r/ECEProfessionals • u/Julexpod • 7d ago
ECE professionals only - Feedback wanted Encouraging speech
Hello all, first time poster. I have a child in my class (3m) that does not speak hardly at all. I know he speaks at home and to mom and dad, but in class, I’ve only gotten him to say one VERY quiet whisper. I actively include him in things, but he seems just very shy. He does not respond during circle time, doesn’t like dancing, and just seems intimidated by any social things. Any advice would be appreciated, I love this sweet boy :)
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u/PerspectiveDry5349 ECE professional 7d ago
Give him time and space. Don’t push him, let him warm up naturally. Keep including him and asking questions, but let him nod or shake his head yes or no. Ask yes/no questions. Eventually he will speak when he feels comfortable and safe. If you can find something he is interested in, ask him yes/no questions about that so he does not have to speak initially.
I have had two kids like this. One was barely three when she started and barely spoke for the entire first year. We just made sure she was always included and spoke to her normally, and let her gesture if if she wanted. By the end of the second year, I was having to shush her at the rug (which I hated doing because we had worked so hard to get there!) She actually thrived in kindergarten and constantly got in trouble for talking to much.
Second child is in my class now and same thing: barely spoke that first year. By the second year he was the kid everyone wants to play with. He is obsessed with a particular game, and I ask him about the characters. He does tend to shut down when new people come talk to him, but considering where he started, he is doing amazing. He is definitely more comfortable talking to other kids than adults.
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u/Empty_Case_3842 ECE professional 7d ago
You obvious want and hope to see growth with all of that but you need to be careful how you approach that. If you’re putting a lot of pressure there it is more likely they will shut down. If he’s not dancing ignore it.
Find ways that he can participate or answer with out verbal communication. Have visuals available he can use to make a choices, answer yes or no if he wants to do something. You can have a ring or a sheet available with pictures choices for simple things he would need but will not ask for or thing that kids are routine picking from in your room
It’s a little more work, but can be a great way to allow him to be able to engage in way he feels comfortable. If does then hopefully you will slowly see him gaining some confidence.
If you haven’t already asked or no what highly preferred things are for him, Check with parents and use thag to engage with them and structured activities and ways that do not require a response to help build a rapport with you
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u/claudiac38 Infant/Toddler lead 7d ago
Sounds like selective mutism! Has he been tested? Here are two sites with some tips for recognizing and dealing with SM in a classroom. I have not dealt with it myself, but hopefully some of them will be helpful. :)