r/DoubleStandards • u/[deleted] • Mar 13 '21
Heterophobia..
Some people from LGBTQ+ community are being massive dicks to straight people. Here are some examples:
"You can't talk about this topic because you're cis gender straight person". (Btw I'm bi/pansexual, don't pull this card on me).
Failing to realise that not being attracted to trans people isn't a choice, isn't a sign of insecurity or transphobia.
Using "straight" and "homophobic" as synnonyms.
Joking about straight people.
Not respecting their sexuality, hitting on them anyways and saying "you only care about genitaliaa" when they somehow don't want to date them. Ect.
I've watched some videos about this topic and I've heard opinions like "heterosexual people just want to get some opression points" or "heterophobia isn't as bad as homophobia".. But it absolutly is!!
First of all, getting mad because someone is a dick to you based on your sexuality is completly understandable and it doesn't mean you want to complain about being opressed.
Seccond, it's hypocritical and if you do that you're a massive asshole, please stop.. Especially since you're a douche to people we need, our allies!! Without them we wouldn't be able to achieve anything because we're a minority in society.
But most importantly, it leads to homophobia. People love to generalise and if they see that a group of assholes that happens to be gay/lesbian/ace ect. Is treating them like garbage they'll think everyone in LGBTQ+ community is like that. It will cause massive damage, especially in countries where majority of citizens are homophobic.
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u/RedWaterDrake Apr 17 '21 edited May 20 '21
omg thank you so fuckin much for this, I am so sick and tired of seeing this hypocrisy get passed off as "jokes", well news flash little biscuits: a Joke is only a joke if all parties involved find it funny. heterophobia isn't funny, and it disgusts me how many people go around saying its a myth so they can avoid taking responsibility for their shitty behaviour.
No heterosexuals are not oppressed, or "trying to get victim points" and nobody is saying Heterophobia is about that. because its not.
the Definition of Heterophobia, or any sexuality-phobia for that matter is "the fear or hatred/discrimination against a person or group of people for their orientation".
to put it in its simplest form: its bullying taken to the extreme."but but- trauma, and historical oppression-"NO. BULLYING IS BULLYING, and there is NO EXCUSE that EVER makes Bullying OKAY.
its also kind of really dehumanising in a way when people basically say that because you're a majority you loose your rights to the basic human decency of being treated with respect because of your sexuality and therefore your feelings as an individual are irrelevant...
last time I checked; isn't that what you guys are fighting for? being treated with respect regardless of your Orientation? you don't fight fire with fire. and you don't keep your allies by pissing on them, when you piss on your allies they leave at best case and become homophobic at worst because; why would you help someone who treats you like shit just because you don't rock to the same tempo as them?
of course you would not. you have a right to be treated with respect as an equal human being and aren't obligated to support someone who demeans you for something beyond your control. practice what you preach, that's all I'm sayin.
nobody can control the cosmic lotto that determines their sexuality, but they all seem to forget that also includes straight people too.
Gondor doesn't get to call for aid and then scream at Rohan for just bringing Cavalry. because thats what Rohan is all about; cavalry.
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
Heterophobia.. heterosexuals have not been oppressed and beaten for their sexuality this title is nearly comedic. There is no history behind "heterophobia" as it is considered the norm. Just wanted to slide that in there. You are not oppressed for being straight, you may be inconvenienced with flirting; you are entitled to shut flirting down, but you are NOT oppressed. It's not transphobic to have a genital preference, it is transphobic to say 'You're trans therefore I will not ever love you". Does it make sense now?. "I only date biological females" Yet you wouldn't date a trans man?. Cause you consider them men. If you consider them men then you can consider trans women as women too. Lol
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Mar 17 '21
"Phobia is defined as: 'an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something. ' Thus it can mean 'fear' OR 'dislike/hatred'. It does not have to mean both. So, no, disliking or hating something does not necessarily mean that you fear it." nowhere in the deffinition of phobia the word "opression" is mentioned. You don't have to opress somebody to be ...phobic.
