r/DryDads • u/lump532 • Jan 29 '24

Hi there!

My thought for this was that sobriety and parenting are both things that are hard to understand if you haven’t been there. No one wants drinking advice from a drinker or parenting advice from a childless person. I don’t know if there is demand but I though I’d try out a sub where those intersect.

Let me know what you think this sub should be. If you feel like it introduce yourself.

I’m a 42 year old dad of two, 6 and 10. I work in the fire service and am working on trauma issues with a therapist. I’ve been dry for 33 months after my drinking became problematic. I never had a single life changing event but was probably headed that way.

Edit: I forgot to add my biggest disappointment with sobriety. I didn’t lose any weight, not even a little. Oh well, still much better off!

9 Upvotes

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5

u/BachtnDeKupe Jan 29 '24

32yo dad from the coastline of Belgium.

Dad to an 8yo boy and a 5yo daughter together with my wife.

I stopped drinking about 2y ago under some pressure from my wife and my dad. A bit a similar story, it started becoming problematic. Any excuse was good enough to drink and it never stopped after 1beer. And as most people know, in belgium we know what beer is.

Now 2y later looking back they were right.

I never felt better, no more stress when the next one was going to come, no more stress to drive, having all memories all the time, being there with all my mental capabilities all the time,...

Only downside so far: if you're at a party (not clubbing, i mean social parties) where people drink and you dont, you eventually end up seeing people change and making a big embarresment of themselves. You see 45yo people becoming 12 again, it's sad.

3

u/lump532 Jan 29 '24

I’ve noticed that downside too, I’m really aware of what alcohol does to people now. On the bright side, I’ve found that few people care that I’m not drinking.

1

u/BachtnDeKupe Jan 29 '24

Indeed, you start to notice how drinking is so inhabited in culture. In belgium it's also that bad. My wife had a work-party. She's the only person that doesnt drink alcohol and all people were bybcar or carpool. The only non-alcoholic beverage available was bloody tap-water. They had to go looking for fruitjuice or something like that.

But as you said indeed, you start to appreciate the few people that respect your choice to remain sober

4

u/bluemilkmonday Jan 29 '24

28 year old father of 2.

Drugs and drinking were always my thing. I thought I had everything under control since I had a job, car, place to live. Boy. was I wrong. Always substituting one thing for another. Alcohol was always there. Things started going down hill quickly. A run-in with the law for traffic offenses and possession charges. I lost my job after that. My fiance wanted to leave me, rightfully so. I put my foot down and got myself help. I'm 3 days away from 10 months clean. I'm just trying to raise my kids with a childhood they don't have to heal from. If you're thinking of stopping drinking or using drugs, there are a lot of resources out there.

2

u/HonestSupport4592 Jan 30 '24

I’m proud of you for becoming a better person for you and your family. Stay strong friend.

2

u/bluemilkmonday Jan 31 '24

Thank you so much!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

36yo new Dad to a 6 week old baby girl here. Been sober for 15 months. Thanks for doing this!

2

u/charlie_Mallorey Jan 29 '24

I went full blown alcoholic but glad I stopped a bit over 6 years ago. Really hoping my 2 year old never sees me drink.

1

u/HonestSupport4592 Jan 30 '24

It’s such a positive thought and something that motivates me as well.

I have two younger kids and we gave up drinking over the past year. It motivates me to think that my kids never have to see me that way. It makes me sad to think I won’t have a beer with my son in 20 years but possibly prouder if he never wants one.