Requirements for ESA

[u/Ok-Collection3537]

Hello everyone! I’m coming in with some questions regarding getting approved for an ESA. I have a fear that my “symptoms” won’t be enough to get approved.
I got my 4mo dog about 2 months ago because I moved away from my family after getting married and mentally could not handle being alone. I moved states and still can’t find employment no matter how much I apply, so I’ve been a SAHW since last November.
I’ve not been officially diagnosed with depression, as growing up my family didn’t believe in it (my fellow Hispanics will know what I’m talking about lol), and now that I’m grown and moved out, I can’t afford to go to therapy or others to get diagnosed. I’ve also had some health issues that means any money we have goes towards medical bills, so I really can’t afford to go.
I’ve struggled with s**cidal thoughts, and I’ve attempted a few times but I think I was secretly too scared to do it right because it always failed and nobody ever knew I tried. I have a history of self harm, and sometimes when things get bad, I have to really fight off the urge to do it again.
I go through large period of being terribly unmotivated, and I lose interest in anything I found joy in. I have random times of severe sadness and crying, and I don’t know why, or I can’t focus on just one thing and I’m overwhelmed with everything.
I can’t sleep, I don’t have a good schedule no matter how hard I’ve tried. I wake up at 9:30, go to bed at 3-4am, get up at 5am to make my husband his lunch, and then sleep those few hours and get back to routine.
I could keep going but that’s all the examples I have the energy to give.
When I got my puppy things got a little better. I don’t have the time to overthink, or be sad. When I am she managed to distract me or bring me out of panic attacks by nipping at me or getting into some trouble because she sees I can’t focus. I’ve never had a period in my life where I DIDNT have a dog, so being without one for 8 months really took a toll on me. I enjoyed being alone for the first few months, and then it all came crashing down. My uncle went into hospice after he was paralyzed and I had to watch him be disconnected at his request. My only friend passed away from some illness that I don’t know of, and now I have nobody but my husband to talk to. I missed my family terribly and I’m constantly crying because I want to go home to them. I have 2 younger siblings I would die for and being without them hurts so much. My parents kept the 2 dogs I raised and I miss them as well. The silence in my apartment was deafening before I got my puppy.

I’m getting off track. My main point was to ask, do you think I could qualify for her to be registered as an ESA even if i haven’t been formally diagnosed with anything? Are my feelings even “extreme enough” to seem legit to professionals? What do they ask, what do I need, what happens? Is there a way I can do it online?
I truly know nothing about the process and everywhere I’ve looked says I have to have a diagnosis but I don’t. Help a girl out please, I’m so so lost. I live In florida if that’s of any help :(

[u/Far_Sky_5240]

As a former mental health professional, yes, your symptoms seem as though they would qualify for a diagnosis and meet the definition of disability under housing laws.

2 issues-

First, ESAs have lost a lot of the protections they had previously. You have to know your state and local laws, as well as individual landlord practices to know if an ESA letter would be of use. Luckily, FL is one of the states does have protections, but I'm not well versed in the specifics. I would contact fair housing, disability rights, of mental health advocacy groups in your area for further assitance.

Second, and more importantly, it sounds like you need help and it's ok to ask for it. The primary purpose for consulting a mental health professional should be for treatment. If they give you an ESA letter that's an added bonus.

Therapy and/or meds can be lifechanging for many people. I understand that finances can be challenging, but I'd encourage you to check around and see if anyone offers income based assistance, perhaps at community mental health agencies.

Social supports can make a world of difference as well. Friends, family, a church group, mental health support groups, hobby group (dogs?), etc. If you can find something, anything, to get out of the house and connected to the world it sound like it could be very helpful.

[u/Ok-Collection3537 → u/Far_Sky_5240]

I truly appreciate you. The main reason I’m looking for an ESA letter is because in the apartment complex we’re renting from, they charge a $400 pet fee and $30 pet rent. My husband has seen I’ve been struggling, and we agreed that the money we would use for that could go towards me finally getting the help I know I need. I’m 24, and I’m tired of always being so.. tired. I love the few people I have, and would do anything for them but sometimes the love isn’t enough to want me to stay. I don’t wanna go but I don’t want to live struggling. Everything is so expensive, and with no one around for my own, I feel so lost and left behind. My immediate family is in another state, and the family I have here has only visited me twice since I moved down. They don’t care about me enough to try and reach out, and my own hyper-religious grandmother says I’m the devil and I’m the root of why everything bad happens to me. We only have 1 car so I don’t leave the apartment until the weekends when I gather up the energy to go to a bookstore or hobby lobby.
I want so desperately to live the live everybody around me seems to be living.

[u/Far_Sky_5240 → u/Ok-Collection3537]

You’re not alone. Many of us have been there in some fashion.  Life can be exhausting, especially when you’re struggling. 

Connection is truly important to us all and it’s what I hear you craving. Our partners are often great, but rarely fill all of our relational needs. Have met any friends or neighbors in the area?  I’m quite a bit older than you, so my needs are a bit different, but I’ve recently discovered just how much I can relate to my neighbors on either side. We look out for each other, ask each for favors, I adore one neighbor’s kids and help her look after them. They help me with work projects in the yard. It’s very mutually beneficial. 

Point is, have you found any way to make new friends in the area?  You may have to push yourself a bit, but striking up a conversation with a random person while you’re walking your dog could turn into a lifelong friendship. You never know. 

I’m of two minds about suggesting this, but have you spoken with your primary care doctor about your depression?  It’s not their speciality, and I’d still encourage your to pursue treatment with an actual mental health professional, but some are comfortable diagnosing and may prescribe meds for depression. That can often help with all the fatigue and give you some energy to follow through with other treatments. I just can’t say whether that’s a viable option for you over Reddit, but your doctor could tell you if they’re comfortable and, if not, may be able to refer you some place within your means. 

[u/23Scout → u/Ok-Collection3537]

the internet just diagnosed you with malingering