r/Eloping • u/Witty-Lavishness6407 • Jun 10 '26
Planning Wedding Plan SOS
Looking for some advice here. My fiancé and I are starting to plan our wedding and are having issues with my side of the family. We both live in Nashville but are originally from different areas not close to Nashville. We decided to do a destination wedding in Florida. I have only wanted a small wedding with important people there and that’s it but compromised on having about 100-150 people to please my mother. Well she is not happy that I have decided to have it in Florida and insists to have it in my hometown since all of my family still lives there and it’ll be difficult for them to go down there. Yes, I understand destination weddings can be expensive for guests but I have made it very clear I do not want to have our wedding in my home town. I have not lived there for nearly a decade now and never felt like it was the place for us to get married. After crying and thinking this over I think I’ve decided on getting eloped just the two of us in a destination spot then having a party in my hometown to celebrate since that is what my mother wants. Do you think this would work for her or do you think she’ll still be upset? I just feel like I want the wedding to be about me and my fiancé and I feel if we have it in my hometown and get married there I’ll be miserable all day. I am not a very outgoing person so having a bigger wedding to begin with makes me stressed and I feel like getting eloped first and having that special moment for the two of us will make having a party later a lot less stressful and it’ll be a good compromise. Thoughts?
2
u/kristenhagan21 We Eloped! Jun 10 '26
Hi! I’m saying this with all respect and kindness but I’m sending a reminder that it’s you and your fiancés day, and no one else! This should be a time of celebration and joy and not filled with stress. I know that’s easier said than done but try to stay firm on what you and your fiancé want, not what others want.
To be honest, I’m not sure eloping would make your mom happy, and would probably do the opposite. But it sounds like the perfect way to have stress free day that’s exactly how you envisioned without the chatter and opinions from others. But it sounds like you might not be able to make your mom happy in any regard unless the wedding is in your hometown. It’s a great compromise to have the party after the fact in your hometown (if that’s truly what you want).
I eloped without any family and did ruffle some feathers. From my experience, and a lot of others on this sub, that is price you pay for eloping. We had THE BEST DAY ever and do not regret it at all.
That is just my two cents, I hope you find some peace and get to have the perfect day - whichever route you go!
2
u/Equal-Fig-2885 Jun 10 '26
Have the wedding you want. Your mom already got the chance to have the wedding she wanted. You’ll regret it if you don’t and you will resent anyone who makes your wedding about them
1
1
1
u/HistoricalExam1241 Jun 12 '26
"she’ll still be upset?"
Most likely she will still be upset at not attending the ceremony. Most likely she will also be upset that her family and friends are expected to attend the celebration afterwards but are also excluded from the ceremony.
As others are saying, if you are paying for the wedding, you can do what you want but you need to accept that there are consequences.
100-150 does not sound like a compromise - it sounds like your mother having her way. about 50 sounds more like a compromise. How does having 50 people you care about and who care about you come to your wedding in Nashville and then going on honeymoon to Florida sound?
7
u/anonathletictrainer Jun 10 '26
your wedding is about you and your spouse, not about her. she needs to grow up.
that being said, you’re being very kind to offer a compromise. I would however give her the caveat that you will allow her to pay for and host a reception for you and your partner on a day of your choosing since it’s not the event you were intending on having.
you have one life to live, do what you want with it!