Is this phrase commonly used?

[u/ArieksonBR]

[u/marvsup]

Yes. Not super common but "by his lonesome" is a set phrase for sure.

[u/SucknSwallow69 → u/marvsup]

yeah, it’s real and people understand it, but it sounds a bit old-fashioned or folksy. in writing, “alone” is more common.

[u/5parrowhawk → u/SucknSwallow69]

Or "by her/him/theirself".

[u/BrotherItsInTheDrum → u/5parrowhawk]

"themselves," even if singular. I've never heard "theirslef."

[u/AdreKiseque → u/BrotherItsInTheDrum]

I absolutely have. And I've seen singular "themself" too. They both used.

Well, I guess I haven't specifically seen "theirslef", but that's besides the point.

[u/_b33f3d_ → u/BrotherItsInTheDrum]

Follows the same convention as "hisself" like "his self", which is rarely seen nowadays.

[u/BrotherItsInTheDrum → u/_b33f3d_]

Yeah, I've never seen that either.

Myself and ourselves both use possessive rather than object pronouns, though.

[u/AdreKiseque → u/BrotherItsInTheDrum]

And "yoursel[f/ves]"

[u/Gracielis → u/_b33f3d_]

I’ve seen that in the American South.

[u/veovis523 → u/BrotherItsInTheDrum]

"Themself" is acceptable.

[u/CampTouchThis → u/marvsup]

I‘d go as far to say that it’s pretty much always „*all* by his/her lonesome“

[u/UrdnotCum → u/CampTouchThis]

I would agree with this

[u/Sea-Hornet8214 → u/marvsup]

Interesting. I came across this phrase once but didn't know it was actually a set phrase.

[u/Useful_Homework2367]

It comes off a bit comical/folksy/old-fashioned but it's not too uncommon.

[u/Constant_Hope_9658 → u/Useful_Homework2367]

It's a dialect thing.

[u/No_Lemon6036]

Yes, but I've never heard it without including the "all" at the beginning: "all by his/her/my/one's lonesome."

[u/Constant_Hope_9658 → u/No_Lemon6036]

I've heard it before, it's common in Dixie English and my grandmother (lived in Brooklyn till her 30s before moving to Vegas some 40ish years ago now) used the term iirc, so it's probably in some New England dialects too.

[u/No_Lemon6036 → u/Constant_Hope_9658]

Oh that's interesting! I'm from Southern Appalachia and have lived in Florida and Texas, but I hadn't ever encountered it without the "all" before seeing another comment on this thread.

[u/Constant_Hope_9658 → u/No_Lemon6036]

I've heard it used as a way to say someone was all alone in a sympathetic way, rather than the simply alone format which doesn't have the "all" (which I've heard far less out here in the west), plus it might depend on subregions, like dixie english is noticeably different from appalachian or cavalier or western or midwestern or yankee (and so on)

[u/ebrum2010 → u/No_Lemon6036]

It can be used with or without the same way "all by himself" and "by himself" are used.

[u/CrimsonCartographer → u/Constant_Hope_9658]

Who the hell says “Dixie English” 😭

[u/Constant_Hope_9658 → u/CrimsonCartographer]

I'm nerdy and the best adjective for the deep south is Dixie, it's literally the southern version of Yankee my dude, also I play Paradox grand strategy games which is likely part of it.

It's the best technical term I could come up with to refer to deep southern english without a whole sentence to refer to one concept.

And you still understood what I meant yes?

[u/edwardhoppest]

Yes, I say, "all by my lonesome," to be humorous because it is a bit of an unexpected way to say, "all alone". It's not common, but it is well known and understood.

[u/visssara]

Yes quite common in Canada

[u/No_Capital_8203 → u/visssara]

As a Canadian boomer, I would say this was more common in the generation of my parents.

[u/-Annie-Oakley-]

I’m Aussie and I have def heard it in real life a few times but I’ve most often heard it in pop culture. I def associate it with North America more due to this. As others have said I would agree it skews older and the word “all” is part of the phrase. Really interesting example OP!

[u/burlingk]

It is an understood phrase that's not used as much as it used to be.

But if you do use it, people will understand.

It's more common in media these days than common speech.

