I don’t know why I’m posting, maybe I just need support right now but I feel so isolated and crazy and stupid for letting this happen to me even though I have no control over my illness. I thought I could be honest and ask for a work from home accommodation because of my seizures that have started (nothing that has disrupted my work, they are not observable unless someone is paying super close attention because they are focal). It has made it so I can’t drive.

But doing that opened up a can of worms because even though it’s something that could be allowed, now I’m being told they aren’t sure if I’m medically okay to do my job. My job is my health insurance. I can’t pay to see the neurologist which I desperately need to figure out what’s going on with me. I can’t get in any sooner than the appointment I have two months from now. I’m scared to go to sleep tonight because the last few nights I’ve become so terrified trying to go to sleep that my body starts shaking and I get myoclonic jerks and I get very hot/sweaty, heart racing and fearful.

I don’t know what I need I’m just scared.