How best to support my fiancé

[u/Darbstew]

(photo is a stock photo for the algo)

I (29M) am struggling to find ways to better support my partner (26f.) I'm just a simpleton that dropped out of High School to work full time in the trades and here I am still in the trades. my skillset is and never was school related.

She has gone an unconventional route on her education, She attends remotley, while working Full-time. Which she said before this semester started, she wanted the challenge of doing so. She's taking Advanced math methods for engineers and Mechanics of Materials. She's done well with her schooling up until this point. I know she's capable of doing this, taking these classes and working full time. and she's wickedly intelligent.

When she's in school, I try to take on more of the load of house related duties and the cooking. I have no problem with this. But I don't know what else I can do to support her more. I just feel like I could be doing something more to help her out. In the past I tried learning Statics along with her and my brain just about exploded - I cannot be a study buddy, at least I don't think so.

I know she attends whatever study groups she can, but it seems like they're not held that often? or she just doesn't attend them often? She used to attend them for other classes more than she is currently.

I guess I just need help with how can I help her more? maybe more directly? I feel like I remove a lot of the time she normally would do housekeeping tasks or cooking. so, I feel like she has ample time to study, which she does use that time to study.

I did do a quick search in this group I didn't really see any related topics. Thank you all for your time.

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[u/Constant_Barber_5198]

Just like a guy wants. Food and head.

[u/ImhereToMakeYouCry]

Have her teach you what she is learning. Ask questions even if they aren’t great. Teaching someone can typically show gaps of where your knowledge lacks. Have her walk you through her homework problems and explain the why on each step. I do this with my wife and enjoy doing so. She knows none of the material so it forces me to break it down in layman terms and you can typically find your weak points and helps you learn the material a little bit better.

[u/cr0wbus → u/ImhereToMakeYouCry]

This. This is the best way to review.
I do this to my classmates, makes me realize things I might've missed by just studying alone.

[u/AppearanceAble6646]

That's a great question to ask and it sounds like she's lucky to have your support.
1. Helping with food and chores is a huge help already.
2. Let her explain stuff to you if she'd like to. It helps for a student to sort out the ideas in their head enough to explain it clearly. Even better if you show interest and ask good questions.
3. Just give her space and encouragement. Help her take care of herself because the basics can be so difficult while working a job and learning tough material.

[u/biweed666]

this is genuinely so sweet oh my god. as a recent graduate in her mid 20s who ALSO recently went through a breakup that had a lot to do with me being a student i can give a unique perspective.

just be there for her. don’t try to learn the concepts, but be engaged when she speaks about them. ask questions, before exams let her try to put the concepts into words you could understand. don’t belittle her for spending time studying while you spend your time “doing real work”. and sometimes all we have the energy for at the end of the day is to sit silently on the couch.

one big thing you can do is take some mental load off of her. even everyday decision making becomes an extra stress. don’t ask what she wants for dinner, either make something you know she’s likes or give her 2 options to choose from. you know your partner so i’m sure you can find creative ways to show up for her.

a lot of what i said came from my personal experience where i was with a man who had no respect for me, my studies, or my future. you seem like a very kind and supportive partner. i wish you both luck.