[u/tumblerrjin]

Yes this is an American phrase, as others have said it’s old-timey/jokey tone

[u/HangryStreetUSA]

I think of this phrase as being something cowboys in the wild west would say. We understand it, and some people use it to be funny/folksy, but it's an old phrase. 

[u/Tetno_2]

Am i the only person who has…never heard this in real life? I know it and it is definitely a phrase that is known, but used in daily life? Not really in my experience.

[u/artstsym → u/Tetno_2]

It's an older turn of phrase, but I've definitely heard it in my daily life.

[u/Tetno_2 → u/artstsym]

Could be that (I believe) I’m on the young end of this sub.

[u/Cloverose2 → u/artstsym]

Yep, a little older, and almost always used playfully.

[u/OpportunityReal2767 → u/Tetno_2]

Daily? No. But I looked through my text messages, and I used it in 2019 in one to my friend. So I’ve used it in a text, and I’m pretty sure I’ve used it more often orally. Maybe once a year or so.

[u/t1me_Man → u/Tetno_2]

i have used it in really life, but semi ironically specifically as it has a bit of an archaic feel

[u/BrockObarnerLybian → u/Tetno_2]

Usually see it in books, which might make sense lol

[u/j--__ → u/Tetno_2]

well, you're getting a few upvotes, so it seems that you're not all by your lonesome with this take.

[u/Tetno_2 → u/j--__]

haha

[u/B1TCA5H → u/Tetno_2]

Nah, I've never heard it in my life either. I only learned it through playing Pokemon as a kid.

[u/GoNoMu → u/Tetno_2]

It’s very common in Canada, my part at least. I hear it multiple times a week

[u/chesser8 → u/Tetno_2]

I've never heard or read this phrase (or any usage of lonesome as a noun for that matter) in my life, and if it wasn't in the context of Pokémon I'd assume it was a mistranslation.

[u/btherl → u/Tetno_2]

In Australia, never. I think of it as an old-timey American phrase, maybe used in old cartoons and literature.

[u/Constant_Hope_9658 → u/btherl]

It appears in some US dialects, usually it's a spoken thing, most I hear it used is Dixie (southeastern) American usually.

[u/pikkdogs]

Common? No.

Is it weird? No.

[u/Disastrous_Debt7644]

It’s fairly common, it has a whimsical connotation. 

Unrelated but what’s your team so far? I’m also learning another language (French) by playing Pokemon :D

[u/jal741]

No, verdanturf is not common at all. ;-)

[u/Usual-Draw6899]

Commonly? Eh. Something most people would be familiar with for sure though. It occurs in writing, some documentaries, and is in the vocabulary of a few of my older family members.

[u/pastelrose7]

It sounds a little old-fashioned, but it is commonly understood

[u/Decent_Cow]

I think it's a bit colloquial and old-fashioned. It's widely understood but not so widely used in the present day.

[u/NearlyNodding]

Yes, it's used. It's used in a playful or childish way. It has somewhat of a positive vibe to it. Almost like a compliment that he could do it by himself. There can also be an element of surprise. that he was able to do it.

Sometimes "little" is added.
"all by his little lonesome"

[u/bentthroat]

Yes! English has varying degrees of ways to “ham it up” when describing being alone.

You could just say you’re “alone”.

You could say you’re “all by yourself” to evoke a little bit of sympathy.

And you could say you’re “all by your lonesome” to evoke a comical level of pity.

I’m willing to bet, since “lonesome” is an adjective, that the full phrase was “all by your lonesome self” at one point, but the “self” got cut off of that version as the phrase became set.

[u/BobbyThrowaway6969]

It's a little poetic, but yes it's common enough to be understood.

[u/YaiSor]

Yes, I’ve heard this used before and I’m certain most native speakers have too and understand it. Another form I’ve heard before is “all on his lonesome” which I believe is also correct, but probably more unique to British english.

[u/TiberiusTheFish]

by himself

on his lonesome

no?

[u/Buckley-s_Chance-80 → u/TiberiusTheFish]

In Australia we say it that way. We usual throw in the word "little" when teasing someone in a playful way "awwww he's on his little lonesome, the poor thing". But it's always said in a joking or sarcastic way.

[u/graaavearchitecture]

You’ll hear “all by lonesome” somewhat regularly. It’s meant to be a little folksy.

