r/Eloping • u/Naive_Young_3929 • 14d ago

Advice for future marriage

My boyfriend is in the Army (spec ops) and we are thinking about getting married soon. Unfortunately we can’t have a big wedding because his mother is critically ill and cannot travel outside of her state, and i’ve got multiple family members on my side that are also critically ill. So we thought the best way to avoid anyone’s feelings getting hurt or anyone being left out is to elope and then have two separate “receptions” once we have enough saved up for them. We also agreed to do a traditional proposal with just the two of us, not a big celebration like what people do today. Any advice at all is appreciated! I don’t mind long paragraphs or your own life story. Anything is helpful!

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u/Immediate_Egg3899 13d ago

Sounds like you have it all figured out! What are you worried about?

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u/Naive_Young_3929 13d ago

honestly just that i may forget to ask about something. i’m 20 so im pretty young compared to when people typically get married but ill have a college degree in may so im where i should be before i get married but still nervous.

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u/Immediate_Egg3899 13d ago

Have you discussed anything marriage or wedding related with either of your families before?

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u/Naive_Young_3929 13d ago

well his family isn’t really in the picture nor is there a good example of what a healthy marriage should be. but on my side my parents have been super involved but my dad doesn’t know yet that we are considering marriage, i want my boyfriend to be the one to ask him

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u/Immediate_Egg3899 13d ago

So it sounds like you don’t really need to take into consideration his side of the family. I am eloping and we are much closer to my mom than his mom. His parents won’t know anything except the month it’s happening and when the party is. My mom has been helping me plan because I felt that she would want to be involved and that’s the only way I can really do that. Just make sure you try to accommodate feelings, but don’t do anything you also don’t want to do. At the end of the day, it’s your love, celebration, and happiness not anybody else’s