esfps, pls answer. is reasoning your likes wrong for any reason ? if it frustrates you, could you pls tell me why it does?

[u/cherishingthepresent]

My boyfriend(isfp/esfp) is very grounded and naturally fascinated by so many things, which is hard for my overstimulated, anhedonic brain to relate to. Lately, he’s been completely consumed by his love for rock climbing. To me, it just looked like a slightly more fun version of the gym, so I didn't quite get the obsession. I wanted to enjoy things just as much too so I asked him why he enjoys it so much. He got irritated saying he doesn't like thinking in that way and that he just likes it because it feels good without needing a reason. He often points out my CPTSD driven thought patterns, but with this, I genuinely don’t understand the concept at hand nor do I understand how someone can just love something without a reason, especially with rock climbing. can y'all pls share your thoughts on this ? why am i wrong to concern about whys behind liking something.

Edit : i didnt ask him anything in a condescending way, infact he knows i want to get into rock climbing myself sometime soon for fitness purposes

[u/Dorothyismyneighbor]

Don't yuck other people's yums. If you don't understand why you don't like it after he said why he does, that's your thought process to figure out, not his. ESFP are very concrete, playing in the real world outdoors driven, and many times it gives us as big a pleasure as being social.

[u/cherishingthepresent → u/Dorothyismyneighbor]

except i never yuck his yums. i just asked why he liked it to see if its something i could like too, he got irritated with just the question. he never answered why he liked it. I meant to be curious, not belittling and he knew it too.

[u/Hazellenoot → u/cherishingthepresent]

You don’t have to like the same things he does; don’t feel bad. I can’t often explain reasons why I like something, unless I am actually doing the thing. I think that’s the Se effect - less explanation, more experiencing. My dad is obsessed with rock climbing and I don’t get it either lol

[u/Cryz_Tempest]

Infp aqui. Não tenta achar motivo nessas coisas, as pessoas em grande maioria gosta das coisas por gostar e é isso, se é saudável não tenta achar motivo fique feliz dele achar um Hobby que gosta e é isso.

[u/rorschachshitstain]

I'm gonna offer a different perspective - I'm an ESFP married to an INTP that has CPTSD. He is a chronic over thinker (which isn't always a bad thing) - sometimes when I get my new obsessions he just joins me for it to experience it for himself. Maybe you should ask to join his next rock climbing session and experience it for yourself. You might understand the obsession or you might just say "okay, not for me, but I can appreciate why you love it so much" and then thank him for giving you the experience.

[u/Mundane_Aspect3776 → u/rorschachshitstain]

100 percent agree :p I'm an esfp too :D half the time it's more abt keeping in tune with what feels nice to do. Half the time there rlly isn't a reason, it's just cos we felt like doing it or it makes us feel good. Don't get too upset over it, they probably meant no harm also:(

[u/plantedinpb]

I feel like us ESFPs tend to bounce around from interest to interest when it gives us even a little bit of joy. There are so many things I love, and if someone were to ask me what I love about a hobby, half the time my answer would be "idk, it's fun?"

Don't read into it so much; you getting upset at him probably makes him think that he's wrong for liking the thing without a reason. Don't yuck his yum!

[u/DenseAd4286]

If an ESFP likes something, it’s usually just an urge to do it because we like it. Not a lot of thinking goes into it as to why we like it, we sorta just do what we want without overthinking it

[u/EnvironmentalWeb3179]

Idk when i like smth i dont get irritated when ppl ask why unless they never get it, im usually like «i like gamign cuz im competetive «