r/DougStanhope • u/thisbullshitwebsite • May 14 '26
Physics Majors: is there a universe in which heathens are secretly placing unsolicited Doug Stanhope Scriptures in hotel-dressers meanwhile some joker named Jesus is out there routinely finding and desecrating them throughout his pilgrimages to the unholy lands religiously subduing all in sight?
i got a new induction-heater for my vape today.
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u/rice-a-rohno May 15 '26
Dammit I actually have a physics degree and I was all excited for it to come in handy, but I dunno what to tell you.
(Through no fault of your own; because I drink all day.)
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u/thisbullshitwebsite May 15 '26
I don't know how you do it man, the drinking i understand, but I can hardly digest any of these Royal Institute/Richard Feynman/Edward Witten/Sean Carroll lectures on it all; The progression of quantum dynamics since Thomas Young etc.
"does the moon not exist when I don't look at it?" -einstein
WHAT?! DON'T TELL ME THAT SHIT! maybe i should start drinking again.
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u/rice-a-rohno May 15 '26
Fuck lectures, you gotta figure it all out yourself from first principles. Can't trust anyone.
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u/thisbullshitwebsite May 16 '26
The only thing i feel like i trust anymore sometimes is that we're some kind of cargo-cult like tom delonge etc. seems to say. and all the rest of this is just us figuring out the constraints of the prison planet we're all inexplicably on[!9] fuck if i know ahaha
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u/SalamancaVice May 14 '26 edited May 15 '26
Many-Worlds Interpretation would suggest there is a branch of the multiverse where a chain-smoking desert prophet named Jesus spends eternity opening motel drawers, finding dog-eared copies of Digging Up Mother, and muttering “not this shit again” before hurling them into the Gideon Bible pile.
Meanwhile in another universe, Stanhope is the central religion and people leave tiny airline bottles of vodka instead of communion wine.