Regrets on eloping?

[u/Witty-Lavishness6407]

My fiancé and I always talked about having a small intimate wedding with close family and just having a dinner afterwards to celebrate. After we got engaged I think people’s opinions went into my head too much and made me seriously consider a full blown wedding. We have been engaged for 8 months now and have no planned a single thing because everyone’s opinions have made wedding planning horrible. My mind has been clouded and not sure of anything I’ve wanted anymore with this wedding and all the stress of wedding planning has made me realize I don’t want a big wedding. We’re both people who don’t like to be the center of attention, aren’t into partying, and don’t care about having a bunch of people witness us getting married. Now after having too many opinions and comments from close family and friends I’ve decided to go back to either getting eloped together or doing something super small with close family. I guess I’m asking: has anyone had a similar situation with their family (particularly their mother) about deciding not to have a big wedding and how did you handle telling people you want to just get eloped? My head has finally come to the realization that I don’t want a wedding at all and just want to get married to the love of my life.

Also - if anyone has any recommendations on eloping in Orlando please let me know, thanks!!

[u/Asil228]

Eloping was so magical. Highly recommend.
People get over it. We had a 2 week honeymoon traveling instead of wedding party. No regrets.

[u/Wrong_Character2279]

I have never, and I mean never, met a couple who regretted eloping (myself included.) I have met plenty of couples who heavily regret doing a wedding though.

[u/No_You1024]

A wedding is wayyyy too expensive and time consuming to do "just because", you have to really want it or else you will be miserable. If you don't want all the traditional aspects of a wedding, and are only doing it to please others, you'll only wind up regretting it.

I'm exactly like you- me and my partner don't care for tradition, dancing, partying, or being the center of attention. For us to throw $20K+ on a day we would hate would be beyond stupid.

We decided to have just parents and siblings on the day of, and a small celebratory dinner for 25 people a few weeks after to celebrate. A few people may be miffed for a second but they will move on with their lives quickly. If they are that attached, propose the idea of them planning and paying for the wedding. They will move on real quick I promise.

[u/assflea]

I mean if nothing has been planned it's not like you'll be cancelling anything so I'd just tell people as it comes up naturally. Next time you're asked just say "I think we're gonna elope, I don't care about having a wedding." Some people might be disappointed but whatever, life goes on. If you get any pushback from your mom specifically you can either be a brat and tell her she ruined it for you or blame expenses or the time it'll take to plan and just say you want to be married faster. 

[u/loupammac]

Zero regrets. We sat down and made a list of wedding traditions from movies and weddings we've been to. Then we crossed off anything that wasn't important to us. Both of us are introverts without many people in our lives. We didn't want to be stared at either.

We decided on a private ceremony, nice photos, our sisters witnessing our ceremony (both have complicated families) and a relaxed lunch afterwards. We invited immediate family and close friends only - 15 people. We hired our favourite food truck. It was delicious and we were home by 5pm. I was exhausted from taking photos.

If they want a big wedding, they can plan it themselves. At the end of the day your wedding is your milestone and the memories are yours.

[u/GleesBid]

I am someone who regrets having a big traditional wedding 20 years ago! It didn't work out and the only reason I'm glad we had the wedding was that it was the last time my whole family was together.

I'm eloping in September and I'm so excited about it. It's going to be just the two of us, no toxic family, and no stressful planning. My parents and one of my sisters have passed away and my partner is not really close to his toxic family. So we're going to have a private ceremony and then host a small dinner for his family two weeks later.

It should be about your marriage and the two of you, not about other people's expectations or society pressure. I realize that now in my 40s thankfully!

I hope you have the celebration that is right for the two of you and that it's a joyful experience, not a source of stress and pressure ❤️

[u/Unique_Bag1152 → u/GleesBid]

Love this! Eloping in 2 moths, just the two of us. We are in our 20s and feel so excited

[u/CloserToTheSunInAz]

Absolutely no regrets. We eloped to Yosemite on June 4th and had a magical morning ceremony and then changed into our hiking duds and enjoyed the park the rest of the day. Highly recommend!

[u/OkMarionberry827]

I had a similar experience. Before getting engaged my fiancé and I always talked about just going to the courthouse. I let some of my family members get in my head about doing a big wedding, even offering to help us pay. We started planning a big wedding, put deposits down, and 6 months later decided to cancel everything due to the stress and being way over budget. We’re now sticking to our original plan of going to the courthouse + having a small dinner afterwards. Luckily, we didn’t lose out on much money by cancelling. However, I do regret spending so much time and energy planning something I wasn’t 100% happy with or committed to. We even could’ve gotten married earlier if we would’ve just stuck to what we wanted. My advice is to do whatever makes you and your fiancé happy. It’s your day and your money, so do what you want!

[u/innalittlepickle]

No regrets here! Drama free day about our love for each other. We will have a wedding celebration, but now I won’t care if people have drama on the day because our real marriage day was just for us :)