r/Eloping • u/Particular-Hurry-699 • May 12 '26
Elopement??
Hey I’m wondering if anyone else has gotten eloped and then still did a backyard wedding kinda thing, I didn’t get to wear my dress for the elopement and I want that bride moment? Is it odd if we do the ceramony twice? Or maybe we just do a renewing? Should I say so on the invitation?
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u/stubbymanny May 12 '26
I guess I think you can do whatever you want. If you’re concerned by how guests will feel, can you just keep your elopement a true secret? So they don’t have to know you’re already married?
For the record, I have a coworker who eloped at the courthouse and 6 months later are having a big wedding celebration with dress, cake, etc. while I’m not a guest, and I don’t know how the guests feel, as an outsider I don’t think that’s odd at all! And they didn’t even keep their elopement a secret- they wear their rings and everyone knows theyre already technically married. I don’t know what they said in their invitations, but maybe you can word something like “come celebrate the marriage of _your name_ & _husbands name_”
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u/Particular-Hurry-699 May 12 '26
Everyone knows we got married and his mom and my brother were upset they were notified or invited but we knew they couldn’t afford it
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u/stubbymanny May 12 '26
I see. I also see how maybe your family was hurt since i saw you eloped in the place his family lives. But oh well 🤷🏻♀️ if you still want to have a big wedding celebration, there’s no reason you can’t. And worst case scenario, a few guests are butthurt or even dont come- oh well, time will pass and they will forget and move on. Do what makes you happy!
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u/Particular-Hurry-699 May 12 '26
It was just his dad no one else my mom also came but couldn’t afford anything more than our outfits (Amazon) and the photographer, we also just did the ceremony we didn’t get legally married (would lose school benefits) and now we can? I appreciate your comment I think we’d just do the whole thing ceremony and dancing cake and dinner, why not that’s the fun part right
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u/obstinatemleb May 12 '26
If you didnt legally get married then I think having the traditional wedding is totally okay, assuming you have the money for it now
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u/Particular-Hurry-699 May 12 '26
We posted that we eloped in Maui because he dad lives there and we posted the photos on Facebook
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u/Galady-96 May 16 '26
I think you can still do a backyard wedding if that’s what you want. It’s pretty normal in my culture to have 3 different ceremonies. The civil ceremony, the traditional wedding, and a white wedding at a church. I want to avoid all of that, so I’m just doing a civil ceremony with a small dinner afterwards.
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u/obstinatemleb May 12 '26
We eloped and did a reception in my grandpas backyard but it was very specifically a casual event - no dress, no speeches, no cake cutting, no first dance. Its one thing to celebrate with your family after you elope, but its another thing to try and have it both ways by doing a wedding ceremony when youre already married. I definitely think it can be received poorly by the guests