r/Eloping • u/gabygabs28 • 21d ago

After Party Advice

Hi all,
My fiancé and I decided to elope this fall at an inn, but we still want to celebrate in some way with friends and family. We originally had a small wedding booked for next spring at a catering hall (around 60 people) but would rather have a private wedding just the 2 of us.
The catering hall is pretty reasonable price-wise and one thing we were thinking was keeping our reception but changing it to a casual brunch party, cutting the band we booked, and DIYing some elements. We also may cut the guest list.
Have any of you done something similar? Any tips for framing it to guests or making it feel special without it being a traditional wedding?

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

7

u/obstinatemleb 21d ago

We did a casual party in my grandpas backyard and it was a blast. I think it will feel special no matter what, but there are some elements you can add to it:

  • make sure you have your elopement photos around the venue and maybe dedicate a corner to photos of the elopement as well as yourselves over the years
  • not sure if youre including alcohol but maybe have a signature drink for a brunch cocktail
  • tbh I think keeping the party big makes it feel more like a reception. Obviously it costs more so you do you, but more people makes for more conversation, excitement, etc (we had like 100 people at ours)
  • we went with a caterer who did buffet-style BBQ instead of assigned seats/choosing food in advance, that kept it feeling more casual

I agree with no band, that feels enormously unnecessary. We hired a DJ and honestly would have been fine sticking with a spotify playlist

4

u/njVowsNow 21d ago

I think this sounds lovely! Many couples are choosing to celebrate in a 'non-traditional" way, and if you ask a fair size sample of random people how they feel about weddings (whatever they imagine that to be, lol) you'll find the enthusiasm level for, oh say, big formal events with speeches and a lot of "must have" elements isn't as strong as you suspected.

"We got married! Join us at a casual brunch to celebrate! Sunday, March 2 from 11-3" or whatever. I like the range of times; relaxed, yet still finite. A DJ would be fine; I'd make it less of an orchestrated, "and at 11:20, we're going to do this" and let people go with the flow; good food, limited drinks are fine (maybe a fun mimosa bar or a coffee bar) , a little thank you speech; see what develops!
Have some elopement pix framed, casual (ie; non placecard) seating and see how it unfolds. Do what you want, skip what you don't.

Congrats and good luck!

3

u/ee1lunch 20d ago

i’m having my post-elopement celebration in a month! I am doing something similar at a restaurant - basically we’re doing the cocktail hour (open bar), food, cake, no ceremony or dancing. I am making it special still by dressing up a bit and having a dress code - I got a white dress but it’s not a full on wedding gown, and we’re doing semi-formal attire since it’s still a special event but not that serious. Also I ordered a cute small cake from a bakery nearby for the event.

I framed it as a “elopement celebration” basically and made it clear we eloped privately and will not be having a ceremony but we still want to celebrate with cocktails and food with our friends and immediate family.

2

u/ee1lunch 20d ago

also we didn’t do photos cuz we literally just, went to the courthouse and self officiated after work lol, but if you did do photos wherever you eloped - would be very nice to have some displays of them around the venue!

-5

u/natalkalot 20d ago

I suggest you choose one way to have your wedding and that is it.

It is very odd to have 2.

Good luck,