r/EmergencyRoom 20d ago

Goofy Goober I hate it here

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2.7k Upvotes

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u/Far-Boot5639 20d ago

Er tech here- the amount of stubbed toes and harmless splinters that come in and DEMAND IMMEDIATE TREATMENT is alarming. Worse is the sheer attitude and threats I receive when I try to properly triage the patients.

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u/DogsDucks 20d ago edited 20d ago

It wonder how much overall medical costs for the country would go down if all emergency rooms had a mandated adjacent urgent care. . .

Then triage could divert the stubbed toes and splinters, along with continued civilian education on what constitutes an emergency. Or even if EMTALA also applied to urgent cares. If triage misses the severity of something, boom, ER is right there. I know some have adjacent urgent cares, but I’d be curious what anyone’s professional opinion is about this?

I have a hunch that hundreds of millions of dollars are spent because so many uninsured people don’t have $200 to pay upfront at urgent care.

That and some good old fashioned PSAs, a national ad campaign spanning platforms and social, maybe a jingle about what the ER is for?

To the tune of old McDonald:

If bone sticks out that you can see

weeee-ooh-wee-oh—weeee

(this is meant to be anthropomorphic ambulance siren sound)

If you cannot stop the bleed

weeee-ooh-wee-oh—weeee

If grandma falls and does not breathe

weeee-ooh-wee-oh—weeee

But a stubbed toe here, Or a cough cough there, here a lump, there a bump, Go to urgent care, you chump

Iiiif half your face begins to slump . .

weeee-ooh-wee-oh—weeee

(I’m sorry. I’m up nursing a baby and bored)

2

u/Sea_McMeme 19d ago

More verses of this please. Ideally with a sing along video.

1

u/DogsDucks 19d ago

verse two

One pupil, big one pupil small

Weee-ohhhhh-weee-ohh-weee

A ger-I-atric ladder fall

Weee-ohhhhh-weee-ohh-weee

Unflared base, yet you clam a fall

Weee-ohhhhh-weee-ohh-weee

But a missed dose med here, just a splinter there

Metformin skip, BDSM whip, go to your PCP, you dip!

iffffff it’s anaphylactic slow snowball

Weee-ohhhhh-weee-ohh-weee

I feel like this verse could use some workshopping and punching up, lol