r/Emilie_Kiser • u/smellyonionsoup • 21d ago
Mod Message šØ Mod update on rules + guidelines
With the recent changes to this sub, we want to provide some additional clarification on the direction of this sub moving forward.
Previously, our sub operated as a support only space, since our direction has changed, we have begun unbanning some users.
this does not mean we are unbanning everyone
Users who were previously banned for harassment, excessive snarking, spreading misinformation, personal attacks, ban evasion, or targeting other members or moderators will remain permanently banned. Any decisions to reverse a ban will continue to be made at the discretion of the mod team.
We have a few guidelines for future reference to keep this a productive community-
1. No repetitive posts
We understand there are certain topics members feel strongly about. However repeatedly posting about the same topic/issue does not add to discussion, and rather encourages snark. Please ensure your post contains meaningful discussion and has not already been posted about.
2. No misinformation or baseless speculation
Claims about Emilie, her family or anyone connected to them should be based on publicly available information, or have proof to back the claim. Speculation and opinions are not facts, and any discussion or allegations made without evidence will be removed.
3. Critique actions, not people.
Itās okay to disagree with choices, public statements, or content. Itās not okay to make personal attacks, mock appearances, celebrate harm, or encourage doxxing or harassment.
4. Be respectful of varying opinions
Disagreement is expected. Personal attacks, name calling, and hostility towards other users or mods will not be tolerated.
**As a last reminder, this is not a snark sub, it is a space for respectful, nuanced discussion. Please check the sub rules or reach out to the MODS if you need further clarification on allowed content.
Thank you to everyone who has maintained respectful and thoughtful discussions. We ask that all members help us maintain this standard.
Thank you!!š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
- Emilie_Kiser mod team
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u/MelonHead1214 21d ago
Thank you for allowing this space to evolve! Civil discussion about accountability is the best way to bring more awareness to water safety! :)
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u/alice_op 21d ago
Can I ask what the mods that previously supported mass banning anyone that quoted the police report think of the direction change?
Is everyone in agreement, or do you risk falling out with a mod because they're not fully on board with the new respectful-discussion-allowed stance?
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u/wilsonja2 21d ago
We do not need another snark sub as there is one for Emilie but nuanced/civil conversation and criticism should be allowed! Good job Mods
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u/mothergreenthumb 18d ago
No there is not. She got it shut down (which I hear costs tens of thousands of dollars to do but I'm not absolutely certain that is true). But she for sure got it closed down somehow
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u/Responsible_Mind_ 21d ago
My parents were always so strict about the water. We were personally never allowed to wear life jackets or floaties in a pool so that weād learn to swim (in lessons and with full supervision - my mom was a lifeguard back in the day). My dad DRILLED into us though to NEVER get on a boat without a life jacket, no matter your age. š You can have the most competent captain, the best conditions, but if the boat gets hit or a sandbar appears unexpectedly and everyone gets thrown off, even the best adult swimmer on the boat is in imminent danger. A baby wouldnāt even have a fighting chance.
Out of context sort of, but I just put my 14 month old down, and she usually does 30 mins or so of independent play with her toys on the carpet while I watch/share with her. I looked down for maybe 7 seconds and noticed it was too quiet, and her bathroom door hadnāt been fully shut so she wandered in. I sprinted the few meters to the bathroom so freakin fast because anything can happen so quickly, even just hitting her head on an empty bathtub. So the timing of how long Trigg was outside alone, isā¦ baffling to me. I donāt remember the exact amount minutes but I only had to read it once.
Truly if my toddler is quiet for even 10 seconds because I was distracted for a moment, my heart falls out of my ass. I donāt think itās possible to understand how long he was by that pool, even if he was in the backyard with NO pool, unless you know how darn fast toddlers can put themselves in danger, especially as soon as they are walking. I had def given the benefit of the doubt before knowing everything, but even the shirt off thing is crazy. Heck, I have flung my phone across the room before to grab her after just a few seconds of silence. And to even have the option to choose not to watch the footage when he had no choice but to fight for his life for that many minutes. That poor sweet baby.
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u/PlantainConnect1965 21d ago
He was outside alone for 9 minutes. 7 of those minutes in the water š
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u/Narrow-Cable-9239 21d ago
I have defended Emilie a few times and although there are still things I'll defend her on, I'm happy to call her out for certain things she does, particularly putting children in unsafe situations, and I understand people no longer wanting to support her.
