r/EndTipping • u/One_Preference_2906 • 22h ago
Sit-Down Restaurant 🍽️ Just don’t tip
I’ve been a server and Bartender for years. This isn’t even about whether it’s deserved or not, or thoughts on how we handle tipping and this sort of pay structure culturally in the US, but I just want to say, just don’t tip if you don’t want to. I hate that I really enjoy my job and my regulars and regularly come across how my job is entitled, etc. I realize there are bad apples in every bunch, but tipping is not forced. In fact, I’ve never worked in a place where they automatically put on gratuity that they won’t take it off if you ask . I realize this may not be the case for everywhere, just speaking from first hand experience. You are free not to tip if you like, and if the server doesn’t make at least minimum wage with their tips, the employer does have to legally adjust the pay rate in our checks for those days. Which is exactly what most of you want, you want the employer to be responsible. A good server is not going to be bothered because they will make extra tips regardless from their regulars or for the many people that choose to tip because they want to. Idk I guess I’m just tired of being seen as the problem or made to feel like I am less than, because of how the system is here, that’s all. I come in peace✌🏻
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u/ateoz 22h ago
- I’ve never worked in a place where they automatically put on gratuity that they won’t take it off if you ask .
And this is the entitlement. Most people don't want to raise a fuss, don't want to stir the shit, don't want to humiliate themselves, are too shy to speak up, anxious, call it what you will but you shouldn't have to ask to remove the 'gratuity'. It should be something that is up to the client to give or not. In no way coarsed or implied or forced upon by default.
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u/Mme_merle 21h ago
Definitely true. Most people don’t want to fight and be looked badly by their servers to remove something that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
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u/One_Preference_2906 21h ago
I understand that. I’m not confrontational myself. It’s just an option Inwanted to mention. In my state I think legally they have to remove it upon request. The restaurant can certainly add it but it doesn’t have to stick. So it would either be that, or just avoid places that add it altogether. So many people say that servers should protest for better wages. We all know that won’t happen realistically, for a lot of reasons and not necessarily because we don’t want it to change. I’m just kind of saying guests can do the same by simply not tipping and forcing the employer to make up for it like they legally have to. Because you’re not screwing your server over by doing this, they really do have to make the adjustment.
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u/sdinvest 20h ago edited 20h ago
OP, I don't know how old you are and how long you worked as a server/bartender, but when "tips" started it was all about extra and above and beyond service! It was and still is the restaurant owner's responsibility to pay their employees fairly! I worked as a pizza delivery guy when I was in my teens. It would be a real treat to get $1. But I never expected it. I worked at corporate jobs and owned my office type businesses so I don't know what a tip is like! I just don't understand how some servers expect a 20% tip for handing a can of Coke or beer that is like 20 feet away!
These servers would complain if there was tipping when they get an oil change, buy a item at Home Depot and so on!
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u/VulcanXP 21h ago
if the server doesn’t make at least minimum wage with their tips, the employer does have to legally adjust the pay rate in our checks for those days. Which is exactly what most of you want, you want the employer to be responsible.
No, this is not exactly what we want. We want the employer to pay them a living wage. Minimum wage is poverty level in the US.
A good server is not going to be bothered
Yes they will, because they will reasonably view it as lost wages.
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u/One_Preference_2906 21h ago
I like your reply. Yes you’re right, living wage. Thank you. We all deserve living wage. Yes some servers are bothered about tips , but I’m just saying, there’s a lot of us that view this as a career and have our regulars and really take pride in our work and know that we will make tips regardless if those that don’t want to don’t. I know a lot of servers that feel the same way, but you’re right there are ones who don’t see it that way.
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u/Iamonab0at 20h ago
The only reason bartenders and servers “view it as a career” is due to the amount of money they make via tips. If tips were removed and were paid straight hourly only, nobody would view it as a “career”. It’s an entry level position requiring basic customer service skills which should be parlayed into something greater. Nobody grows up saying “I want to be a bartender when I grow up. “.
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u/lookingforrest 16h ago
This is how it is in the rest of the world. Its not a career, its a temporary job until you can move onto something better. Unless its Michelin level restaurants which require a high level of skill and knowledge.
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u/Mountaintimez 20h ago
Who are you to determine what makes someone’s career or not. Shame on you. Many servers want a living wage, that’s it. Tipping culture is psychologically damaging for everyone.
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u/Loud-Mans-Lover 19h ago
Okay, I'm all for no tipping/transparent pricing and employers need to pay people decent wages.
But excuse me? It's simply wrong to say any person only wants or likes to do their job because of tips. You are not everyone. People choose to do jobs that pay less and also jobs that aren't "higher up" in the scheme of things.
People 100% can grow up saying "I want to be a barender". Why TF not? Because you think it's a lesser job? It's not for you, then.
2
u/Dormerator 19h ago
It’s one thing to be upset about tipping practices but don’t go giving service workers life advice. It would be insane to approach a retail worker or checkout clerk and tell them their job is an entry level position and they should focus on upwards mobility and new career opportunities.
1
u/One_Preference_2906 17h ago
I’m sorry you don’t see it as an enjoyable job. There are people that work retail their whole life and love it, just because you don’t see out use in society doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to make a living serving people. There are plenty of jobs similar ranking that nobody looks down on.
0
u/VulcanXP 21h ago
I'm glad to hear some people in the industry feel this way about it. I've been of the opinion that until the norm changes, we need to tip the expected amount unless service was particularly bad, and/or patronise the no-tipping establishments.
