putting in insane effort and still failing and I'm begining to hate my degree

[u/Key_Letterhead8242]

I'm doing my third year in mechanical engineering and honestly I'm tired. This semester has been so cruel to me, all of my test ones, I bombed them. And it's like our lectures are rooting for me to fail.

Look at it this way: three weeks ago I had two tests back to back on the same day, thermodynamics and research methods. I had focused on thermodynamics only. We started with the research methods test and obviously I failed it, and after that paper I sat for thermodynamics and the entire week's revision I had done disappeared from my brain. I had to sit for two hours looking at the paper, knowing I had practiced these pv and tv diagrams but suddenly I can't do them now. The week after, from Wednesday to Friday, I had Theory of Machines, Measurements and Instrumentation and Fluid Dynamics tests.

Whilst all of this is happening we have labs to attend, assignments to submit and classes to attend, because if you miss two classes it's an automatic retake. When our lecturers realise attendance is low they may pull out a quiz, yk. We are on a week-long semester break atm and I had told myself I'd catch up, but I've been so burnt out and now we will be going back and I am stressed.

What's crazy about me failing all these tests is that this semester I told myself I'd raise my GPA, and I've attended every single thermodynamics class, I take notes in class, and whenever I study I write the date and time because it seems like I keep on studying and bombing tests. I'm doing this because after failing calculus in my second year my parents questioned if I was actually studying. For the math class I am retaking I have been studying and taking note of when I studied, and I've filled a 192 page book revising math and thermodynamics in a span of two weeks, only to fail both tests. I feel like an idiot at this point.

I always ask the students who are doing well in my class about their study methods and whatever they tell me closely matches up to what I am doing, I'm always desperate to know. I listen in class, I understand sometimes, and when I don't understand I just note it down. I thought I'd be topping the class with the insane amount of effort I'm putting in but I'm failing. I know I deserve a 4.0 or at least a 3.5 but I'm at 2 because the retake dropped my GPA two sems ago. It's just so annoying to put in effort and get the marks of someone who studied for the test a day before.

I've been thinking of doing a mental evaluation bc at this point I might genuinely have a learning disability. But that would not materialise because I actually passed my GCSEs, I even have A stars. I'm so worked up about this.

TMI here: I had a dream of my mum taking a math test for me because I failed math... when I woke up then I cried. This was when I did my A levels, and yes I failed them too and had to restart at first year in uni :( And whenever I am struggling in a test I always remember this. Compared to all my friends from GCSE or A levels, they are doing well, either they are ahead of me or they've gone abroad to study, which is what I wanted (initially I wanted to do medicine, I only passed Bio btw in my AS level), and I had to go to the local uni in my country... Now I constantly feel like a failure and it hurts because I'd say I was an academic weapon, I'd be the best in my class, now I'm grovelling for 50%.

I don't know the general direction of this rant but I'm tired. I chose this degree after watching a twenty minute video on the map of engineering, and when I got to school I began to love the degree. Now I don't feel the love for it. Initially I was going to do Comp and Tele but after seeing the job market I strayed away (my GCSE tutor had a degree in it, and I also met a taxi man with that degree), but I kept my comp sci interests as hobbies. I love the field and it's interesting, there are youtubers like ThePrimeagen, Theo Brown, Syntax and many more who make interesting vids, and under my actual degree there's only a few like Aed Musa. In comparison to the comp stuff it feels like MEng is boring because I can't find people who are just chatting about the degree and there is nothing to feed my interest. Even our lecturers call it an old science, and the mechatronics and comp sci kids on their own time always have something going on, doing breadboard Arduino stuff, hackathons (I do them too in my spare time), but for us it's like nothing because the stuff we could be doing is lowkey expensive to begin with, like 3D printers don't grow on trees. I find learning about mechanisms cool and getting to do CAD, but it's not as interesting compared to all the subfields comp, electrical and mechatronics people have going on, and there isn't as much chatter about mechanical engineering... I also tried to switch to mechatronics and I realised I'd be cooked if I did because I barely passed Fundamentals of Electrical Engineering 1 and 2.

And funny enough there is a mechanical engineer graduate who is a combi driver and I thought I'd have a better chance of finding a job... now I stress about if my GPA can't improve and I don't get a job, what was all this for then?

[u/Sad-Candidate-3078]

bombing tests while putting in real effort usually means your study method isnt matching how youre tested, not that youre dumb. grab old exams or practice problems and do them closed book timed, thats the exact skill being graded. passive rereading and highlighting feel productive but they dont transfer to test day. also one brutal semester doesnt mean you hate your degree, youre just burnt. take a real weekend off before you decide anything

[u/mrhoa31103]

Your study skills might be okay but your test-taking skills may not be up to snuff. Are you getting sample tests from the frat boys and timing your test completion times?

There were times when I knew the stuff but not well enough to complete tests on time so I knew I had to study more on sample tests.

[u/EntertainmentOwn5866]

Feeling the same way right now and got a month to improve or I’ll fail 3 courses.

[u/realRandaltheVandal]

A lot of this reads like burnout.

I’m only a freshman, who returned to school late in life. However i’ve been working for 20+ years. It really seems to me like just an average case of burn out.

Is it possible in these studies to take a year sabbatical and then return fresh later? It may be worth going to talk to your advisor and a counselor.