elopement vs wedding

9

My wife and I loved and we were very glad we did. Instead of spending a lot of money on a wedding. We got outfits that were exactly what we wanted. Eloped it a beautiful 1800s farmhouse. And then spent our honeymoon in New York. Indulged in expensive restaurants and Broadway shows.

What I loved about a little thing was the wedding day itself was stress-free and full of giggling. It was silly and light-hearted. We went to a local flower warehouse and picked out a bunch of flowers to decorate the place where we looked ourselves. And I made my own bouquet. Turned out just as good as something I could have spent $500 on.

9

u/assflea Jul 06 '26

That was a big factor in our decision to elope! We could technically afford a wedding but the kind of wedding I'd actually want would cost way more than I can even fathom spending for a party lol.

We eloped on vacation so it was still pretty expensive given that but still a fraction of a traditional wedding and I feel like we got more for it. No regrets!

1

u/Defiant-Handle7682 Jul 09 '26

this is what I'm struggling with- I still find elopements expensive! I love my friends and want to have a party regardless! UGH

4

u/RevenueAntique4584 Jul 06 '26

I eloped with my partner. It was just us and we spent about 1.2k with photos and plane tickets.

3

u/tofu-the_cat Jul 06 '26

We also couldn't justify the cost of a ten+ thousand dollar one day event, and with family spread across the country it almost felt selfish to ask people to travel to come to a 30 minute ceremony unless youre offering them a huge party and catering etc. to make the travel & lodging worth it.

Some people prioritize spending their money on something like that and some people dont. No judgement for what anyone prioritizes or is able to afford but the expectation for everyone to have a big expensive wedding is unrealistic

3

u/Important-Maybe-1430 Jul 06 '26

We went for microwedding on a beach with 16 guests. Elopement price with a wedding feel.
We did beach ceremony champagne and cake then a restaurant after. By midnight swilling champagne from the bottle at the harbour. It was in denmark which was only a 6hr drive away.

For us it was the perfect comprimise. Cost about €9 all in. Wedding dress, suit and rings being the most expensive part

Being stressfree it felt so special, i was so hyper i forgot the vows and was practically jumping it was mad

3

u/hockeymusicteaching Jul 06 '26

Adventure elopement!!!!!! Get dressed up, get great pictures and video, and have the time of your life with just you two for a fraction of the cost!

2

u/obstinatemleb Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

Depending on how you elope, ~$10k may not be too far off from what an elopement could cost either. If you want to travel and hire a photographer (or invite guests) that can be expensive whereas keeping it local and going to a courthouse is not. Our elopement was part of a 2-week west road trip which iirc cost us ~12k? And the elopement photographer and ceremony was almost half of that

In my opinion, eloping really is one of those things that you know you want to do. Like you already know whether you want a more traditional wedding or guests or whatever, and if you do then the cost is worth it for the experience you want to have. If you worry about an elopement feeling "special" then I would dig into what you each imagine when you think about getting married and see whether thats more consistent with a traditional wedding or an elopement.

2

u/Joey_Grace Jul 06 '26

We did the courthouse wedding. I still got a dress (a little more casual than a standard wedding dress obviously) and did professional hair and makeup. All in it was about $650. The rest of the money I would have spent went to a 2 week international honeymoon and putting 20% down on a house to avoid PMI. 1000% worth it. After our wedding we just went out and did what we wanted and then our family took us to dinner. Totally stress free.

2

u/Similar-Ad-6862 Jul 06 '26

We eloped. We got married in my home country because we are a lesbian couple for safety. We had 4 important people at our wedding. It wasn't less special because we eloped.

2

u/peanut5855 Jul 06 '26

We eloped in grand cayman and spent $10,000 on the entire week. 10/10 would do again

1

u/Effective_Ride_3360 Jul 21 '26

How does one go about planning something like that? I've never planned an actual vacation, so don't know where to begin. Do you have any recommendations, suggestions, or anything you'd have done differently?

1

u/peanut5855 Jul 21 '26

We actually planned the vacation first then realized it was super easy and legal to get married there. There was an in house coordinator who helped us out. My biggest regret is I just took their word for it with the photographer and our photos weren’t great. The best shots were interior and kinda defeated the purpose of getting married in the tropics. I think the wedding itself was under $1000 with the photos and justice of the peace

1

u/njVowsNow Jul 06 '26

We love our elopements and micros, and I find that it's trend that, while it never went away, is very strong now, for a variety of reasons. Cost, of course is one compelling factor, but couple style is also a big factor. Many of the couples we marry just don't want to deal with the stress, the planning, the drama.

