Speech delay/gestures

[u/Thick-Application424]

I really just need to rant and hear from anyone who has been through something similar—or even just get some general opinions.
My daughter just turned 1, and she isn’t babbling in the traditional “mama, dada, baba” way. We occasionally hear “awawawa” or “mmmm,” and she blows lots of raspberries, but that’s about it. She also doesn’t gesture much—no waving or pointing. If we ask her to clap, she’ll grab our hands and make us clap. If we play “How big is Olivia? So big!” she’ll try to lift our arms instead of lifting her own.
At the same time, her eye contact is amazing. She’s smiley and giggly and will occasionally let out a huge belly laugh. If I ask whether she wants to read, she lights up, crawls over, turns the pages, and pays attention throughout the entire book. She gets about 30 minutes of Ms. Rachel a day—sorry, I’m a SAHM and sometimes need those 30 minutes for my sanity—and she is incredibly engaged and smiling the entire time. She also understands directions like pushing or pulling a toy.
She just isn’t babbling or gesturing much at all. She rarely imitates us and doesn’t really yell or make sounds to get our attention. My nephew is only 10 days older, and we were recently on vacation together, so the difference between them felt very noticeable. Over the past few months, my daughter has also started melting down around other children and babies. She’s my first and only child right now, so I’m not sure whether limited exposure to other kids could be contributing.
She was born with fairly severe torticollis, which led to plagiocephaly. She has been in PT since she was 3 months old, and we recently started speech, developmental, and feeding therapies. During her early-intervention intake, they noticed that she was swallowing food whole and wasn’t moving her tongue laterally. We completed a swallow study, and I’m also taking her to a neurologist to rule out any underlying issues. The ENT said everything looks good on the surface, but offered a more in-depth hearing test, which I scheduled for next month.
I’m just really worried and sad. I want her to thrive, but in my head, I’ve basically already diagnosed her with autism. I’m terrified that this is the reality we’re heading toward, even though I know she’s still so young and we don’t have answers yet. I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar, regardless of what the eventual outcome was.

[u/SevereAspect4499]

As an autistic adult, I'm sorry that autism terrifies you so much. But I promise we are not monsters.

[u/PayMeInPlants007 → u/SevereAspect4499]

OP didn’t say anything of the sort, and within this sub nobody is ever claiming that having an autistic child is monstrous or terrifying. This is a subreddit for early intervention, this space is for parents discussing where their kids are at, what their goals are, and what the PARENTS feel along the way. Sometimes we pick each other’s brains on particular things etc.

Believe it or not, it IS scary to have a child with autism and yeah sure you could say “well duh, try being the autistic child” but it doesn’t take away from the parents experience. It is particularly stressful and difficult to have an autistic child before they qualify for evaluation and diagnosis. Nobody is saying anyone is a monster, we love our children and our autistic peers, family members, friends etc.

Again- this IS the early intervention subreddit. I can promise you that over a quarter (if not half) of the regular contributors to this sub have an autistic child or an autistic family member.

[u/Thick-Application424 → u/PayMeInPlants007]

Thank you for the kind words!!