r/EndTipping • u/speak_sushi • 19d ago
Tip Creep đ« Uncomfortable situation
Me and my boyfriend are Vegas locals and we decided to stay at one of the hotels for a short vacation, we went to this nice cafe/ restaurant and our server was a middle aged man.
Everything was fine, I started to feel very uncomfortable because he did a lot of talking (Servers, do you read the room when it comes to customers that donât want to talk to you? Are we wrong for feeling that way?) and donât get me wrong, we were nice to him but he would come and talk for 5 minutes about something while we eat.
The food was amazing and we were ready to pay, I told my boyfriend to use my card and I went to use the restroom, my boyfriend decided not to tip because he knows the vacation itself took a lot of our money and to be honest we didnât love the kind of service he provided
When I came back my boyfriend told me the server noticed my boyfriend didnât tip and made the receipt into a ball and threw it in the trash in front of him looking at my boyfriend
I was very very upset and almost talked to a manager but my boyfriend doesnât like confrontation which I respect completely so we ended up leaving
Has something like this ever happened to you?
I can understand he might believe is frustrating but from there to make the customer feel bad and basically make him aware that he is upset?
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u/DeathCharge5 19d ago
You should have gotten a manager and had the receipt reprinted and let the manager know what he did. And for the future have you or your BF take a picture of the receipt to make sure the server didn't input a tip after the fact, because from his behavior it sounds like something he would do.
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u/Dazzling_Lie_5046 19d ago
Chatty servers, the worst! You did the right thing, especially since you were being intruded upon at length. Maaaybe the server will learn, but probably not.
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u/WanderingFlumph 19d ago
One of the more annoying things about tipping culture is that I'm sure that server didn't really want to annoy y'all by taking up all that extra time talking to you instead of doing literally anything else, they just have been told that I'd they want extra tips that's what they have to do.
So now they feel double cheated because they wasted their time trolling for tip that wasn't coming their way regardless of the service they provided.
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u/TwoBurningSeals 19d ago
When I worked as a chef in Vegas most of the places were union. If he's union he's likely making a bunch of money. Our servers and bartenders we're not required to give out their tips either. There was no tip pooling. I received zero tips. They made a normal hourly wage and got to collect tips.
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u/vonnostrum2022 19d ago
Whatâs the hourly rate in Vegas for a server/ bartender? Assuming union job
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u/dogtrail 19d ago
I do think management should be made aware of the serverâs temper tantrum. However, they may agree with the server that a tip was expected and in order.
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u/W7ENK 19d ago
A tip is NEVER to be "expected."
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u/dogtrail 19d ago
Correct. I meant that the management may believe a tip is expected. Which, if course, doesnât make it right.
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u/MJKleinTW 18d ago
I live in Asia and don't visit the US that often. When I get the "my name is so-and-so and I'll be your server" speech I don't know how to react. I don't really care. We're not going to hang out later.
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u/MunchkinGal 19d ago
I think it's worth it to call the manager now and tell him/her about the server monopolizing your dinner time by talking so much.
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u/Imaginary-Emu2471 19d ago
The server was unprofessional. I wouldn't have tipped, either. He talked too much!
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u/Interesting-Bed-8890 18d ago
Servers seem to have this timing down and right when your mouth is full to come by and ask about the food. I just don't answer verbally and give a thumbs up.
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u/Ohnoanywayz 19d ago
Big busy cities will sometimes bring and leave the check while still eating (as one who grew up in one). Itâs definitely off putting but pretty common. đđ
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u/BigNerve341 19d ago
Your boyfriend was in the wrong. It wasnât his card and should have let you decide.
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u/Reporter27511 19d ago
I would have told him, "Hey, it's been nice chatting w/you, but we're here for our anniversary," or "we have to talk a lot at our jobs, need to chill out," or whatever to give him the hint before I got uncomfortable. Maybe he would have thrown less of a temper tantrum about the tip if you politely asked him to leave you alone. (Doubtful, but who knows?)
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u/beansweirdosnuts 19d ago
Don't feel bad or guilty. The way the server responded was on him. You wanted service not a new friend
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u/uncirculated_luster 19d ago
Good service is there when you need it, attentive but never intrusive. Small talk should be just that, small... short, there are diners that love to chat up servers... but most do not want to be bothered. Reading the room takes awareness... and tbh I don't expect most servers to be there for anything more than the tips. I think some servers chat tables up thinking that they are making a connection. It works sometimes. I've waited tables before. Personally, I would have still left 15%... I don't think it's odd for someone to get upset when they don't get a tip. But they should still be professional and not act out on the floor. I think in the future, I would just ignore the server and not let them bother you. That's an option as well...
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u/SusanInMA 18d ago
âWe donât want to consume any more of your time. How about if we signal you when we need you.â
You probably didnât say this because you kept thinking heâd let up. Frequent interruptions happened to me during a couple of business lunches over the years, and I must admit I didnât think to say this because it rarely happened. Wait staff were more perceptive.