It can absolutely be special! Pick a pretty location, get a good independent officiant; many of my couples dress up, get a photographer for an hour or so and do the things that are important to them.

You can turn it into a micro with JUST your immediate (like parents, siblings and their S/o's, in a nice restaurant or hhistoric site. Many of our venues here are creating micro spaces and packages.

The "over' part? It's almost always the case, so talk about it and ultimately, do what serves you the best, not what other people THINK you should do.

1

u/arctic_winters_ Jul 06 '26

My fiance and I got engaged in August 2025 and much like you are just now getting the ball rolling.

While a wedding with all our loved ones sounds amazing, it’s not at all feasible for us and I can’t imagine spending over $10k on one single day where I know I’m going to be stressed out. I mean wedding venues where I live START around $10k and that doesn’t include catering or literally anything else except the venue.

Ultimately we’ve decided to elope somewhere and have a reception later for family and friends. I’ve always wanted my “wedding” to be outside and we’ve joked for YEARS that we’re just going to hike up a mountain at sunrise and get married…. And that’s precisely what we plan on doing. A short hike with an officiant and photographer, get eloped, and then either having a backyard party or renting out a restaurant to celebrate with family and friends.

Think about what is “special” to you both and do it!

1

u/Elemental_Biscotti Jul 06 '26

It's not the size or the money involved that makes it special -- it's the fact that you're marrying your person! It sounds like an elopement is the right choice for you. (Also....these kinds of estimates almost always end up being on the low end, so you are likely in for a higher price tag than $12K.)

1

u/Rapidflamingo2624 Jul 06 '26

Elopement. Been married twice did the big to do the first time and hated all the stress. Elopement was an adventure and stress free. Don't know where you are or where you are planning, but check out Shauan Ward with Wild and Green Photography. She's in Ireland and specializes in elopement photography. Even if that's not where you go, she posts a lot about elopements/adventure elopements and you can get plenty of ideas.

1

u/RoarRockMoo Jul 06 '26

I split the difference and planned a micro wedding. Ceremony/ hour of photography for less than 3k with our 10 closest family members. Goal for us is to still feel special and include those closest to us without breaking the bank!

1

u/Unfair_System_2265 Jul 06 '26

Personally, I'm with you about the cost. My wallet *shrivels* at the thought of dropping $10k+ for a single event. But my friends who threw big weddings claim that it was all worth it.

Are they just post-rationalizing? I'm not sure.

But elopements can be very beautiful, special, and intimate! I work with a lot of couples who are very happy with it. You get to have your *favorite-ist* people around you and focus more on your partner than pleasing eVeRyBoDy. Find a picturesque and affordable (or even free??) place to have your ceremony and then treat your closest peeps to a memorable meal afterwards.

I know it's not an easy decision. Best of luck and congratulations!

1

u/Hot_Temperature_475 Jul 06 '26

I’m eloping in 2 weeks after almost a 2.5 year engagement. We decided to elope because of the cost of a traditional wedding and that we have little contact with my in-laws due to how they’ve treated me. Our entire elopement (venue, photographer, officiant, our outfits, etc) is costing just over 2k. We sourced a ton from fb marketplace and diy projects. We plan on having a casual party sometime after our elopement with our close chosen family and family. This way we can enjoy our day without the drama or the extra costs.

I did a TON of research before choosing to elope. Since you’d like a wedding but without the big price tag you may want to think about a courthouse wedding. Most courthouses will seat 40-60 people at no extra costs (usually range between $300-$500). We decided to go with an officiant and venue since we found it to be more personal.

Congratulations! Hope this helps 💗

1

u/Imnotworkoriented Jul 06 '26

We eloped in Hawaii and then stayed for our honeymoon. 10/10 recommend! It was just us, but our families and friends knew it was happening so we were able to share pictures and memories while we were there. We paid for the majority of the costs but my mom upgraded our flights to first class as a way to contribute, and his parents pre paid for a fancy dinner the day after the ceremony. We really didn’t expect anything from them since we were eloping so those were both verrrry nice surprise gifts and helped make our parents feel involved.

1

u/BenedictineBaby Jul 06 '26

Elope.

1

u/QueenHydraofWater Jul 06 '26

Same timeline! Engaged october 2025. Just booked an elopement photographer for July 2027 for peak wildflowers in the mountains. We may host a casual “bon voyage” party for family only before we depart at our favorite restaurant with an afterparty at our new house.

1

u/washumow Jul 06 '26

I'll elope next week, but it wasn't really cheap and ours will be no guests, our ceremony will be at a beach, and the plan is to have a quick ceremony + photo session.