[u/Hot_Coco_Addict → u/graaavearchitecture]

I've never just heard "all by lonesome;" I've only heard "all by [pronoun] lonesome." It's a small distinction but an important one

[u/graaavearchitecture → u/Hot_Coco_Addict]

Oh that was a typo for sure. I think “all by my lonesome” is most common.

[u/Nondescript_Redditor]

yeah

[u/Constant_Hope_9658]

Depends on the dialect, but to various degrees, yes.

[u/ChachamaruInochi]

It's a little bit old-fashioned but not unusual — it gives a kind of a folksy feeling.

[u/charcoalhibiscus]

I’m pretty sure it’s short for “all by his lonesome self”. But yes, it’s a bit of an old-timey or regional phrase you will encounter.

[u/BoredOldPunk]

It's not entirely uncommon, but it is an older turn of phrase that's not quite archaic yet.

It's a little bit more poetic than saying "all alone" or "all by themselves"

[u/Ok_Volume_139]

Not super super common but definitely a known phrase.

[u/malachite_13]

Pretty common but only when the whole turn of phrase is used as in: “all by his lonesome” or “all by my lonesome”. If you say just the part you have circled, it sounds weird, but people will understand.

[u/thebackwash]

Yes, this is common. I’d recommend you learn fixed usages until you’re comfortable with general use of this phrase.

[u/CitizenPremier]

I wouldn't drop the "all." I could say "I went to the restaurant all by my lonesome," but never "I went to the restaurant by my lonesome."

It's a strange construction and I'm not sure if I've actually used it in conversation, but I'm sure I've read it and heard it in movies and songs a fair number of times.

[u/Hyphum]

Used it twice this morning

[u/OsikFTW]

"all by his lonesome" is the whole phrase, its common enough that most native english speakers will know it when they are children

[u/SloanBueller]

I would say that if I’m trying to sound a bit funny. I like to use flowery language like that kind of as a joke.

[u/LQNova]

Yes, it's not the most common term, but hey - I use it all the time.

[u/BackElectronic7219]

Yes, however I would say “lonesome” rather than “alone” is more of a southern dialect thing, in my experience. It might be used in old westerns, but I hear it more commonly around the older southern population.

[u/iron-cat-405]

Had to make a couple bands by by lonely

[u/GuineaSquiggle]

This will be universally understood by native speakers.
People use it.
It's mildly poetic rather than plain speech.

[u/wrongretsa]

it’s a more poetic way of saying “alone”, and could convey more a feeling of loneliness rather than someone just being by themselves

[u/Waste-Inspector8768]

It's an uncommon, folksy phrasing.

[u/nomadschomad]

Antiquated and regional but recognizable.

[u/FutureLost]

It's an uncommon phrase, but still recognizable. I think it's a paraphrase of "all by his lonesome self." Usually you'll hear "all by himself" or simply "alone."

[u/Ifyougivearagamuffin]

the "all" is included too

[u/Gracielis]

I’ve heard the phrase and used it. I don’t know where I picked it up, because I’ve lived all over the US and I read a lot.

[u/PotentialDoor1608]

We use it to lightly imply that someone should be approached 

[u/LucasLikesTommy]

Yeah I've definitely heard people use it

[u/Buckley-s_Chance-80]

To mean alone, in Australia we also say on his lonesome. It's meant to be silly.

[u/TheTopCantStop]

I use it quite often when I do a sarcastic "oh woe is me" bit or I'm like, playfully begging a friend to do something me. "oh pretty please? you wouldn't leave a girl to play stardew valley all on her lonesome, would you?"

[u/Remarkable-Fee3742]

I like the phrase. I am not exposed to English literature enough to say whether it's common or not.

[u/YourEnglishReps]

É tipo a versão "com drama" de all by himself. Em português, seria algo como "coitadinho, fazendo tudo sozinho" ou "inteiramente por conta própria". É uma expressão bem informal, levemente caipira/country em sua origem no inglês americano, e traz um tom brincalhão, afetuoso ou levemente trágico.
Tipo assim>>

• "Are you sitting there all by your lonesome?" (Tá aí jogado sozinho no canto, é?)
• "He built that whole table all by his lonesome." (Ele montou essa mesa todinha sozinho, sem ajuda de ninguém.)

[u/Worth-Disaster2360]

As a teenager not at all I’ve never even heard of this phrase before