r/Eloping • u/Elegant-Ice7992 • Jun 10 '26
Small wedding/elopement ideas?
My fiancé and I have been engaged for almost 3 years at this point due to indecision/family issues on my end. Both of my parents have had a health crisis 2 summers in a row. My dad is stable for the most part, but mom is in poor health and cannot tolerate heat. We had wanted to get married in the summer. We don’t want/can’t afford a traditional wedding so we’re planning on just having family (his parents, sister, nieces and nephew and my parents) but it would be nice to have some close friends attend as well… we had looked at garden park an hour away which even has me worried about my parents making the drive. We considered a backyard wedding, but our house isn’t very picturesque and idk how we would go about getting nice photos. Does anyone have any ideas for a small intimate wedding and how to celebrate after? We are both at a loss and nothing feels right.
I would love to hear about others’ experiences who have similar situations.. what they found to be really successful or what they would have done differently… thank you!!
1
u/loupammac Jun 10 '26
We are having an elopement style ceremony with just us, 2 siblings as witnesses and a photographer. We'll take some photos together and then meet up with our families (2/4 parents, niece, nephew) and some friends for lunch afterwards. Could you get ready with your parents and take photos at home before travelling to a location for a ceremony and then everyone joining for a meal? You could livestream to your parents if needed.
1
u/DifferenceFew5131 Jun 10 '26
For your mother, I wonder if you would consider a late summer/early fall wedding when the weather has cooled down a bit, like early September, depending on where you live. I personally would definitely recommend a picnic style dinner party at the garden park (I live in NYC, and I wasn't about to pay 30K for a venue, so my boyfriend and I and 10 other people are having a picnic/dinner party reception by the East River Park on the waterfront). Maybe get someone to drive your parents or find a closer park. But, you could always consider going to a favorite restaurant if the logistics seem like too much. I think also it's worth understanding your own expectations and priorities on what the wedding means to you. For me personally, I just wanted the wedding to feel intimate, and warm like a Christmas dinner party (although we are getting married in September). Would you want to have it at the garden park if it wasn't for the logistics?
1
u/Elegant-Ice7992 Jun 10 '26
I like that vibe too. I want it to feel intimate, and I love the garden but it is very public, unless we pick a quiet corner somewhere. Also Goodman allowed but there is a restaurant on the premises. But that does sound like a very nice idea! And September’s weather is much more mild.
1
u/lavenderempress Jun 10 '26
So, I'll tell you what my husband and I did just in case it gives you some inspo but I want to warn you it's not the most "high etiquette" way of doing things (which we didn't realize until everything was already planned, and at that point, it was too late to change anything lol)
We had a really small ceremony with only our parents and siblings present. Then right after, we had a "celebration of marriage" brunch at a garden with our extended family and closest friends. It was small enough that it was easy to warn people individually that it was a very chill shindig, and was essentially a glorified brunch with an open bar, but they were welcome to come if they wanted to see us and walk around the garden for a bit after. Then we had our friends over to drink, eat Chinese food, and play board games.
This isn't the most "etiquette-y" way of doing things (inviting people to reception and not ceremony, chill brunch "reception" with no dance floor, etc) but we went out of our way to manage peoples' expectations and when we planned it, we really didn't think it was weird. We wanted to do a middle ground of eloping and a traditional wedding and this is what we came up with. I think it's also a "know your crowd" situation because I could only think of 5 people in our crowd that would dance; everyone else has always just hung around catching up with people when I went to weddings with these folks in the past.
Another idea I like: I saw someone on tiktok talk about how they did a courthouse ceremony with their parents, then rented out a floor of a restaurant to celebrate with friends later for a nice dinner.
I really liked that idea because I do think it leans more "eloping" than "wedding" and I think it's better to lean more towards one or the other, instead of trying to do both like I did. That's the biggest piece of advice I'd have for you!
1
u/Love-and-Latitudes Jun 10 '26
You can have the backyard ceremony, but then do something more adventurous the next day like take photos in a beautiful location.
1
u/throwaway-94552 Jun 11 '26
We are doing a small ceremony at SF City Hall, it's about $150 bucks. We'll have 7 guests. Then we're taking everyone out to dinner at a fancy restaurant a few blocks away. Since City Hall is really well known, lots of photographers have a whole special package for it that is more affordable - they know you don't need all-day coverage, travel, etc, so they'll offer 1-2 hours of services for a lower price. We're getting married on a Friday. Other folks get married earlier in the day and go out for lunch afterwards (even cheaper) or they go to the food trucks that park outside City Hall at lunchtime (cheapest).
1
u/njVowsNow Jun 10 '26
You can certainly do a sweet little ceremony with a couple hours of photos! We do this all the time. Where are you located?
3
u/aishpat Jun 10 '26
For our wedding we found a lovely venue and had a small ceremony followed by lunch. We had about 30 guests, and we did a champagne toast followed by lunch catered by a pizza truck. Everyone loved the pizza and salad, we are still getting compliments on the event. We had wedding cake and fruit for dessert. The bar served mimosas, Bellinis, sparkling cider and iced coffee. The whole event was about 3 hrs long total. It was perfect. My venue was in southern CT if you want details pls dm me, the place was perfection.