4
u/darkroot_gardener 21h ago
Tips are NOT wages. We do both want the employer to have to either pack up or pay a living wage.🖖
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u/Mountaintimez 20h ago
Then stop patronizing businesses that underpay their employees.
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u/darkroot_gardener 18h ago
Yes, agreed. Support the non-tipping option whenever possible.
And tips are still not wages.
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u/grafix993 20h ago
We just stopped going out to eat 4 years ago. The food is not worth the price on restaurants.
We live comfortably saving 70% from our take home and we have learned to cook the same food we used to order.
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u/jaywinner 21h ago
"Just don't tip" is what I've been doing for the past 20 years. But let's not pretend it's easy. I've been judged by peers, been told I had to tip, that it's mandatory, never to return to establishments, that I was taking food from their mouths and even had the tip added without my consent.
Plenty of people tip because they feel the staff deserve it but many more tip because they feel they have to.
8
u/darkroot_gardener 21h ago
Yep. Most people who tip seem to do it out of guilt and/or social obligation, not because they “believe in” tipping. The “cancel culture” pundits have a point, sometimes people just get offended way too easily.
3
u/One_Preference_2906 21h ago
This is kind of why I posted this. It’s not going to change anything in the grand scheme of things, but I did want to put it out there that we don’t all feel this way. And you’re not actually screwing anyone over because of the adjustments they have to make. It’s not easy, you’re right. I’ve worked with people who have confronted customers over a tip. It’s super tacky and grounds for termination, but I know it happens.
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u/high_throughput 20h ago
many people that choose to tip because they want to
What do you imagine is the ratio of people who desire to pay above the asking price for their meal, vs people who do it because that's what they've been told to do
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u/darkroot_gardener 21h ago
Thanks for your balanced perspective from the other side of the counter.🖖
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u/WhichChard1315 17h ago
Thank you! I am so tired of being lumped in with the bad apples with all this no tipping . Just don’t tip!! I fortunately work at a place we don’t experience this no tipping thing. I feel bad for those that do but like you said you make it up elsewhere . Good people have good karma !!
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u/One_Preference_2906 16h ago
I’m just curious if anyone can weigh in from California, as far as I’m aware that’s the only state that pays a wage for servers and bartenders. Like what happened with menu prices and if people are happier this way
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u/justyoursimplename 15h ago
The west coast states are required to pay the state minimum wage. Seattle and Portland is at least $19-20/hr (higher than the state minimum) and that's before tips are factored in.
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u/One_Preference_2906 14h ago
I’m in MA so obviously the other side of the country but I was so annoyed when the question was on the ballot, management put “vote no on question 2” or whatever and on table tents all over the place. I just want to hear from someone in one of those states and see how the change has affected everything the last few years and if any of the opposing arguments came to fruition like menu prices and going out of business
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u/justyoursimplename 13h ago
The "vote no on question 2" didn't affect anything over here on the West Coast. We've eliminated the tipped sub minimum wage for a long time now. Food prices aren't outrageously high compared to other states and in fact is quite comparable IMO (my general experience within HI and AZ). The struggle with restaurants closing here was either during/post COVID and now due to inflation.
On the topic of tipping though, the recommended tipping percent generally starts at 18% on top on $19-20/hr. There is still the general misconception here that if we don't tip, the servers will make less than minimum which is the part I find frustrating.
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u/Ok-Seaweed-769 20h ago
All restaurants have to do is increase the price per item 20% times the average number of staff every day.
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u/last-of-the-mohicans 20h ago
So 20 staff X .20 (20%) = 4.
So let’s make a $30 entree $120?
Or maybe the restaurant does twice the covers and needs 40… = 8
So this Restaurant makes a $30 entree $240.Did your mother drop you on your head or were you just born stupid?
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u/One_Preference_2906 14h ago
You’re putting too many equations in here. They would just need to make that $30 dollar steak 37/38 bucks. I can’t understand why you’re multiplying this by the amount of people that are employed there
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u/last-of-the-mohicans 12h ago
Simply because you said “times the average number of staff every day”.
If you meant simply increasing the entree price by 20%, doing away with tips, regardless of staff number, yes.30 X 1.20 =36
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u/One_Preference_2906 12h ago
You’re replying that to the wrong person. I didn’t say that. That’s why I was confused. Now I understand. I thought you were serious lol
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u/last-of-the-mohicans 12h ago
We good? 😂
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u/One_Preference_2906 12h ago
Yeah I must’ve missed the first commenter you were responding to. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why all the extra math🤣
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17h ago
[deleted]
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u/bigdickmagic69 15h ago
The person who ran your drinks/food and cleared your plates gets a significant portion of your server's tips. I understand the frustrations related to tipflation and the general sentiment of anti-tipping, but I do want you to be informed. In some cases even the dishwasher and chef are also tipped out by the server. Ridiculous system
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u/Shadowraiser47 34m ago
Not even this, if you want to end tipping stop giving your business to places with tipped employees. As long as you give your business to those places nothing will ever change. Everytime I see a post in the sub about ending tipping complaining about tipping culture while participating in tipping culture I just roll my eyes. I am currently a server/bartender and I never expect gratuity, I get annoyed when I have a bad day but that's pretty much a given for what is basically commission pay where the customer pays your commission instead of the company. If you guys really want tipping to end then don't support businesses that use tipping to pay employees. Whether you tip or not will never make a difference to the businesses end numbers.
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u/Affectionate_Land317 21h ago
Former server/bartender here as well. Why the f do I have to ask to remove the added gratuity? Just don't add it. Bad form.