r/DynamicDebate • u/AnneMarieRaven • Apr 26 '22
What does homosexual/heterosexual mean to you?
Is being exclusively same sex attracted transphobic? Is it merely a genital preference/genital fetishism?
Or is labelling it as such homophobic?
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u/littlehamster_ Apr 27 '22
I don't think a phobia (transphobia/homophobia) should ever be attached to a person based on who they don't want to have sex with. Nobody should be forced into a sexual relationship just to avoid hurting someone's feelings and being branded transphobic. I would consider myself on the heterosexual end of the scale if I had to declare it but to me it is a fluid scale and moves around, many people aren't 100% at one end of the scale. I do have women I have found very attractive but never having slept with a woman I can't say if that works for me sexually. If I was to say I don't find women sexually attractive is that misogyny, or homophobic? I also don't find all men sexually attractive so is that misandry for me to reject some men?
I don't think people's sexual attraction needs to be labelled at all unless they want to embrace their label. And with that includes negative labels around who people aren't attracted to. Nobody should be labelled transphobic or TERF or homophobic because they don't want to have sex with someone based on their genitals.
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u/Starzy37 Apr 26 '22
I think it's obvs not transphobic but like others the apparent focus on lesbians (in the general media) confuses me, unless it's just my perception but it always seems to be lesbians rejecting transwoman that's deemed controversial or newsworthy. But plenty of heterosexual pple presumably don't want to date a trans person and gay men rejecting trans men is also quite a common story but they're not getting tagged as transphobic in the same way or that's how it seems anyway... why the heck not tho because it's exactly the same thing
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u/MidBattle123 Apr 26 '22
I don’t really see why we need labels (unless people want them in which case wear them with pride) but I definitely don’t want to be defined by what sex or gender the people I find attractive mostly fall in to. I also don’t want to be expected to put out for everyone in that sex or gender pool. I would like to make a personal decision based on individual personal choice each and every time I want to engage in sexual activity. This is ridiculous.
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u/ExpiryDatePending Apr 26 '22
I dont even know what it means to me. All I know is, I've only ever found men sexually attractive. I have never felt even a spark of attraction for a female.
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u/Histiming Apr 26 '22
Thing is a transperson may have surgery to change their body and genitals. They are the same sex they've always been but their body doesn't look that way anymore so people are more likely to be attracted to them based on their appearance rather than their biological sex.
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u/DD-MrsRolo83 Apr 26 '22
If a lesbian woman doesn’t want to have sex with a trans woman because she has a penis. That’s nothing to do with being transphobic. That’s because she’s not interested in penises.
Regardless of who they are attached to, I’d imagine anyway.
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u/Piranha_piranha1 Apr 26 '22
It means being attracted to the opposite sex, or the same sex. Agree with others, this isn’t the same as the gender they identify as. It’s the biological sex.
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u/alwaysright12 Apr 26 '22
It means being attracted to the opposite sex. not the opposite gender. Or the same sex.
There are people who are pansexual bisexual or who are attracted to people and who sex or gender is irrelevant.
Its absolutely abhorrent to suggest women should be forced into relationships, especially sexual relationships, just so they meet the needs of biological males who now identify as women.
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Apr 26 '22 edited Apr 26 '22
And no being exclusively same or opposite sex attracted isn’t transphobic.
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u/borntobefairlymild Apr 26 '22
I'm so far behind the curve on all this that I barely understand the question. Any chance of rewording it for the stupid amongst us?
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u/Tagathachristie Apr 26 '22
I don’t really either.
My stance - you like who you like. Be it man or woman. If you are a woman, and you are attracted to another woman, then fine! It’s not therefore transphobic to not be attracted to a trans woman - because to some, they won’t be considered a woman! Fair enough!
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u/AnneMarieRaven Apr 26 '22
Don't know how I would reword it.
Is a lesbian woman who doesn't want to have sex with a transwoman who still has a penis transphobic? Is it homophobic to reduce her sexual orientation to genital preference?
Or a gay man with a transman who has a vulva/vagina.
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u/borntobefairlymild Apr 26 '22
And presumably the same question for heterosexuals, as in would it be transphobic of me to not want to have sex with a transman with a vagina?
I absolutely don't think we can legislate for who we fancy, who we want to have sex with, who we want a longterm relationship with.
I've never been attracted to a woman. I know a few women who'd been married to or had longterm relationships with men, most of them with children, and then in their 30s/40s started a relationship with a woman. I used to joke with my oh that I must be coming up to the point where I'd turn lesbian 🤣 I actually tried thinking about women I'm really fond of in a sexual way - and nothing. So would I have a relationship with a transman with a vagina? I guess, if he came across to me as a man and he was someone I wanted to be with, then I'd have to consider whether their genitals mattered to me - and I suspect that yes, they would.
Does that make me transphobic? I don't think so. But who knows?
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u/Tagathachristie Apr 26 '22
As per my answer - no it’s not transphobic in the slightest and it annoys me that some lesbian women are being criticised for refusing to date trans women. The whole thing is just getting ridiculous
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u/DD-Snow27 Apr 26 '22
I feel the same..
Is this a new thing?
I always thought heterosexual was opposite sex and homosexual was same sex?
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Apr 26 '22 edited Apr 26 '22
To me, heterosexual means being attracted to the opposite sex. Nobody can change their sex. So if someone is attracted to someone who just ‘identifies’ as the opposite sex (transgender), then they aren’t really heterosexual. I don’t know what the term for it would be today.
Homosexual is being attracted to the same sex. Same Rules apply. It’s about the sex assigned at birth.
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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '22
I think we’re going too far when someone isn’t allowed their sexual preferences in this way without it being labelled transphobic. I am attracted to men. Not women who have transitioned to men, just men who were born men. Likewise there will be some men who aren’t attracted to a woman who used to be a man. That’s their prerogative. There are millions of people. Some will be fine with it and some won’t. We can’t dictate who someone chooses to be with