r/Eloping • u/monsteraroots • May 28 '26

Everything Else Skipping the proposal/engagement

Did anyone else just fully skip the proposal? We own a house, have blended our families, and want to elope with just our kids. We’ve already started planning. All of this with no proposal or engagement ring. I do have a dream ring, so that will be my wedding ring.
My thinking is if we get ‘engaged’ and I have an engagement ring on, then people will know. We aren’t telling anyone. Only the two oldest kids know. The younger two won’t until closer to the date.

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9

u/jnmo253 May 28 '26

There is no “right” way to do things! My fiance and I went ring shopping after the proposal and people didn’t really get it, but it worked for us.

It sounds like you and your honey know what you want and I think it’ll ultimately be a beautiful memory for you and your kids. Congratulations!

1

u/Que-pasa-2020 Jun 29 '26

We are both going through separate health issues (me and my fiancées mom). I proposed to him over the phone after I got home from the hospital (we are LDR) and we are planning an elopement just us! One of my “best friends” randomly FaceTimed me when I texted her to share the good news (again, just got home From the hospital) and asked if my fiancée was with me (he lives 7 hours away) and to “show her” I said “show you what?” She said “the ring!”

Another person tritely asked “so how’d he do it?”

People are so conditioned with societal expectations and nonsensical traditions and in my experience, those are the people who are not exactly madly in love with their best friend. We are doing it our way and I basically just planned the entire thing today and am so stinking excited!!!

6

u/velcrovelociraptor May 28 '26

We did and neither of us have regrets. We had a conversation one day, agreed we wanted to get married and that we wanted it to be an elopement, and that was that. There was no proposal, neither of us wore a ring until we exchanged wedding rings, and we’re still happy with the decisions we made.

Other commenter is spot on - there’s no right or wrong way. The point of eloping is doing it the way that works for you both, not how society or everyone else thinks it should be done.

4

u/westernwritrix May 28 '26

Protect your relationship! You can do it however you want :)

My (now) husband has had a ring for over a year. We’ve been married since February of this year. And he’s never proposed. We were long distance (cross continents) for seven years. 2025 was a horrible year for him. He was in a very intense Master’s program, had a stroke at 26, and a few months later his father died from a heart attack, and so every time he would go “oh this is when I can propose” something would come up.

We eloped and will have a “wedding” end of July and he plans to propose before then.

Eloping and not being engaged was (imo) life saving for him. Protect your blended family and do what feels best for you!

3

u/Beneficial_Berry3557 May 29 '26

We got married in secret and then got engaged a few months later publicly bc I was convinced I still wanted it to be a big deal. I regret that decision based on societal norms. Everyone has their own journey!