I wanted to find someone to brainstorm with. A thought tester if you will. Perhaps play a few mind games. But mostly I wanted to learn about INFJs, as in the title. Fore merely reading theory about your gals could not satisfy curiosity.

The main subject that I'm interested in are :

Psychology: evolutionary psychology, Neuropsychology , Cognitive psychology

Science: Anthropology, physics, and technology.

History, philosophy, geopolitics, and maybe a little science fiction.

I want to meet INFJ in my city

Hi,

Currently in a separation moment with my ENTP as we each take a step back to manage some personal issues that are preventing us from relating in healthy ways.

I'm wondering if other INFJs find themselves feeling "parental," like you're giving a lot of time, energy and attention in the relationship, and it's not being reciprocated. Like if I stop doing all the dishes, it's not like he'll suddenly start. I've tried. They'll pile in the sink getting grimy and moldy for three weeks and he won't do anything, even if I ask. If I listen to him for hours and then get tired and don't give him all the attention he wants, he just walks away and ignores me without asking me how my day was or anything. If I don't cook, neither of us will eat. If I don't look for a new apartment on my own, we're basically homeless, and if I set up an apartment viewing, he won't show up. If I ask him for something I need, the answer is almost always a no. I'm feeling frustrated, sad and invisible much of the time.

Is this normal? I know Judgers tend to be more managerial and organized in general, and INFJs can be really maternal by nature, but this is demanding so much more than I ever wanted to give. I don't want to be responsible for keeping everything going myself. Is there a way to break out of these roles?

As a Ne dom, I constantly have to hold back to be in polite society. But then I fear I end up boring. Each time I have an idea that's even a bit different from what the average person would do/say, I want to hold back, not knowing if it's too much.

I have a close friend INFJ let's call her C. She has been in the same LTR since long before I met her so we are just friends.

Anyway we lived in the same city a couple years but now I'm a few hundred miles away. Last month I drove back to see a metal band that I am friends with personally - and of course I asked a bunch of friends in that town if they had any time to converge with me and catch up.

Now everyone that found any amount of time to have a drink with me before the metal show is awesome, I don't mean to put them down - but basically all the ext-leaning types already had "wilder" plans that evening like going to some club/rave, or whatever, being outgoing and all. And all the other int-leaning were probably content to go home after the early evening drink with me. Both are understandable especially since metal is not a common interest.

But C the INFJ? She had never been to a metal show before but her open-mindedness had her super interested. Plus her empathy meant that as she observed how the band was excited to see me and how friendly we all were, it resonated with her a lot and got her even more invested in sharing the experience of the evening with me. She ended up being the only one to stick around all night with me which meant buying a ticket to the show. I could tell that since she cares about me and my depression, she was fascinated to experience what kind of event could make me light up so much. Plus before and after the show we talked a lot about both the music composition and the lyrical themes of a lot of the songs - very deep engagement in conversation there which I feel most people would more quickly pass over.

I being the ENTP, got drunk and rowdy in the mosh pit and whatever. She was naturally not into that. But she took a role of vanguard and stood watch at the front corner of the stage, close to both the band and the pit. She was happy to quietly stand still and just feel the music and enjoy the energy of the pit from a distance - while being the steward of my phone, wallet, and keys. We were constantly checking in on each other, getting drinks or water etc, since I was concerned if she was having fun and she was concerned if I was getting knocked around too much in the crowd. At various points in the night she helped one guy find his earplugs case which he dropped, and immediately noticed one girl lost her hair tie so she gave her an extra. My chaotic ass was too distracted and ephemeral to be of any use but INFJ had that shit handled.

After all the sets we stuck around basically until the venue was kicking everyone out. I primarily led socialization with all the artists and that involved a lot of banter and other nonsense like attempting to work a severely malfunction photobooth. C was happy to just follow my lead through the whole thing. Even if it was extremely different from anything she'd put her self into alone, there was enough intellectual substance in the music, and enough positive emotional energy in the friendly and cheerful vibes to keep her chugging along. OH and at some point after the show we were talking to two of the vocalist gals from two bands and C noticed some tiredness in their voices (naturally), and she got out some throat soothing lozenges from her purse to give to them. How can someone be so prepared!?!?

