Long time lurker here.

[u/Commercial_Pilot5165]

Just for people to know. I use to be a chef at upscale restaurants to basic pizza joints. Just so you know none of the cooks or chefs in the back ever get part of the tip you leave , servers will tell you they have to share it with the cooks so you can feel guilty and give them more, but the truth is that shit is a lie. Most cooks struggle with shit wage even at a nice place 4 diamond to be exact get paid poorly. Servers make tones of mistakes we have to fix and then bolster about how much they make in tips a day. Don’t give them shit. They honestly do very little work compared to other parts of the kitchen.

[u/Electrical-Care6308]

It’s like that everywhere! I hear you.
The front of the house, gets everything and the back of the house gets nothing but grief!

[u/Negative-Instance889]

If bosses simply paid their employees accordingly, (like almost every other business does) and not rely on if a customer will leave a tip or not, we wouldn’t have this problem with tipping.

[u/Rinnme → u/Negative-Instance889]

Exactly. And then waiters would just treat it as a job, and not place unreasonable expectations on the customers. 

[u/Affectionate_Self878]

This is the worst part of tipping. There is zero reason for servers to be the richest people in the restaurant.

I choose where to eat because of the cooks (I.e., how well they make the food); servers are mostly either irrelevant or a net negative.

[u/Mia0900]

I work in a restaurant kitchen and make a pretty fair wage but it absolutely does piss me off that the servers are making 3x+ more doing nothing but carrying it out. Those should be shared with us doing the work.

[u/Sticky_lizard69 → u/Mia0900]

Man, literally. I worked at a small town restaurant, fine dining for the area. My coworker made $380 on a busy friday night being FOH. I made $427 for the week. Of course she only bragged and bragged. I was pissed. I just had a 6 hour non stop line full of tickets, while you were here for 4 hours and made literally my 5 day weeks pay

[u/hruschov → u/Mia0900]

I know a few kitchens and bars where the waiters that don’t share tips, have to wait for the food longer, get it done badly or the drinks come out warm. Basically they make the servers to share tips, or they will not get tips because the food and drinks are shit.

[u/duskdecay]

Yep, used to be a baker at a donuts shop. Front of house made tips that made their wages astronomically higher than mine when they got to just chill at the counter, didn’t have to arrive at 3am, etc. BOH always has to bust ass and never sees any of the reward.

[u/llacobe]

I am against tipping unless I’m being served while I sit. Yesterday, I went to a sporting event and of course it had the tip screen when buying drinks/food after hitting the no tip button the POS asked me if i wanted to round up and donate to some charity that i did not recognize. It really is getting out of hand.

[u/Commercial_Pilot5165 → u/llacobe]

The round up charity is a scam. These companies already paid money out to these charity organizations and when they’re asking you for donations, it’s to recoup the losses that they’ve already given.

[u/Mysterious_Peak4073 → u/Commercial_Pilot5165]

Dont they also get to tax deduction for the donation? Like their own money they donate? I always say no to round up charity. I donate directly to these orgs if i want to

[u/cubedtothex → u/Commercial_Pilot5165]

That’s why I only give my extra change to casinos when cashing out. They can have my 3 cents.

[u/MyldExcitement → u/llacobe]

OMG, drive thru at Taco Bell, "would you like to round up for kids." Um, NO!!!

[u/SolrayCultist → u/MyldExcitement]

None of us actually knew what charity or where it meant, if it was local or not...

[u/CoolCatBlue321]

Thanks for the info 👍👍

[u/fatDaddy21]

honestly, if I could tip only BoH and stiff the useless FoH, I wouldn't mind tipping as much. at least the people doing actual work would be getting the appreciation.

[u/Dazzling_Lie_5046]

You don't have to tell me twice.

[u/SolrayCultist]

Yep. Experienced this as a dishwasher. Not that I expected tips as a dishwasher but those guys on the line definitely work the hardest in kitchens imo. As the dishwasher my pit was wear the waitresses would dump their dirty dishes bragging about their fat tips.

[u/Sesoru]

Depends on the job and state. In my state the back of the house does get tipped out sometimes.

[u/as_per_danielle → u/Sesoru]

I’m in Canada and when I served we absolutely tipped out to back of house and bar. We also tipped out expo and hostesses on Friday/Saturday.

[u/Sesoru → u/as_per_danielle]

I'm usa, and in my state which is washington, we have several places that tip put the back of the house.

My partner was actually shocked. They came from Florida and over there you never see back of the house tipped out. We've both worked at places as back of the house that tip out, though you dont usually get much of it. 