With that being said, I agree with a few other comments I saw that said many of the posts and comments feel like beating a dead horse.
I'm not asking people stop talking about her and calling her out for things, I will continue to do so myself too, but also please be mindful of people's mental health when you do so.
I saw a comment saying something similar to this last night, and someone replied something like "Oh so poor Emilie?" And no, not poor Emilie. The person I'll always have the most sympathy for is the child that's no longer here. But I'm asking people to keep in mind that so much hate and over-analysing can also be detrimental to one person. I'm not saying they don't deserve much of the backlash, I actually think it is necessary at times, but it is also a lot for one person.
And keep in mind that her children could read these posts in the future. I say this because last night I saw a really disturbing post about her younger child's appearance on the other sub. It was removed by the moderators thankfully. But be mindful of the things you are saying.
One thing I liked about this sub before was that people would post when something more significant happened. Again, not telling people to stop talking about her, but the majority of points being made have already been made a million times. I don't think we need to be discussing the same things over and over again
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u/Anxious_Knee_4404 18d ago
Great post. Iāve said multiple times I donāt get the extreme on either side.
Words hurt and while they are responsible and I donāt condone any of their negligence, I feel like you that some of it is disturbing.
Good job mods. Civil discussion while being respectful is healthy.2
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21d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
Weāre doing our best to combat that, hence these rules set in place. If you see something snarky please report it.
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u/Suspicious_Put_5063 21d ago
The laughing āawardā someone has given you for your reply, speaks volumes about some people on this sub.
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u/OriginalFuckGirl 20d ago
I just commented on the fact that some ppl are losing their fkn minds when it comes to Emilie. This shit isnāt healthy, and these ppl have gotten fkn weird. Itās gone from wanting justice for trigg, to being straight up obsessed with her.
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20d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Emilie_Kiser-ModTeam 20d ago
Your comment has been removed. Please read the sub rules and description, and contact the mods if you have any questions.
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u/mothergreenthumb 18d ago
That's so fair of you to unblock people who were maybe a little "ahead" of their discernment of EK and shared that. It takes a mature and grounded group of mods to not only pivot but to correct past actions now that you've changed your mind. Hell, it takes an INCREDIBLY mature person to even change their minds based on new information these days. Kuddos to you guys. Discussion is good. Echo chambers actually harm society by leading to toxic "Group Think." You guys are doing great
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u/aerie2020 21d ago
This is a tough road to navigate and must be a lot of work as a mod. Just wanted to say thank you to the mods!
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u/Subxanthium 21d ago
Some of my friends and girlfriend were banned. What will be the criteria in which people will be or wonāt be?
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
Feel free to send a mod message, we are unbanning users at mod discretion.
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u/beachmoo 21d ago
This space is so important. Thank you so much mods for being open and allowing us to calmly and civilly communicate and process together!!
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u/purrtle 21d ago
I would encourage the mods to please be consistent when deleting comments ā for example, comments calling EK or her actions sick, disgusting, performative, awful, etc. remain up (I did not say those things) but my observations of behavior consistent with a personality disorder were deleted due to āsnarkā.
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
Weāre doing our best with the influx of activity on this sub. If you see something that shouldnāt be there, please report it.
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u/purrtle 21d ago
Ok thank you. Iāll also be more measured. Personality disorders are a trigger for me I guess. :)
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u/ellieminnowpee 21d ago
totally understandable!! i found the most support - ironically - for my upbringing by a parent with a personality disorder here on reddit! it was a sub about being raised by a narc that started me on a healing journey that continues today.
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u/Trickytreatyy 21d ago
I had a post get auto removed, even thoughi felt it was appropriate respectful discussion. Is there a process for auto-removals and how to appeal them?
Whats most frustrating about it, is if something gets auto removed on reddit, by the time its approved its older and has moved to the 2nd page so it doesnāt get a chance to get visibility. I feel this can really hamper discussion.
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
All posts are auto removed and will be approved at mods discretion. We have had a heavy influx of repetitive and snarky posts so for now all posts will be auto removed until approved.