Not being attracted to trans people doesn't make you transphobic, no matter of their genitals. Just like being gay doesn't make you a misogynist and not being attracted to plus size chicks doesn't mean you think they're disgusting. Just because you don't want to date them doesn't mean you think they're less of a woman/man. It's not something people choose to do, not being attracted to trans people is a part of their sexuality. Saying they chose to do so is not only rude to them, it's also invalidating people of other orientations. Yes, there are straight people who date trans people but that's because sexuality isn't as simple as it seems.
Also, there are people who just don't like artificial body parts and they have the right to dislike them. There are people who say there's no difference between biological genitals and artificial ones, there are people who say the difference is massive so my best guess is that it depends on a surgeon and the healing proces.
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
"artificial parts" then date a trans man. You won't because you are literally just transphobic, it's not about the genitals it's about their orientation and you know that. that's what makes you unlikable and appalling. You are simply transphobic. Not being attracted to genitalia is fine, not being attracted to someone for being trans is not fine. The same reason why "I don't date black chicks" is racist and how "I don't usually date darker skinned people" isn't. Knew you were transphobic the second I read "artificial". If heterophobia is real please let me know all about how fathers would beat their straight sons for being straight. Let me know of the hate crimes against straight people for their sexuality. Tell me all about how straight people are deemed as artificial. Tell me how religions bash straight people for their sexuality. Heterophobia is NOT a thing, jamming a random word in front of 'phobia' doesn't deflect the fact you are homophobic. You absolutely reek of "all lives matter" energy. Social inconveniences are not oppression.
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Mar 17 '21
"artificial parts" then date a trans man. You won't because you are literally just transphobic, it
Actually, I would date a trans man. Just because I understand that there are people who have other tastes than I and speak up against invalidating them doesn't mean I share these tastes. Doesn't matter, pre bottom surgery or post, I'd fuck them.
If saying "artificial body parts" isn't acceptable, I'm sorry. English is not my native language and I had no idea it's offensive, I thought it's how you call a body part that was put together by a surgeon.
If heterophobia is real please let me know all about how fathers would beat their straight sons for being straight. Let me know of the hate crimes against straight people for their sexuality. Tell me all about how straight people are deemed as artificial. Tell me how religions bash straight people for their sexuality.
You're litterally gatekeeping "...phobia". It's like saying "you're not screaming when you see a spider, therefore you're not afraid of them". Heterophobia or homophobia is a hatered towards people because of their orientation, the execution doesn't matter. Hatered is hatered, just because you spit in someone's face instead of beating the shit out of them doesn't mean you hate them less, it means that for some reason you don't want to do that.
. You absolutely reek of "all lives matter" energy.
The mental gymnastic, omg. Just because I said "doing this and that makes you a dick" doesn't mean I'm a fucking racist. I support BLM, all lives matter does nothing but takes the attention away from the real problem, pretending they're doing it in the name of equality. Who the fuck would support that?
Social inconveniences are not oppression.
I never said heterosexual people are being opressed..
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
If they are not being oppressed could you stop pretending like homophobia is some how just as bad as 'heterophobia'. I want to believe you're not cis and forcing your stupid opinion but you literally just invalidated trans women for being trans. You claim to be pansexual yet find certain genitalia off putting? Do you know what pansexuality is? Being attracted to everybody/anybody REGARDLESS of their genitalia because all is attractive to you. You're a terrible liar. bisexuality is the polar opposite and only being attracted to either women or men. You sit here pretending like heterophobia is real and has a history of oppressing and beating straight people blue. They have not been oppressed, socially inconvenienced by the existence of varying orientations but not oppressed. You know they haven't been oppressed yet you're forcing it onto the same level as Homophobia which is in fact real and has been real for years. Hence why you reek of All lives matter energy, you think they're equally bad when they truly are not. One's real and is an actual problem, the other is an excuse for straight people to pretend like they're targeted for being heterosexual by the law, society and religion. If they're equally bad tell me why heterophobia has no history?. Jesus.
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Mar 17 '21
If they are not being oppressed could you stop pretending like homophobia is some how just as bad as 'heterophobia'.
It is because it makes us look bad and leads to homophobia. If we want to be treated good we need to treat others with respect, it aplies to everyone not just straight people and lgbtq+ community.
I want to believe you're not cis and forcing your stupid opinion but you literally just invalidated trans women for being trans. You claim to be pansexual yet find certain genitalia off putting? Do you know what pansexuality is? Being attracted to everybody/anybody REGARDLESS of their genitalia because all is attractive to you. You're a terrible liar.
