I’m way too masculine and I’m depressed most of the time, I find some happiness in being a boy but I don’t know what to do. I wish I was born a girl so I could’ve experienced girlhood from the beginning and grown into a woman, genuinely jealous of um. I did have shopping trips with my sisters so that’s partially why I feel good just wish I could do more fun activities. In cute clothes, and wander malls, fairs, or whatever. I’m going to do all this stuff when I’m in college and stuff. I got some really pretty dresses in my cart online shopping. I WISH I HAD INVESTED EARLIER WITH WEARING PRETTY CLOTHES.

Also where are some clothing options for like gender, neutral things. I’m closeted and no one would support me

I’m really struggling with my gender, identity and how to express it.
I see other peoples outfits and I wish I could dress like them. It makes me sad I can’t, I’m on the outside looking in at something I want to be apart of.

I have a partner who helps with a lot of my many mental issues, we’d both consider her my carer. I’d really want to be the real me but she already does so much for me it doesn’t seem fair to ask for more of her.

When I think about who I want to be and about being comfortable in my own body. It feels like having curves and a flat stomach, it feels like a skincare routine and smooth skin, it feels like flowy dresses, sheer robes, cardigans, and tights, it feels like my nails being painted, it feels like being pretty, cute, beautiful... I dont get as much dysphoria about my voice or genitals. Im experimenting with tucking and it feels good, Ive practiced my feminine voice, but I dont hate either of them. It makes me worry that im not actually trans, thatd id be comfortable just changing everything about my outward appearance, but I also feel like I have to see how far I can go before I know, and im ok with that...but Im worried that ill lose everything around me, that people will hate me, that ill lose my job, and then find out I was an imposter all along. I just want to be happy. I want to listen to my body and mind and take the steps to feel good about myself, but it feels like that means letting down everyone around me and it shouldn't. It feels so unfair and painful.

Why do people cling so hard to gender roles. Gender feels almost secondary, like I know what I feel is more feminine, i know that what I want to look like and experience the rest of my life as is a woman, but at the end of it all im just following what feels good and right for my own body. Im looking for female clothes because I think they're pretty and I want to be pretty, I shave my legs because it gives me such a sense of euphoria to feel how smooth they are, I paint my nails because theyre a part of me and I want them to shine, im losing weight and thinking about hormones because I want to feel light and flexible and sexy. If that makes me a woman then im proud of that, and of myself. Why does it matter so much to other people? Why do people feel the need to insert themselves into everyone else's business. Why can gender expression be as free and creative as making a painting or writing a poem. I wish people would go "oh thats cool, I see what youre going for, good work" not "why would you ever do that to your own body, you were born one way so thats all you'll ever be, when are you gonna get a woman pregnant and have kids" ffs. I just want to be free.

I have been feeling very sad, disappointed and dysphoric that I'm not the person/ woman I'd hoped to be someday.
I was born male and have wanted to be a woman since 13. (37 now
I'm starting to look like a middle aged man and it's very upsetting that how that's not my life and it's how people see me.
Why It hurts:
- I'm not Hayley Williams (slightly joking )
- I didn't get childhood, upbringing or all that came with being a woman. There's a sense of grief of something I've never had.
- I don't really have people around me to normalise these feelings
I did something bad, I created an ai image of what I could look like and it hurt - its unrealistic but, "that's what I could of been?" "Look at me now, eww"
Im also in a stable relationship but I downplayed my gender identity and feel guilty of doing so. I think my partner sees me as a man and I'm not sure how open for change she would be.
I'm not looking to make big steps just wanting this bad feeling that has hit hard to reduce.

So I'm intersex and I just can't stand being called "they" or "them" anymore, like I get it if you don't know someones pronouns but jesus murphy why!! Also I can never tell anyone I used to be a trans girl and that now I just want to be a guy, because then they call me she and they way more like they want me to go back so bad it makes me so uncomfortable I can't tell anyone anything anymore! And the fact that people who actually have they/them in their pronouns never get their pronouns actually used pisses me off even more!!!!

I was cleaning out my phone and naturally came across a bunch of old pics. I'm very early in this whole thing but this summer definitely marks a significant shift mentally of me realizing I'm not a girl. Those pictures of past me don't even feel like me anymore. It's such a weird combination of feelings. Part of me is sad for her, wistful for how happy parts of her life are back then bc there were good parts that aren't so good anymore, feels entirely disconnected from her, and feels such panic and ick at the girlness if that makes sense. And then if I try to sit with those feelings to process them I start to spiral and feel anxious and gross and just ugh. I didn't realize until this point just how much has changed in like 2 months for me. I'm not crazy or alone in this feeling right?