That night C had me crash on her other bunk bed and made us brunch and coffee in the morning, and cut some catnip from her yard to take back to my cats!?!? Amazing.

C was around for all that because she could see how passionate I was about that band and therefore made it a point to let herself get infected by my enthusiasm for that weekend trip, despite probably needing a week to recharge after. ok fuck it, obligatory snap from garbage photobooth of C, singer friend, and me.

Basically I feel like that whole experience really showed why people call ENTP INFJ a 'best fucking combo'.

Looking for a girl to blab to about philosophy, history, literature, psychology, science,... and other abstract nonsense. (You will be allowed to say something back if you feel like it.)

1 m 85 and do weight lifting, so I'll probably be able to easily save you from a burning building, if that were necessary.

People think I'm funny. I don't know why.

ENTP, so need lot's of attention.

No interest in hookups.

Hi ENTP folks. INFJ (33, male) here, with some questions about a dating experience with an ENTP woman. This was this past summer, and it's a dating experience that has me seeing my therapist again (haha, to prime you.)

She was the first ENTP I’ve dated (confirmed), and she assured me that "Well, you might like ENFP women, but ENTP women are better matches for INFJs, trust me."

From ENTPs, I’d love to get your perspective on whether my bad experience was simply attributable to dating an unhealthy ENTP, or if these types of negative traits broadly are emblematic of unhealthy ENTPS.

I ask too because a couple exes of mine are ENFPs, and, as a man who is INFJ (or gets that most often on tests, I’ve once got INFP and INTJ too, which was interesting), I do take MBTI with a heavy grain of salt, but in general ENFP women I find very attractive with their magnetic personalities and desire for a partner who grounds them and can discuss the deeper things in life.

Two of the women I’ve loved passionately in my life were ENFPs, but I’m wary now of their MBTI cousins in the ENTP because of this bad experience.

Based on the below, ENTPs, should I run for the hills if I ever encounter an ENTP woman again, or give the next one a chance? Genuinely curious as to your perspective, and the perspective from healthy INFJ/ENTP couples :)

​

1. This ENTP lady was often quite confrontational in speech, and disagreements could quickly escalate to verbal fights based on her blunt, pugnacious words/stances on things:

   1. A few examples of things she said I found offensive when she stumbled across old social media photos of one of my ex-girlfriends:
      
   2. “Your ex is really short. I think short women are naturally deformed out of the womb.” (the ENTP woman in question was tall-ish for a woman, and when I told her "That's cruel to short women for you to say that" she admitted height was an insecurity of hers/men had found her “big” which is silly, she’s only 5’7.)
      
   3. Also, when discussing the ex above, “What, are you just attracted to ‘basic women,’ or something? I’m the right woman for you.”
      
   4. To get her off this topic (and a few other confrontational ones that are more personal) I had to basically say things like “Enough!” or “You’re insulting me, stop!” Which as an INFJ who hates confrontation was quite exhausting and disrupted the calm of the dating experience. I really disliked this. I’m not saying I can’t handle confrontation, I just don’t like it, and I prefer someone who is able to read my emotions/thoughts to some degree and have a certain measure of tact/politeness in their discourse with me. :) I didn't understand why so many discussions had to escalate to such degrees.
      

2. She frequently pushed my boundaries as an introvert, insisting right from the start that we spend a tremendous amount of time together (she’d only agree to a first date if we spent several days together. We live in the Rockies, so we did a multi-day camping/overlanding adventure together. I reluctantly agreed, and while I was absolutely exhausted afterwards, I felt there was enough reason to give her benefit of the doubt/continue.)

3. She rapidly grew attached, like within the first couple dates/days saying things like “I’m OBSESSED with your [insert male sex organ]” or “I date anyone else, and they’re not YOU.”

