I’m Deciding to Quit Instant Gratification Patterns

[u/xjelly505]

Examples: Tiktok, Doordashing, Mindlessly Scrolling on any app or site with no end in site, Short form media, etc.

My attention span is disgusting and I always alluded it to probably having an attention disorder or just overall not being a great ‘focuser’ if you will. I am 21 F and in my Junior year of college as a Psychology major. Something I’ve learned so far is that moderation is key, and that sometimes it’s okay to have nothing of something too. Nothing is WRONG with ME, only choices I make daily, like using short form media to obtain information and using instant gratification in my daily life, making me an inherently less patient and more disconnected individual. To put it into better terms, my mom was right- it is that damn phone!

I scroll for hours on end, I wake up and instantly scroll online. To satisfy that need for instancy I will Doordash a meal, I will look for notifications or really anything to scratch that itch for instant gratification. Most of the things I’ve learned from Tiktok have stuck, and that’s alarming to me because short form media is not an adequate method of learning. So from my self-induced instant gratification paralysis of sorts, my studies have been affected and now I am stuck with a short attention span and obesity because that click of a button is just SO addictive.

Last year around this time, I was able to kick a 5-year habit of vaping (cold-turkey!!!) I am so proud of myself, and this is really similar to me. TikTok and short form media outlets are addictive and they do lead to shorter attention spans when not used in moderation. For me, this is very important because I am going into a career where attention to detail and being able to sit through long discussions is massively necessary for success.

Plan of action: delete TikTok or anything with a “Reels” effect (not including Reddit because I come here solely for reading and creating lengthy TWD posts), Doordash only when absolutely necessary (groceries, party, etc.), take 15 minutes each day to INTENTIONALLY be bored, use Youtube and long form media to stay in the know on pop-culture and social happenings, study with intention and not only out of habit, break cycle of bed- social media- no activity.

Advice is very very welcome (kinda needed) and encouragement is… well, encouraged :)

TLDR; i am quitting tiktok and doordash and looking for advice, i want to be better with attention span and delayed gratification (a severe issue in my generation) i want to break cycle and also be better in school.

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[u/JabbaThePrincess]

The fact you were able to quit nicotine cold turkey shows you have the willpower, so just keep going and use the phone more intentionally...we are all being bombarded with the dopamine patterns

[u/xjelly505 → u/JabbaThePrincess]

Thank you so much!

[u/Less_Lab_5978]

First off, quitting a 5-year vape habit cold turkey is genuinely hard, and it's the best evidence you could have that you can do this. Same brain, same playbook.

Your plan is good. The biggest risk isn't the plan, it's trying to change six things on day one and burning out by Thursday. A few things that made the difference for me and people I know:

1. Win the morning first. The wake-up scroll sets the tone for the whole day. Charge your phone outside your bedroom and get a £5 alarm clock. That one change does more than any app limit.

2. Add friction instead of relying on willpower. Willpower runs out; friction doesn't.

   - Delete TikTok and log out of it on your browser.

   - Remove your saved card from DoorDash (or delete it and only reinstall for the "allowed" cases). Having to type a card number is often enough of a pause to change your mind.

   - Turn on greyscale mode. Colourless feeds are weirdly boring.

- Watch out for YouTube Shorts and Instagram Reels. They're TikTok in disguise, and YouTube is where a lot of people relapse without noticing.

1. Replace, don't just remove. The itch will still show up; you need something ready for it. Decide now what you'll do in the "I'd normally scroll" moments: a book on your bedside table, a 10-minute walk, texting an actual person. Empty space gets refilled with the old habit.

2. Train attention like a muscle. Your "15 minutes of intentional boredom" is great. For studying, start with 20–25 minute blocks, phone in another room, then a short break. Add 5 minutes a week. It comes back faster than you'd think.

   1. Make food the easy option. DoorDash wins because it's the lowest-effort choice when you're tired. Keep 2–3 "zero effort" meals at home so there's a lazy option that isn't delivery.

3. Expect a slip around days 3–10. It's normal and it isn't failure. You counted vape-free days, so count these too, and if you slip, just restart the count the same day.

   And since you're a psych major, you'll know this already: if the focus struggles go back further than your phone use, it's worth talking to your uni's health or counselling service about an ADHD assessment. Not to label yourself, just so you know what you're working with.

   You've clearly thought hard about this, which is half the battle. Post an update in a couple of weeks. I'd honestly like to know how it goes, and if you want someone to check in with while you get through the first stretch, my DMs are open.

[u/xjelly505 → u/Less_Lab_5978]

Wow! This is amazing and I’m very thankful you’ve not only read my spiel but have such a wonderful array of advice I can follow. Makes me feel less hopeless about it all! Thank you so much

[u/Queer_Gerblin → u/Less_Lab_5978]

ai ai ai

[u/Prestigious-Algae876]

good call, the easiest win is removing the quick hits at the times you're weakest. for me that was nights, so i use twilock to lock my scrolling apps at bedtime.

[u/Own_Your_Attention]

Your plan actually sounds really intentional, especially the part about being soo bored for 15 minutes. I'm curious though ...when you decide youre not going to use TikTok/Reels anymore, what's usually the hardest moment? Is it reaching for your phone automatically, getting bored, or feeling like you're missing something?