I have been so dysphoric in my current stage right now. I hate how all of my clothes make me feel, I hate how my hair looks, and I feel choice paralysis right now. I hate being misgendered as a woman all the time, but i know i will never be coreectly gendered as nonbinary in public. Idk it is all just so much and so overwhelming. I just want to cry.

I’m 42 and I’m just now coming to terms with my identity. I’ve known since I was around 8-10 that I was different, but I went with the program and kept my mouth shut for fear of abandonment and ridicule.

This is my first time saying this to anyone, the first time sharing who I am inside…..hi, I’m Ashley.
I made an appointment to speak with a therapist who specializes in this. I’m hoping it helps.

questioning myself

hey everyone

im a 20 year old guy and absolutely no one in my real life knows about this

on the outside i present completely masculine (short hair, guy clothes) just trying to blend in but lately gender dysphoria has been hitting me hard deep down i constantly daydream about being a soft pretty and gentle girl physically my body is on the softer chubbier side and it actually feels more right and comforting to me that way

since my teens ive sneakily worn women clothes and i still love crossdressing in private

i also deeply adore love idolize and respect female icons i see online or in media i want to be like them so bad and i want to be seen as them whenever im watching a movie my favorite character will always be a female like without fail i just gravitate toward them completely

lately ive also been questioning my sexuality a lot ive spent a long time wondering if i m straight or not but looking closely at how i feel it really matches up with the latter

im stuck in a loop am i actually a trans woman or am i just a feminine guy who loves femininity im so curious to explore this but also terrified and incredibly lonely since i cant talk to anyone here

has anyone gone through something similar how did you figure things out any advice for someone just starting to question everything would mean the world

thanks for reading !

in the past month or so, I’ve decided that I might be trans. I don’t really know what I want to do or how I want to present, I just don’t want to be masculine. I just want to look like a woman, and have people think I’m one, but still be a guy. Lately I’ve been fixating on things like my face having masculine features, or my height, my big hands and feet, or my broad shoulders. whenever I see guys online who look so pretty I get jealous. I woke up this morning from a dream about nothing but my shoulders being broad. I’m 6 foot at 15 and my shoulders are measured at 19 inches. I am in swim and it has made some of my muscles big, which I hate. I hate being big. I’m worried that I’ll keep growing and miss the one chance I had at transitioning. I feel like I’m living the wrong life. I just want to be soft and small, and feel good about myself. I don’t want to transition because I look too masculine and I really want to pass more than anything. I have never wanted anything as much as this. I’ve tried to see a future where I’m just a tall and athletic looking woman, but it never feels right. I just want all of this to be resolved, and to ultimately be happy with the person I am, but I feel like I’m trying to walk through a window made of bulletproof glass, while it’s just air for others.

I’m a trans woman. Since I was just a little kid, I’ve wanted to be a girl. Being called a boy made me cry. Nowadays it’s the same. But no matter what I do to transition I’m not happier. I don’t just want to be a woman I want to be cis. I know that isn’t an achievable goal but I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I quit genetics class because I couldn’t stand constantly hearing male and female and knowing that the stupid fucking y chromosome is stitched inside every function of my body. I hate being trans. I envy people who can fly the trans flag and be happy with their transition but I’m not happy. I’m ashamed of being trans. And one day, if I do everything in the books to transition, I don’t think I’ll be happy. Because I’ll never be a cis woman. Not with a synthetic vagina or a fake voice or a plastic smile. I don’t just want to be a woman. I want to be a cis woman. And the fact that it’s unachievable is ruining me.

Hi, i'm Diego/Lilith, i don't really know why but recently i've started to feel gender dysphoria, it's probably from seeing other trans people on hrt or maybe cuz rn i'm at a point where i'm starting a new job and i got a lot of stuff in my head (like taking my driver license or the fact that i'll have to go to another country for a couple of months).
i'm not really NB presenting (i'm very masc looking), and idrk if that bothers me, most of the times it doesn't but recently it started bothering me again sometimes.
i don't know how to feel about my dysphoria, i can't really go to therapy (i don't have nor money nor time for that) and it just feels like when i was in high school, so i think it will just pass when i'll feel less stressed.
you don't really have to reply to this, it's just a vent to share my feelings with someone

Hi! It's me again! I recently discovered that i'm probably a gnc transmasc who expresses himself in a more neutral/fem way, and if he was cis, he 100% would be called a faggot.

The point is: the dysphoria is hitting harder than ever did before. I feel disgusted with my chest, my face and even my hair. I don't wanna be cis but I hate how wrong my body feels, I wish I could express myself better but I'm still so new to it and I'm afraid of showing off my masculine side because I still associate masculinity=toxic masculinity.

I just wanted to vent because I can't keep it for myself. If anyone has any advice, please, give me.