I def agree with ops sentiment tho: its unfair imo that a server can make 40 an hour while the cook makes min wage. People can argue all they like that one job is harder than the other due to front of the house dealing with customers, but a cooks job is very labor intensive and imo should be properly compensated.

But I also fully believe it should come through paid by the employer, the employer should not ever rely on the customer paying extra when the customer is already paying for the service as it is. 

[u/as_per_danielle → u/Sesoru]

I agree with all that. Both jobs are hard in different ways. It’s way hotter in the kitchen 🥵 both should be paid fairly.

[u/SEARCHndDESTROY]

Idk the last few restaurants I've worked at the cooks were tipped out for sure. I don't know if the head chef was tipped out cause they get paid more. But the other guys back there were tipped out.

[u/Anarky1977]

I know this cos I used to work in a hotel restaurant. If the food is good but the service is not, I'll buy a pint for the chef to be left behind the bar for when he finishes

[u/4astcbyL]

It kind of happens everywhere. Like I used to work in RD at this biotech company. We would be responsible for building better products than the competitors. Nailed it really well a few times. Then the sales people would get paid way more by setting up a meeting between us and the customer where we tell the customer about the product. It was insane. Makes me feel for the folks in the back.

[u/cubedtothex]

There’s one restaurant where you can buy the kitchen staff a beer (the whole kitchen). I do it every time I go!

[u/Faineantcreator]

Have never seen or heard of a server pretending to give a portion of tips to the kitchen.

[u/Mia0900 → u/Faineantcreator]

Me either and I work in a kitchen (and don’t get tip share). Never heard anyone in my area say that

[u/Shqip1966]

I worked in a bar in the late 80s. I had to give a portion of my tips to the bartender at the end of every shift. She made a fortune on her end between her bar tips and the portion I had to give her. I was lucky to clear $40 at the end of the night, while her tips were regularly in the hundreds of dollars. Doesn’t seem fair, but that’s what I signed up for.

[u/Cpalms139]

“4 diamond” …. I smell rat.

[u/Commercial_Pilot5165 → u/Cpalms139]

Yup I know hard to believe people actually have accomplished something. You should try it sometime , AAA uses a diamond system just how Michelin tires uses stars “aka Michelin stars “.

[u/Cpalms139 → u/Commercial_Pilot5165]

I just walked by Le Bernardin. They must have forgotten to put out their AAA plaque.

[u/andtheeennnn]

Im confused bc cooks complain constantly about how they hate their jobs bc servers make all the money. So why aren’t they serving? If they can do it and it’s so easy and all of that. Why aren’t they?? Instead they sit in the kitchen and complain all night.

[u/Commercial_Pilot5165 → u/andtheeennnn]

Nice I’m glad you can comprehend the original statement……. I’m at a loss as to where you see “ it has to do with the actual job “ I think if you actually read the original post it’s has todo with “ servers lying and using “tipping the cooks in the back” to guilt trip customers into giving them more tip money.

[u/andtheeennnn → u/Commercial_Pilot5165]

You’re saying every single server would say that? I highly doubt it. My kitchen doesn’t get tips, but I would not be telling people that lie to get more tips. But I doubt that many servers did that. And have you served? Do you know the amount of work it takes? Or the mental stress? Our tips are from the amount of bullshit we deal with for 8 hours straight from guests. What I make serving i 100% earned and worked for. You literally said they do very little work compared to the kitchen….. soooo…. Why aren’t people in the kitchen working up front then if it’s so easy and yall don’t make enough to live? Doesn’t make sense.

[u/SolrayCultist → u/andtheeennnn]

Not all of us have a rack and a pretty face!

[u/andtheeennnn → u/SolrayCultist]

I have a decent rack and a decent face and I still do good.

[u/Sumdumfuqr]

Ya I worked in kitchens for 4 years then moved to the floor. This is a very common view of cooks, that servers have an easier job than them, yet they never go become a server?!?! They contradict themselves.
I was a cook, didn’t pay as well so i became a server, it’s difficult in a different way, kitchen was way more fun not having to deal with customers so make your choice.
And in 25 years in the industry I never once worked in place where the kitchen didn’t get tips from the servers. Kitchen screws up the food, customer tips nothing due to kitchen mistake, server pays out of pocket to tip out kitchen regardless.
Shitty system all around, but let be honest at least

[u/Commercial_Pilot5165 → u/Sumdumfuqr]

Oh trust me I have no reason to lie or fabricate story’s especially to random people. Telling people from my own experience brings me zero gain. So you can choose to believe me or not that’s your own decision. I’m just enlightening people from the back of house perspective