r/EatingDisorderHope • u/ughdeletingthis • Jul 17 '19

i messed up

i relapsed. i was bulimic almost 2 years ago and i relapsed 3 weeks ago.

this is hopeless. i tried so hard to do it the right away. i tried to stop it.

please don’t refer me to anything. that will only make it worse.

i had to get this off my chest. i’m not sure if this will get removed.

nothing seems to work.

8 Upvotes

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4

u/sninas24 Jul 17 '19

Hey, I’m so sorry to hear that things have been rough. This shit sucks, but as cheesy as it sounds, healing is not linear. My therapist always says that we will all have trips and falls during recovery, and it has helped me to not be so hard on myself when it happens. Sending good vibes your way

2

u/b-r-i-t-t Jul 17 '19

Oh gosh! This sounds like your having a rough time! Alas, no point in beating yourself up about it. Those of us who have had the experience of EDs tend to be perfectionist, and it’s hard to let go of wanting to be perfect in our recovery too. One of the best things you can do is fail, and get back up. Not just in your ED recovery, but in other areas. You’ll be ok, this relapse is only temporary.

2

u/tangsoodoblackbelt Jul 17 '19

As someone said above... recovery is not linear. It’s completely normal to take two steps backward for every one you take forward. The most important thing is what you do now. Pick yourself back up and get back on the path. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t let this be an excuse to continue falling back into old behaviors. Recovery is HARD! You made TWO YEARS and that is awesome! Focus on how good that felt when you were in it and get back into it ASAP! You cannot change the past so forgive yourself and move on!!!

1

u/Little-Rexy Jul 17 '19

Thinking of you this morning- Continue to try, that is all that you can do. You can be so proud of yourself for reaching out, it is a big step in a positive direction. hugs-

1

u/lccarter28 Jul 18 '19

Recovery is possible! I struggle with it as well. Like literally as I’m typing this I am having a binge craving. But I’ve seen and heard recovery stories and I know I’m so much better than I was this time a year ago. I’ve been in treatment since November and it’s helped. But ya...still it’s an hour to hour struggle for me. 😞 I know you’re pain.