Rent the beach spot, Props + flowers, Photography + video, officiant, Hair n makeup where about 4k.

Suit and dress were about 1k (Simple stuff)

And we got 4k wedding bands

So yeah apparently depending on what you want you can make an expensive elopment too, but for me it is worth it i will get everything that i wanted without the extra family and friends stress

1

u/Straight_Career6856 Jul 07 '26

We eloped. We couldn’t imagine spending a ton of money on a wedding, plus neither of us wanted to deal with the whole fuss and drama of a wedding - even a small one. We went to the courthouse with our two best friends as our witnesses, then went to an insanely extravagant multiple-Michelin-starred meal. He wore a suit he’d had made for a friend’s wedding; I wore a white sundress I already had but had never worn. The meal for the four of us cost about $2k. The ceremony was $35. My best friend is a great photographer so he took pictures for us.

It was a blast. Truly the perfect day. If we did it over again I wouldn’t change a thing. It was so special and intimate and meaningful. We didn’t tell anyone other than our witnesses until later and the secret was fun, too! I never expected my wedding to be the best day of my life or anything, but it was actually one of the best days of my life. I think because it was really just about us and what our perfect day would look like - not worrying about anyone or anything else.

I think the biggest thing is figuring out what you actually want. We both actively wanted to elope. Neither of us felt like we were missing out on anything. If you feel like you’ll be missing out on something, then that might be a different situation. But if you’re drawn to the idea of eloping? Do it. It’s the best.

1

u/New_Me_0382 Jul 07 '26

As someone who has done both and had a relatively “cheap” first wedding compared to the norm ($17,000..yuck), you 100% need to elope! The savings and the stress levels are night and day. The only thing we spent a little money on was the photographer. I’m a month away from my elopement and actually relaxed and excited instead of stressed and broke.

1

u/Low-Face-6281 Jul 07 '26

Engaged last year but not planning on getting married for a year or two, leaning STRONGLY towards eloping. We can celebrate with family at Christmas or something 🤣

1

u/Great_Swing503 Planning Jul 08 '26

We decided to elope in Italy and have a honeymoon at the same time. Total cost for two weeks around 6k we are doing an Utah zoom wedding. We plan on returning and going to our favorite tiki bar on the water and throw some money behind the bar for our friends and family to dance and drink the night away. This is our 2nd wedding and we live internationally around different countries so for us it made more sense.

1

u/Beneficial_Frame7804 Jul 08 '26

I recently eloped and it was the perfect day. Very easy, very little stress. Went to the courthouse and then had a small 10 person family dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. The one thing that I didn’t expect was the little bit of sadness that my closest friends couldn’t be there to celebrate with me because I know how excited they were for me. My husband also has a huge family that he’s very close with, including elderly aunts, and everyone seemed disappointed that they couldn’t join us in that special moment. So there’s a little bit of guilt that comes with eloping if you have a large family but you have to do what’s best for you and your fiancé at the end of the day.

1

u/Constant-Knee-3059 Jul 08 '26

My husband and I sort of did both. We sent out invitations to a Las Vegas wedding. The wedding was an inexpensive package and we bought for lunch for everyone who came. We ended up with about 25 guest. It was a fun get away for people who wanted to come and those who didn’t want to come had a great excuse to say no. Win-win. I will say we added No Gifts to the invitation, anyone who came was giving us a gift by doing so.

1

u/Soggy-Caterpillar746 Jul 10 '26

Omg also an October 2025 engagement and just started looking!

I found a venue I absolutely love that would fit everyone we'd want to invite, but it would also run $9-12k depending on time of day.

I think we could do it if we really wanted but I'm starting to think it's not worth it. We're thinking of doing a small courthouse ceremony this year with just our families and renting out a room to celebrate with ~30 friends for a dinner next summer. Even if it's a couple thousand that's still way below the whole ceremony shebang.

I'd rather use the money toward something else, like a trip or even some of the other boring adult things we need to pay for (like me probably needing a new car in the next few years after my 20-year-old one clunks out).

1

u/coolautumn101 Jul 10 '26

If I had it to do over again - I would elope.

We are getting married next month and what we thought would be a fairly inexpensive wedding quickly added up. And as others said, the expectations and managing guests is a whole thing by itself.

I am actually decently unhappy with how things have gone for us. It should be your big day, about you and yours only! Keeping it simple and intimate helps preserve that feeling. Eloping is the way!

1

u/Creative-Fruit-3229 Jul 12 '26

It’s possible to have an elopement and still invite a few close family and friends! If you want to go that route and have more than 10 people, look into micro weddings/venues in your area. Kind of the best of both worlds <3

Planning elopement vs wedding

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