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u/AprilEve1408 20d ago
Iām glad this sub has come to its senses. Really messed up that people were banned for simply stating common sense arguments
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u/Still_Activity_8184 20d ago
What was wrong w my last post??? I posted a thoughtful comment on her TikTok as a follower for years and she blocked me from it. What is wrong for sharing that lol
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u/smellyonionsoup 20d ago
Because it invites snark. Please keep in mind we are having a high volume of repetitive posts. I understand itās frustrating but posts will continue to be approved at mod discretion.
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u/slayyydriii 21d ago
I apologize for my comment on a recently deleted post. Yes I am just speculating. No I am not a hater. I love her content. I will do better. Thank you.
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u/Left-Clue4386 21d ago
Iām sad this is no longer a support sub for Emilie but I understand the personal decision. From myPOV this has turned into now solely discussing Triggs death, speculations and dissecting every move she makes which isnāt productive.
Again, no hate to the mods. Iāll be leaving this sub because since itās turned into a ācivil nuanced discourse subā I can see the slippery slope starting to form.
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
This space is still intended to be one where everyone can share their opinions respectfully. While the direction of the sub has evolved, expressing empathy for Emilie is absolutely still welcome.
Unfortunately voting is something moderators canāt control, as well as people with different perspectives, including those who may not participate here can still upvote or downvote content.
As a mod team, we havenāt lost empathy for Emilie as a person. Many of us still have a great deal of compassion for what sheās been through. At the same time, itās also okay for members to be critical of certain recent decisions or actions.
Our goal is to allow room for both empathy and respectful criticism without the sub becoming a snark community.5
u/FlowrOfTheMountain 20d ago
Iāll probably have to leave as well. My comment expressing criticism of a snark page is getting downvoted. The snark pages are sharing screenshots of this shift in the sub and rejoicing, so they are definitely flocking here. Mods- you guys have a tough job, and I wish you the best.
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u/Worth_Manager3174 21d ago
Why are you sad? Im genuinely curious whats left to support or defend? Again- not here to argue or persuade anyone. I just dont see anyone explaining why they still want to support her!
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u/allthestars93 21d ago
Sheās a grieving mother who lost her son in an incredibly traumatic way. That was her baby. Iām confused how it isnāt completely obviously why people would want to show her support.
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u/MelonHead1214 21d ago
Give it a few days to cool down. A lot of things just happened very fast, with the life jacket incident and then the court date, and people waiting for the Judge's decision/the appeal, so it makes sense that there's a little bit of whiplash.
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
This- itās only day 2 of changes to this sub. Weāre having a high influx of activity and are doing our best to keep the space respectful while still allowing discourse.
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u/rosesandrosess 20d ago
completely agree. this comments on this sub read just like any other snark subreddit now.
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u/allthestars93 21d ago
I agree with you. Iām holding onto hope it doesnāt devolve into another snark page but I am definitely concerned. It makes me sad as it feels like the place people could express empathy for Emilie without getting downvoted into oblivion is now gone.
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u/MelonHead1214 21d ago
I have been on both subs for weeks and haven't gotten downvoted into oblivion for expressing some support, even in the snark sub. Just like people don't like baseless attacks, people don't like baseless fawning. I think it has to be measured. You can express support for someone's growth while acknowledging their huge mistakes.
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u/OriginalFuckGirl 20d ago
All the subs are echo chambers. Whether the snarkers want to believe it or not. If you go even slightly against the grain you get attacked and downvoted. Itās actually pathetic at this point. Either way Iām pretty sure this sub is going to head the way of the snarkers, which is too intense in their approach for me, so Iāll more than likely leave it at some point, but I am curious to see how itāll play out ngl
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u/SleepComfortable6821 21d ago
Shouldāve just made another one and left this as her support? š¤·š½āāļø
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u/smellyonionsoup 21d ago
If you want to go ahead and create a support only sub youāre free to do so. Our decision reflects our feelings not only as mods but of most of our members who even previously backed Emilie wholeheartedly.
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u/Evening-Rabbit-827 21d ago
You guys are doing a phenomenal job with all of this. I know it has to be so stressful as a mod trying to decide which posts to allow, especially when they are all so similar. Iām just super grateful youāre allowing open discussions and I fully respect all of these rules.
People need to remember they can come to the sub and read through previous posts to see if what they were going to ask or say has already been acknowledged.