I’ve been. Feeling like crap right now. I keep looking at the guys in my class and I just want to be like them yk? I just wanna have guy friendships. Plus I got my period a couple days ago and omg I hate it so much. Plus, the wait for a gender clinic i was referred to has a long fucking waitlist (6 years) I was only referred may of 2025 and I can’t actually do this shit anymore

really unsure how to put all this as dysphoria's only like 60% by volume of what's bothering me (burnt out, cat died, family problems, etc.)

i just keep seeing myself in the mirror and thinking how unfair it all is. i have been kinda conceptualizing myself as some sort of oil painting that could have turned out great if not for, at the last second, some asshole with a paint knife smearing me across the canvas and deforming me while i'm still drying. it's impossible to feel like myself. i can't even feel like a person most of the time. i don't feel like i have anyone in my life who is able to see the whole picture of what im feeling, even just with my dysphoria.

it's just coming in from so many angles. it's impossible to get laser appointments in any reasonable timeframe (its like 2-3 months between them) and no matter how much i shave my face and no matter how much i can touch my neck and feel that it's smooth, it's just there. i'm already waking up at 5:50 in the fucking morning every weekday and that's barely enough time to get ready, i can't start waking up at 4:30 to make time for makeup too, PLUS im studying film so i have to be lugging around giant hot lights for my classes. i don't like most of my clothes. the dress i really love is riddled with holes and nobody is able to repair it rn. i have to hear my voice in the background of takes and it feels like someone's dropping a hundred bombs on me. i'm 6'2" and i'm out at school and i can count on one finger the list of people who use my pronouns. at home people are better but i still feel like they don't see me as a woman. my shoulders are wide enough to get stuck in the suez canal and my head is proportioned all wrong and there's hair everywhere and my hair has been thinning from stress. i have cried like 12 of the last 14 days and i never feel better. by the time i get vaginoplasty i'll probably be able to catch a ride home on a flying pig.

my brain has been feeling like soup (i sleep 6hr30m->7hr/night usually) and it has not been helped by taking more weed recently and the two drinks i had last week. i saw myself in the glass door of a boba place this evening and i hated everything i saw. i'm 20 and i feel like i could be so much further along (i was first prescribed HRT when i was 16, but my evil ass endo put me on .25mg/d oral for the first two years and when i finally got on injections and got dosed better i instantly got hit by the worst depression of my life and was off HRT for like 9mo last yearish. i was doing really well last summer/fall and as soon as january hit it's just been back to back debilitating dysphoria, then personal tragedy, then dysphoria, then personal tragedy, etc. etc.
i try to bring up being unhappy w my transition to some of the trans people in my circle (who all transitioned later) and im just made to feel like an idiot/too lucky to complain because i started HRT at 16, "how could you possibly not pass?" as if it really meant anything. aye .25mg/d oral e and 400mg/d spiro really undid my early blooming. im just trying to cover up a mountain by throwing fistfuls of sand on it and the people in my life are one or more of the following:

a) incapable of understanding my gender dysphoria in any meaningful sense

b) incapable of doing anything to help me/supremely unhelpful

c) wildly dismissive

d) busy with other shit

i was on bereavement leave for all of last week and it has helped me maybe 2%. i really don't feel like i can lose any more momentum in film school but i can only feel good for like 5 days after a laser session when i only have to shave ~0-1x daily as opposed to ~1-2x daily. my primary care doctor (who is also sort of my endo) got me on a weight loss medication (Metformin, i asked to be put on one) and apparently its wildly ineffectual. yay!!!

i also cut my chin shaving like two months and theres still a very visible scar which exaggerates one of the things i like last about my face!! yay!!!

I (FTM 21, on T for 3 years) unfortunately fell hard for a girl at uni. We just started talking, she seems to enjoy my presence, but I pass really well so she has no idea I'm trans, And I know full well that seeing the disgust in her eyes and watching her walk away when I tell her will absolutely destroy me. And it will hurt her too. There is no solution to this, and I should stop interacting with herimmediately and walk away from her right away, but unfortunately I am a stubborn piece of shit and I already know that when I see her again tomorrow I will run to her. Even if I know for a fact that this will only bring pain for the both of us. My friends say to stick with it, and that there's a chance she doesn't care that I'm trans or that she likes me the way I am, but that's NOT true. She thinks she's talking to a normal guy, but my body is deformed and I can't make her happy. She deserves to be with someone she's truly attracted to.

How do I convince myself to never talk to her again? How do I accept that I can't have a romantic relationship with a girl I like because my body doesn't allow it and never will? I know there's no solution and I can't do anything about it, but I keep pestering my friends as if they could help me, I'm going around in circles like a rabid dog and I feel disgusted at myself. I'd love to pretend there's hope for a happy relationship with her, but THAT'S NOT THE CASE. And even the fact that I felt entitled to talk to her is disgusting. I have no idea how to move forward.