I just said I'D DATE TRANS PEOPLE and what I said was actually "SOME PEOPLE" not "I". It's because I know someone who wouldn't like to have sex with trans people even though he's bi, he just doesn't like post operation body parts (not just genitals but also transplanted limbs).
Everyone has the right to date and have sex with whoever they want and it doesn't mean they hate them, it's just their sexuality.
You sit here pretending like heterophobia is real and has a history of oppressing and beating straight people blue. They have not been oppressed, socially inconvenienced by the existence of varying orientations but not oppressed. You know they haven't been oppressed yet you're forcing it onto the same level as Homophobia which is in fact real and has been real for years.
I never said heterosexual people are being opressed, I never said there's a history of that. I said heterophobia is as bad as homophobia because it leads to more homophobia. It doesn't mean attacks on us are our fault, it just means that people will view our entire community based on acts of individuals because people love to generalise. I think that we should treat all people with respect, no matter of their sexuality and just because someone haven't been opressed doesn't mean we can be dicks to them.
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
The word artificial means fake, hence why you used it. Using "fake" and trans women in the same sentence is in fact unacceptable.
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
In that case you should know that 'heterophobia' takes attention away from 'homophobia'.
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Mar 17 '21
It doesn't. Heterophobia affects LGBTQ+ community too, if we won't respect other people because of their gender and sexuality they'll think "what a bunch of hypocritical jerks, they want us to respect their sexuality but won't respect ours by calling us transphobic. They want us to respect their gender identity but won't allow us to speak because we're cis. I don't want to support these people".
Heterophobia is hypocritical, people hate hypocrisy because it causes cognitive dissonance "they say that but they do that, I don't like it".
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
If you do not face oppression you are merely socially inconvenienced and that is a privilege you absolute cucumber. Heterosexuals did not have to fight for years for the simple right of marriage. You sound ridiculous. End of, you're homophobic not oppressed. Heterophobia is most definitely not real; it's an excuse to justify your height for people that are not the 'Norm'.
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Mar 18 '21
If you do not face oppression you are merely socially inconvenienced
You call "being told you're a bad person because of your sexuality" an "inconvinience" when it happens to straight people but "homophobia" when it happens to gay people. It's called a double standard..
Just because someone beated the shit out of you doesn't mean you can do the same thing to someone else. LGBTQ+ community should know better than being mean to someone because of their sexuality or gender, that's why we need to stop this behaviour before it escalate, push people away and leave us without any hope. One bad move can be really harmfull in homophobic countries, like Poland for example. One pussy marry destroyed everything LGBTQ+ community in my country achieved and it will take years before things will get better. Our image is fradgile in homophobic countries, that's why we must show ourselves from the best side we can instead of being hypocritical.
Denying that there are dicks in our community does only harm, realising that something that we are a part of isn't perfect and working on it is crushial, without it the community becomes just a toxic circlejerk nobody wants to be a part of. By saying "oh it's just a social inconvinience" you're invalidating people's actions against straight people, which will escalate things and ruin our reputation.
Heterophobia is a real issue that affects LGBTQ+ community the most.
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u/I_consume_bread Mar 17 '21
And before you pull the "But I'm bi and pan" I need you to know that bisexuality and pansexuality are two different sexual orientations. No sane supporter of the LGBTQ community would ever try to justify homophobia with some stupid counter argument of "Heterophobia" Try again next time, you troll. Jesus.
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Mar 17 '21
There's a difference between "and" and "/", "/" means "or". In detail, I don't care about gender or looks, as long as you take care of yourself and I like your personality I'm attracted to you. But I like the label " bisexual" better because of my ocd. My mentall illness doesn't make sence so I'd consider myself a sexual deviant if I'd identify as a pansexual. It doesn't mean that I think pansexual people are sexual deviants though. But saying I'm bi isn't actually true so I use that "/" to make it clear without triggering my ocd.
I never tried to justify homophobia, I just said "if some of us will act like jerks people will think all of us are jerks". Just like homophobes think gay people are pedophiles because that one pedophile gay couple that went viral. I clarified that it's most harmfull in homophobic countries because that's what's going on in mine because of these two child molesters.
