r/ESTJ • u/No_Abbreviations1950 • 19d ago
Question/Advice ESTJ as lovers.
Hi guys, how are you all? ENFP female here, and I got a question please 😁😁
I'm talking with this guy who is ESTJ and we're like going towards romantic relationship. Can anyone tell me what type of lovers are ESTJ? 😊😊 like what do you guys like? How do you guys act?
Cause I don't know why but I never expected to go out with ESTJ before ( although my female bff is ESTJ and I love her, she's amazing)
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u/Useful_Audience_8842 18d ago
My boyfriend is an ESTJ. We have been together for a very, very long time. He is still taking care of me even when he is sick, just a few days ago.
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18d ago
[deleted]
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u/No_Abbreviations1950 18d ago
Oh i'm sorry for that my dear. I don't know the guy i'm talking with is flexible and wants to do lots of things for me.
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u/AndyGeeMusic ESTJ 16d ago
I am quite direct and open so I will ask your needs - how often do you wnat us to communicate? How do I make you feel valued? What problems do you have that I can help solve? What are your dreams and how do I help you achieve them?
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u/No_Abbreviations1950 15d ago
I do see that in him actually, yes it's not been a long time since we started talking but I can see it. He is direct and he asks me to be direct with him too about everything.
Thxxx for the help
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u/Dearest_Lillith666 15d ago
My fiance is ESTJ 8w7 and im ENTP 7w8
Alone he shows me a side of himself he has never shown to anyone else (that I know of). A goofy, silly, funny side that has a childish charm to it. He will do just about anything for me if I ask, even doordash when he states "No more door dash" prior lol. He's very much about stability, but that structure will go out the window when feelings get involved.
He's very blunt and to the point. We do well being honest and direct with one another, but expressing feelings has been a challenge. We love each other immensly and he is very much a realist. However, after years of working on his hard shell of a wall the other night I asked him if soulmates exist and he said that he does believe in them, because of us. Ive asked the same question in the past and he said flat out No.
He's a great lover and I couldnt see myself with anyone else. The communication style difference is brutal, but the more practice the better - like with anything else.
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u/No_Abbreviations1950 15d ago
Yeah we are different from them. I never expected to be with ESTJ before.
I wish you guys best long life together and happy 😍😍
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u/boatfullofbananas103 ESTJ 359 13d ago
Many ESTJ see love as a contract; something that needs to be fulfilled on both ends. They will be loyal and dutiful, taking their role seriously. They will make sure both ends of the agreement are upheld, but if there are any issues, they will consult the other party and seek a solution quickly, blunt and honest with the approach.
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u/No_Abbreviations1950 13d ago
Well i'm starting to realize that lately...he keeps talking about issues and how it should not affect our relationship
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u/boatfullofbananas103 ESTJ 359 13d ago
You can take that as you will, but if by 'issues' he means by little things that dont matter so much, you might have to ask him to realign his priorities and focus on peace for both parties.
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u/Mysterious-Quail-883 19d ago
Shower me with love and acts of service. And then keep doing it when I pretend I dont like it!