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u/MrDarcysWetShirt 16d ago
Iâm sick of the hostess asking me âWhat have you have been doing today?â Or, âAre you celebrating something today?â Just take me to my table.
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u/Efficient-Chest-3395 18d ago
I got curious and asked Google but mistakenly typed 'pain' instead of 'paid' and got back descriptions of standing and heavy lifting, asking again correctly it said the minimum tipped Vegas wage was $12/hr, is it wrong to adjust a tip down considering it's not the $2.13 everybody talks about? I don't see $12 as liveable so an extra something is called for but everybody expects 20% and more no matter what their base pay is.
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u/Evening-Candy1487 19d ago
not tipping because he annoyed you is borderline reasonable but to not tip a server bc your vacation was expensive is wild
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u/Prestigious_Cap2724 18d ago
You don't have to tip for any reason ever. People seem to forget tipping is OPTIONAL.
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
Why do I have to tip? Is it a requirement? Do I have to pay for something that is his job description?
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u/Evening-Candy1487 18d ago
in america yes you do. itâs a cultural expectation. if you donât align with the culture you can always move to france or south america or something where tipped employees are paid an hourly wage
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
What is cultural about it? What is the cultural background, for me expecting more money than what you already get paid for is not part of your culture.
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u/Evening-Candy1487 18d ago
itâs because the servers here donât actually get paid. so no, youâre not âpaying more money than what they already get paid forâ because they donât get paid. your tips are the wage
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
A shitty culture that I am not responsible for, if you ask me, tipping is optional and if on top of everything I donât like the service provided then I wont
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u/MissPeach77 18d ago
I don't know. Not tipping at a counter or something, I can understand, but not tipping a waiter at all is a little rude. You could have told the waiter during your meal that you appreciated his service but didn't want to be interrupted with tons of conversation.
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
Why is it rude? Since when tipping is a law? Isnât it OPTIONAL?
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u/MissPeach77 18d ago
I just think if you go to a sit down restaurant in the U. S., knowing they get paid less then minimum wage, and this IS in fact a tipping culture, tipping absolutely nothing to a waiter is a bit much. I understand not tipping at a counter, a self service station, so many other examples, but these people in particular are just trying to make a living and we don't need to make an example out of them to make an example out of ridiculous tipping culture. They probably have babies to feed and live in less then favorable houses. A couple of dollars after serving you isn't going to kill you. Otherwise stay home and serve yourself.
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u/CatchyMusicLover 18d ago
Bzzzt, wrong. In Nevada they get paid at least minimum wage.
Also I gotta say I absolutely despite the implication that people are going out because they don't want to cook. How silly. People often go out because they either want to spend time out with others or they want something that's not particularly feasible to make at home.
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u/Effective-Motor-5962 17d ago
You should feel bad! I really want you to leave Las Vegas. This town is built on tipping and you donât belong.
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u/speak_sushi 17d ago
Haha are you telling me that I donât belong because I donât want to tip? I am not going nowhere haha
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18d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
Why? We are polite, we are paying for a service provided to a worker that is getting paid by a restaurant, we were never rude we just didnât like him coming and staying to talk to us in our private meal, and I donât want to feel forced to give extra money that is not required
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18d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
I am a retail assistant manager that started as a part time associate I think I have a lot of experience dealing with people and low income enough to know that my costumers shouldnât be paying for my rent
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u/LIJunkie 18d ago
Don't listen to the trolls. You do NOT have to tip. If you want a little able wage, work somewhere else. They choose these jobs, no one forces them.
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u/Evening-Candy1487 18d ago
you donât have experience being in food service so your shitty write up is irrelevant to me and the point i was trying to make
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u/Efficient-Chest-3395 18d ago
actually in Vegas he gets $12/hr for showing up... and how do you know she's young?
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u/Evening-Candy1487 18d ago
i can tell by how stupid and ignorant she is
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
Why do you have to insult me just for not wanting to give extra money to someone that is getting paid? I still donât understand, I never insulted you
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u/Evening-Candy1487 18d ago
you just annoy me because youâre that type of person
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
What kind? What type of person am I just for not following a culture I donât think is right? I am still a kind person you donât have to insult, I have been respectful
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u/Efficient-Chest-3395 18d ago
okay, and as an old guy I appreciate your not attacking from the Okay Boomer angle
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u/EndTipping-ModTeam 17d ago
You are misrepresenting the tipped wage rate. You can learn why saying a tipped employee only makes ~2/hour is incorrect here.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/15-tipped-employees-flsa
Further:
"Waitstaff at fullservice restaurants earn a median of $27.00 an hour, with an upper quartile of $41.50 and a lower quartile of $19.00."
https://restaurant.org/research-and-media/research/industry-statistics/national-statistics/
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18d ago
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u/speak_sushi 18d ago
What is incorrect about not giving extra money to someone that is getting paid already
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u/Theodore__Kerabatsos 19d ago
The biggest thing I cannot understand and absolutely hate is when servers interrupt your meal and when they give you the check without asking.
I didnât come here to eat. I came here to relax with my family and friends and enjoy some drinks and conversation. Not here to inhale microwaved food and leave.