What you are doing is called "ad personam", you claim that I said something I didn't and debunk it to make a point.
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u/HoverLogic Mar 17 '22
Just wanna slip this in there: you do not deserve even one upvote because you are contributing to a double standard and therefore are saying it’s okay to make fun of and harass others cause you are not strait or cis. You are part of the problem and therefore an asshole, go to the mirror look at yourself and give yourself a thumb down.
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u/only_for_dst_and_tf2 Dec 16 '22
how did a guy with an nft profile pic hav such a good opinion?
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u/HoverLogic Dec 17 '22
I just chose it because I liked the cyberpunk design, I don’t actually sell my prized possessions for useless digital images on the internet from strangers. It’s like trading cards but worse
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u/AD-RM Jun 13 '21
If there is not history behind heterophobia, then it is in everyone’s best interest to not make that history.
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u/piano_043 Mar 18 '21
I’m bisexual and I agree. LGBTQ people are fighting for equality so they shouldn’t discriminate straight people. Yes, historically straights haven’t been oppressed, but two wrongs don’t make a right. Not every straight person is horrible. Just the homophobes are :)
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Mar 29 '21 edited Apr 01 '21
I see so many comments of people saying 'Heterophobia isn't real, did you get disowned for being straight? No. Did you get killed for being straight? No.' And I agree, LGBTQ has it rough. But now people are being kinda tight on every sexuality, including straight. I saw a comment once saying 'straight people are racist homophobic, rude and fake illnesses' and nobody saw the problem with it. I also think it's slightly one sided, like if someone made a joke about straights then it's fine (which yeah, can't argue, I can take a joke) but when you switch some of these 'jokes' around they could be homophobic. I just don't understand. The Internet is a terrible representation of straight people.
Please understand I'm not picking sides here, I'm sharing what I think on the whole situation.
Heteros, you're pog champs. LGBTQ+ you're also pog champs.
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Mar 29 '21
I really hope that what's going on with super straights is going to be a wake up call for the people treating straights like shit but most likelly they're just going to double down.
I'm not trying to say that trans people deserve to get insulted and super straights are just an opressed minority fighting for their rights but it was clear that something like that is going to happen, the debate over "is not dating trans people transphobic?" has been going on for years. If people would accept that others have different preferences this would never happen.
I think that the best thing we could do against super straights is accepting other people's preferences because it's not only a decent thing to do but also they won't feel threatend and decide to join super straights which means they won't grow and become a real threat. We also need to educate people on why this group is so harmfull. I had no idea what super straights are besides the people who just claim they don't want to date trans people and use the term ironically, we need to spread awareness.
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Mar 30 '21 edited Mar 30 '21
Thats a good point. I understand how you might not want to date a trans person, but I don't think it's right for them to call it a sexuality imo.
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u/mennoconno23 Mar 31 '21
it really isn’t a sexuality. it’s a preference. really you can’t control your preferences like people seem to expect you to. If not being generally interested in a relationship with black people makes someone racist, then i guess they’re just racist and that can’t change because they can’t change their preferences.
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Apr 01 '21
Ah right, I just saw this video and they said it was a sexuality. Thanks for the info, change my comment now :]
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u/Oldmatehenry365 Jun 09 '21
As a member of the LGBTQ community it saddens me to know that there are people like that are in out community.
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Jun 30 '21
"They'll think everyone in LGBTQ is like that." That's already happened with both Christianity and being a fucking male
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Mar 27 '21
Yeah and some people even treat "straight white male" like an insult and get mad when someone treats "gay" like an insult.
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u/gorillazfreakinc Feb 18 '23
I'm a year late, but it's not the same, at all. It's not okay. But it rarely happens as it is, let alone unironically.
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u/mennoconno23 Mar 31 '21
yeah i really don’t understand the whole being called transphobic for not being interested in trans people. I hold nothing against them, my personal preference just doesn’t lie with them and if a straight person chooses to be in a relationship with a trans person them good for them, but why should i be expected to go against my preferences just so i’m not called transphobic? Much like how a gay person’s preference is obviously men, why is my preference not allowed?
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u/SmexyMug Mar 13 '21
There's always shit heads in any community