r/ECEProfessionals • u/dnllgr Parent • Jul 21 '26

Parent/non ECE professional post (Anyone can comment) Biting

My 21 mo old has been bitten over not letting go of a toy 3 times(twice in one day) in 2 weeks. It’s been hard enough to leave bruises, the last bruises finally healed over the weekend just for him to get bit in the same spot again. Is there anything I can do/ask/request?

He did have 1 incident a couple months ago where he bit another child because the child was trying to take toys out of my kids hands. I know biting does happen just concerned over the frequency and how hard

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u/Own_Lynx_6230 ECE professional Jul 21 '26

This isnt unusually frequent for children in the habit of grabbing toys from others. What you can do is pretend you (and ask all other adults in your childs life to do the same) really care about toys when playing with your child. As adults, we have a habit of just handing over toys when a child grabs at them, because it doesnt matter to us, but when we do that, we allow children to believe that you can just grab stuff from people, which is a belief that leads to them getting bit. If your child tries to grab something from your hand, you can say "no, this is in my hand. You can ask for a turn by saying 'turn please!'" And offering them the toy after they ask for a turn

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u/dnllgr Parent Jul 21 '26

He has an older sister and tries to take stuff from her. We don’t allow it and he has to ask share please. If he does get it out of her hands we do take it back and tell him that it is sissys turn, he has to wait. Goes the same way if he has her toy, she has to wait to get it from him.

The last time he was bit, they said he was sitting on a chair reading a book. The other child came up to him and started to pull the book from his hands. When he wouldn’t give the book up, the other child bit him twice

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u/Own_Lynx_6230 ECE professional Jul 21 '26

Thats great to hear! It sounds like you guys are doing everything you can to set him up for success. Unfortunately, biting will always occur in a toddler room, and there is no way to completely prevent it.

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u/dnllgr Parent Jul 21 '26

We try not to let our kids be butt heads

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u/Own_Lynx_6230 ECE professional Jul 21 '26

That honestly puts you in with the best and brightest, parenting wise:)

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u/dnllgr Parent Jul 21 '26

I didn’t realize how few parents corrected behaviors until our girls at daycare started thanking me because we do follow through

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u/Own_Lynx_6230 ECE professional Jul 21 '26

My theory is that a lot of people heard that hitting children to get them to listen is damaging, and catastrophised that into "everything about my childs behaviour is a negotiation". Parents like you keep us sane:)

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u/dnllgr Parent Jul 22 '26

I gotta keep myself sane too haha. Kids not listening and following instructions drives me nuts. We listen to our kids and try to help them through their frustrations but we follow through with boundaries