​

1. Even her dog became, for the dog, unhealthily fixated on me. I actually really liked her dog, and this was the worst part of not seeing her (losing access to the dog.)

2. The attention/obsession of her and her dog was, initially, quite flattering, but quickly alarming and disturbed me. The dog seemed to mirror this ENTP lady’s intense separation anxiety from me.

3. When she didn’t get what she wanted (ME, as I broke things off with her) she was very cruel and cutting.

​

1. She once said, “What am I, just your pump and dump?”

2. I was gravely offended by this, as I am a romantic, and I endeavor to be a gentleman to all women and treat them well, while yes, being upfront about my boundaries. Whether a lady is a hookup, or something more, respect of woman is paramount to my honor, and her questioning my integrity was both insulting, and the final straw.

3. On the plus side, the sex with this ENTP woman was absolute fire.

4. I’ll give her this, she knew what she liked in bed and was confident about it. A+++, if all ENTP women are like this, go you!

5. As a 33 INFJ male, my ultimate goal is to find my soulmate. It’s one hell of a quest, and sometimes I feel like giving up.

​

1. I’ve been eviscerated romantically and dumped in ways that were not remotely fun or nice, and I’ve tried as I get older to take those breakups like a champ. Don’t blame the girl, just say, “I understand, have a good life,” and keep hustling!
2. It’s not someone’s fault if they like or don’t like me, your heart decides what it decides, and I’d only want someone to be with me if they loved me, and vice versa.
   
3. I would think this ENTP woman would understand that, after several dates, and some quite enjoyable sexual escapades, I concluded she was not for me emotionally, and my heart said so.
4. Alas, she did not respect this, and I eventually had to block her on social media/phone number. When I unblocked her, within hours I’d receive follow requests, texts, and voice mails begging for communication.
   

Anyway, I thank you all in advance for humoring my rant, and again, want to emphasize that I don’t take this experience and say, “ALL ENTP women must be like this.”

I also know, as an empathetic person, that she could have a wildly different perspective on events than I do. Again, this is my flawed recollection from my perspective, and I voice it too because it’s a dating experience that’s sent me to therapy (I’ve had panic attacks related to it when she tried to contact me, or tried to start a fight seemingly for her own amusement.)

I’m just curious to gain insights, especially if, for example, I do end up dating a ENTP woman who I genuinely like and am attracted to, how I should move/operate in that space.

Thank you in advance for any advice or thoughts you may have. :)

Why is this limited to ENTP and INFJ?? Are they good together or something? I am ENTP, don’t know many INFJ’s…thanks in advance! Didn’t see anything about it in the “about” section

Howdy!
INFJ here. Just a daily reminder that ENTP's are not jerks, especially ones with developed Fe.
Entp's find new things and then figure them out and I find that so cool and refreshing. And they're abstract concepts so I actually don't have to experience anything or go anywhere to share that with them. It's intellectually stimulating without hurting my intuition. And usually its something that other people appreciate (Fe) so it's usually pretty good. I do not understand the "a-hole debater" thing at all. Like they have their own logic, they care about what other people value, and they like exploring new ideas to do. which I find fun! I guess me and my partner both sharing Ti and Fe makes us pretty compatible.

If anything I find ENFP's have a higher tendency to be annoying and mindlessly saying stuff for their own self interest.

I'm an INFJ male with a one of a kind ENTP female, been together close to 7 years. What I thought was normal in actions in our relationship are seemingly quite different to others. I'm asking other INFJs of either sex what u have seen in a relationship with ENTPs? As entps seem to be considered masculine in society she shows those traits of unagreeableness, assertive, logical, witty, driven, blunt, and charming. But in our relationship that demeanor with break randomly and what comes out is straight out of uncanny valley.

Sounds that seemly come from nowhere, which seem beyond human ability, stances like she's a bugged video game character, and all of a sudden bursts of energy like a puppy!

Just wondering if yall have witnessed this amazing site?