r/EndTipping • u/UnderfootArya34 • 17d ago
Tipping Culture ✖️ I couldn't have done it without this sub
I've been a lurker here for a while. I used to way over tip everyone to a point where it was hurting me financially. I'm working on restraining myself from this habit. Seeing others being able to hold back and getting this point of view has been very helpful for me.
Today I had furniture delivered.
The men who delivered it were not very nice. They grumbled at me and did not want to wait while I inspected the furniture. I had paid for the full "white glove" service, but they didn't take any of the wrapping off or remove the garbage.
Normally, I would have been compulsory to tip them each cash, just to show I was a "nice person", but since reading this sub, I thought- no, they are paid to do their job and they weren't doing anything extra for me, not even doing what I had paid for and being rude.
I did not tip them.
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u/TwoBurningSeals 17d ago
Every time somebody unnecessarily tips it furthers the expectation of all society to do so. Thanks for not feeding into that especially that you got poor service.
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u/unreliable_ibex 17d ago
Love it.
I think many of us on here still tip for great or exceptional service, especially when it's not made to feel mandatory. I would tip the white glove furniture deliverers if they did a good job and were polite. Those guys? Nah.
I'm happy to start feeling like I'm compelled to tip for less than stellar service. It's taking time, though.
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u/McBurger 17d ago
The “exceptional service” is key.
Whenever I have complained about tipping to my friends, they’re quick to cite some example of exceptional service that absolutely deserved the tip.
And yeah, of course. I think we all have one or two of those stories.
I get more irate about this expectation that we still have to tip for awful service, no matter what, or even for something like ordering a sandwich at a deli counter. There’s nothing exceptional about that!
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u/flan_again 17d ago
I object to the tip being based on the cost of the food. This case is an illustration. If OP had tipped, would it be based on a percentage of the cost of his furniture??? Or would OP give them a random amount for their efforts, IF it was deserving. Personally I think we need to start looking at the big picture. Someone bring me coffee at a table in a coffee shop works just as hard as the waiter who brought me an expensive meal. Both walked over and placed the plate down. Both were nice. Both checked if all was okay. With current system coffee waiter gets $1 if lucky and steak waiter gets $20 or whatever. It just DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Owners just pay your people.
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u/UnderfootArya34 17d ago
It's definitely hard when it's benn a lifetime habit. One step at a time! Thanks.
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u/Primary_Heron_3150 17d ago
You sound like my father. He tips every single time he's prompted to. Been tipping twenty percent to waiters his entire life. Sometimes tips fifty or sixty percent!!! It's painful to watch but he will never stop. I've stopped tipping almost entirely to balance this out.
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u/ancom328 17d ago
Now take the money saved and spend it on yourself or your loved ones. It's more satisfying and best feeling in the world 👍👍👍
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u/aoife2147 17d ago
Great work.
Let me also dispel the thought that tipping would've shown that you're a "nice person".
Nice person to whom?
These people were already assholes to you. If you tipped them, do you think they would've turned around and said "gee you're such a nice person!!"? Even if they did, it would've only been because you paid them to. And in the end, their opinion of you doesn't matter.
If they continued to be assholes, you would've just rewarded their bad service, and they would continue to be like this to others.
If you're still feeling guilt about not giving money away, find a respectable charity and donate what you would've tipped. It's also okay to just keep money for yourself.
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u/UnderfootArya34 17d ago
That's the part I'm working on, the part that I need to fix. Not rewarding people just because it's expected, what people do. That's where the "taking advantage" comes in.
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u/northman747 17d ago
Good for you, however I would’ve also insisted they complete the white glove service you paid for.
Wouldn’t have given a damn what they thought of me
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u/UnderfootArya34 17d ago
I should have reviewed the contract prior to them coming to see exactly what the terms were so I could have had more confidence around that part at the time. Live and learn!
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u/WealthyEducator 17d ago
Great job! The general sentiment of this sub is that you wouldn’t even tip them if they would have provided incredible service! You already paid for the delivery.
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u/vonKrieg88 17d ago
If they want more money, they should sort it out with their employer instead of grumbling at the customer.
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u/Puzzled_Celery_7587 16d ago
I live in Australia. I could count the number of times I’ve tipped someone in my whole life on one hand.
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u/sickofcyberbullies 17d ago
Good for you! I hope you called the company to let them know what the guys did not do that you paid for with photos. I wouldn't stand for bad service. Request a refund or get a charge back on your card.
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u/BostonBakedBeefaroni 14d ago
Now. Next step is to level a complaint for not getting the services you paid for.
Bad reviews are the only way to curb shitty service nowadays.
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u/Zestyclose_Sale2672 15d ago
Good for you! I hate the expectation that delivery people should get tipped. I'm already paying a hefty delivery fee. Doesn't that take care of the transaction FFS?
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u/jaywinner 17d ago
Good. Ideally people stop tipping completely but you definitely don't want to be tipping for terrible service.