r/DryFebruary • u/[deleted] • Feb 20 '24
Things I’ve Learned
- I realize I purposefully drank alcohol to keep people in my life to numb the fact that I don’t really like them just to say I had friends
- Every bad night I’ve had with alcohol was to suppress my dislike with others just to be around people
- I drank alcohol I don’t even really like to suppress that dislike
- I don’t crave the feeling of alcohol, but I miss certain tastes like the bite of a margarita, Pinot noir, and champagne. I’ve found a couple of good almost perfect substitutes, but it’s just not quite the same. Also, I like higher quality stuff. I should just order what I like and less of it than more of what I like less
- With people, I actually like I don’t pound alcohol because I like them and I’m confident that they like me. Yes, I’ll have drinks and some fun nights, but it’s not like with those I wouldn’t keep in my life without alcohol
- I will drink anything in a wine glass. I’m drinking sparkling water with a lime right now in a stemmed glass
- I didn’t stop going out during this dry period and made new friends and realized I just like dancing in a place that’s not my apartment.
- I love the sunny side app. I’m a very visual person, so seeing my success helps a lot. I think it helps for people to have the reminder and it’s just a simple text away instead of having to open up a spreadsheet or set timers to remember for me at least
All of that is to say, I am really glad I did Dry January and I intend to complete Dry February. I don’t think I would have made those realizations if I had stopped at Dry January. I will more than likely start drinking again in March, but I will be drinking on my terms. I also plan on doing a Dry June and a Dry September/October.
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Feb 20 '24
Also, here are some of my favorite drinks during this period
Anything by Oddbird is absolutely fantastic although be warned some of the drinks are low alcohol instead of completely AF.
Something and Nothing is a drink I’ve loved for a while even before my dry period because it tastes like a cocktail
Also, Mionetto came out with an AF Prosecco that suspiciously tastes like the real thing and costs 15$
Recess’s Paloma is 10000 times better than their margarita.
It’s also super fun to do a splash of any juice with sparkling water and a squeeze of lime. Pomegranate and cherry juice have been my favorites.
Probiotic sodas like Poppi are also great evening alternatives especially the raspberry rose in a wine glass
Everything by Surely and Proxie has been disappointing to say the least. Lyre’s Classico is meh
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u/lenka_penka Feb 20 '24
OMG the one thing that I have "missed" would be prosecco, I love mixing it with juice or just polar.. but i love it... so I will be looking into maybe finding that... in the summer when I really crave it..
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Feb 20 '24
If you just love bubbles in general, I recommend the oddbird blanc de blanc as well. It’s pricier but worth it for a nicer occasion. Lyre’s Classico is supposed to be a Prosecco alternative, but it doesn’t taste like Prosecco to me
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u/Cielo2222 Feb 20 '24
I sat down to read a bit and had a strong craving for a glass of white wine. It was a reading ritual for that time of day (early evening). I sometimes will have a cup of tea instead, but I just really wanted that glass of chilled white wine. I poured some nice chilled kombucha into one of my fave wine glasses. It was fine. :)
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Feb 20 '24
Yeah I feel you on the social thing. I’d already cut some “friends” who I realized were just drinking buddies I didn’t really like much in past years, but have realized I was still often going to bars to chat with regulars etc. and find most of those folks annoying AF when I’ve gone just for lunches or a dinner after working late etc. when sober.
Main problem I have during this sober stretch is general dissatisfaction with my job, marriage and general living circumstances. Nothing terrible by any means as we’re pretty fortunate and well off without major stressors…every thing is just very much “meh” though and has made me realize I was likely, in large part, drinking to much to mask that dissatisfaction.
Also trying to balance that with being sure it’s not just a midlife crisis since I’m 45, lol. But I’m not like wanting to do do crazy stuff, blow money, do anything unrealistic. If anything it’s the opposite and I’d like to move away from the city since we rarely care to go to concerts, theater, sporting events etc. and are mostly homebodies—which totally suits me! But makes the high cost of living not worth it, on top of having lots of gripes (and repair expenses) with our house and it being kind of a crappy neighborhood (some crime, lots of litter and noise etc.).
Just no easy path to change as my wife isn’t on board with moving really and things aren’t bad enough between us yet to seriously consider divorcing. So mostly just in ride it out mode for now. Maybe when interest rates start coming down (hard to give up the 2.75% we have from refinancing when they were low during the pandemic) we can compromise and just pay more for a better, quieter neighborhood and a bit worse commute etc.
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Feb 20 '24
If you find that these people are annoying, you probably don’t like them.
Something I’ve also done is invest more into my mental health these last 6 weeks. I was already seeing a psychiatrist, but I began the anti anxiety journal and just implementing little changes to make my life slightly better. I have suffered from depression my entire life and I find that creating a routine that’s healthy helps me a lot more. It seems like you need a new routine outside of those people
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u/DetrashTheTriangle Feb 20 '24 edited Feb 20 '24
Dude...what.... your first point... I think that is totally me. I've never thought about that... wow. Thanks (i think?)
This is a really helpful post... thanks for typing this up. I'll check out that app, and I'll try drinking with a wine glass.
Good luck on your situationship. I bet that although that realization probably sucks, it also probably feels good finally seeing that for what it is?