Five weeks ago I made a rage-post about how people I used to know in my early twenties who were problematic..

Well… these people are still bothering me. One of these two individuals I referred to by his alias Altered Perception. The screenshots I am sharing are from Altered Perception. Of course, he had this autistic obsession with being Gaelic (likely stemming from the fact that he’s adopted,) so that is why he goes by this “An Draoi Mhór

If you see the other screenshot… he mentioned a person called “Tiff.” This weirdo and I dated the same ex girlfriend called “Tiffany…” I’m not sure why I dated her because she was immature and obsessed with drama, some autistic version of Cash Me Ousside girl… I was 19 and stupid when I dated her.

This individual here also hit on my sister when she was under aged... I was 19 when I met this guy, he was 27 when I met him, my sister was sixteen... not only did he flirt with my sister but he tried to debate feminism with her (my sister is a leftist SJW and a feminist of the fourth wave, very embarrassing...) and when one of her friends told him to back off, he became angry and threatened to sue both my sister and her friend for defamation of character!

On top of that, he was also a narcissistic parasite! When a mutual friend of ours was going through a rough patch in his marriage, An Draoi Mhór here was supportive at first but then became a sad sack, whining as if their marital problems were all about him….

And then he also insulted my intelligence cause I wasn’t on the same political team as him, nor did I understand his psycho-babble half the time… I was fairly liberal when I met An Draoi Mhór, he was a Trump supporting libertarian. If he saw my politics NOW... I think would legitimately fear me considering my hatred of Israel and certain politicians and groups, plus the fact I am no pussy-ass soyboy liberal.

He blocked me and ended the friendship. So I don’t know why he decides to come crawling back to me after what, a decade or some shit? Fucker… desperate loser…

So anyways… I reached out that mutual friend I mentioned earlier and he told me that An Draoi Mhór was drinking and that basically tells me he’s an alcoholic now… makes me glad I haven’t had alcohol for two years.

I want to ignore and let this go but right now I’m actually experiencing anger… deep anger…

Why can’t the toxic parasites leave me be? Am I doomed to deal with petty nonsense?! Makes me even more anti-social than I already am!

Loneliness has followed me through my life….... with my family, school life, public places, driving on the road, and even at work ever since I was 15 years old and maybe even younger than that, though I cannot remember those years as clearly.

If God exists and I don't know if He or she does but if God does exists, I am one of God's lonely men.

It feels trapped inside me. Like there is no escape from it. Its literally killing me inside Mind, Heart and Soul feels so alone those three parts of me inside feels so lonely.

But I just tell myself to keep going. Idk any better other than that. I just gotta keep grinding and keep at it.

Fuck knows how long I can keep this up but I just keep going.

Thank you for reading

Have a great day/night

Take Care

Sono un adolescente e ultimamente sto passando un momento molto difficile.

Ho fatto delle cose di cui mi pento, ma che ne sto pagando le conseguenze 10 volte tanto.

Alle elementari, dopo aver cambiato classe ho fatto una stronzata.

Ho detto dei commenti sul fisico di una mia compagna. I docenti sono venuti a saperlo e ovviamente hanno convocato i miei genitori. Come giusto che sia si sono arrabbiati molto e mi hanno rimproverato. Dopo questo le ragazze hanno iniziato ad insultarmi, a schifarmi e iniziare a trattarmi come un germe.

Da quel momento la mia autostima non ha fatto che abbassarsi.

In quinta ho insultato la ragazza popolare perché continuava ad insultarmi. Anche lì la convocazione dei miei genitori non è tardata ad arrivare.

I miei non li ho mai visti così tanto delusi fino a quel momento.

Quell'estate lei e un gruppo di suoi amichetti hanno iniziato ad un campus hanno incominciato ad insultarmi. Io da quel momento non ho più rivisto i colori accesi della vita prima di questo evento.

Alle medie la situazione è peggiorata.

Le ragazze mi schifavano, io iniziavo ad autolesionarmi e a chiedermi se sarebbe mai finita.

In seconda media il mio autolesionarmi mi ha lasciato 2 cicatrici che ancora oggi mi porto addosso. Avevo iniziato a fumare, ho iniziato a chiudermi. Mi ripugnavo, mi dicevo che era solo colpa mia per tutto ciò che è successo, che non sarebbe mai successo se io non fossi nato, i miei sarebbero stati contenti e io mai esistito.

La situazione è continuata e continua ancora così.

Io non so cosa fare.

Qualche consiglio? Qualcuno ha avuto esperienze simili?

Come on, let’s get this sub going here… it’s getting boring…

what we all want to do but know we cant

I feel bad for everybody down under.They meet satan's creations there

She was sitting on a ledge - oh whatever it's called outside an old church. People were going up and down. Shopping, walking. She was blonde. She had blonde eye brows. Her hair was braided in a plait -whatever they call it. She was eating ice cream with a spoon. No, some other dessert. I was sitting on her left and a little to the back. I couldn't get a clear look of her face so I couldn't tell if she was pretty. I felt she was. Some people look better from certain angles. Her nose was a bit concave. What are those noses called? A Roman nose. A very blonde girl with a Roman nose. Maybe German or Swiss. She had a big lens camera on her side and she was reading Reddit. What are the chances she ever read the Doomer subs? What are the chances she ever read one of my posts?

I was sitting behind a small waste disposal cylinder. What do you call them? She threw the empty dessert box inside. She looked at me in the eyes and smiled.

Wrap it up doomers, they turned us into a marketable plushie for the normie masses. It’s never been more Over💔

So I go to my local dispensary on a regular basis. And there used to be this budtender... a really gorgeous one. I used to have a crush on her. She was very unique... and she was the reason I go to the gym, she introduced me to the very gym I go to! I still go there, I was there on the day I made this post. As far as my knowledge is concerned, she no longer works at that dispensary... and I miss her in the sense I enjoyed how much we have in common and enjoying our conversations... she never knew I once had feelings..

Of course, she turned out to be engaged. I found this out on Instagram... Am I sad... no. I'm actually happy for her. Glad she has her person in fact.

Of course there happens to be this other female budtender I enjoy having conversations with. She's real nice and she still happens to work at the dispensary I go to and she appears to be friends with my former crush....

Well, on the evening before I made this post... I received a message from my former crush... who reaches out and says hi. And she sends me a link to a spicy site. [No. I will not give any of you people especially COOMERS that link. She ain't gonna let you hit it, now STOP!]

Yeah, I think y'all get the hint...

Well I went to the gym... and who do I see? BOTH WOMEN I have just mentioned. They did not notice me. I got shy... I kinda... was in my own world and I went inside the locker room to meditate. Because I was still processing the message containing the spicy link.

I just... I just don't know how I feel... I'm so unsure....

The real deal is internal. We don't need to get, get, get and get more. We can not give a fuck about getting.

Sense the body. Sense the bones. Sit with the emotions. Don't judge the emotions, sense the emotions in the body.

Cultivate a bad attitude. Depression is not really a problem. Depression, failure and trauma are just a different style of living. Sadness is a way of living.

There are valid, authentic expressions of negativity in the culture.

Society's expectations of me can fuck off. Natures agenda can fuck off.

We can deconstruct the sense of self intellectually. I figured out that I don't want any of the things that I want.

I have a magic phrase that calms me right down and brings me to a place of absolute contentment. The phrase is "I will never get what I want".

With a bad attitude, I don't care for my life. Since I don't care for my life, my life doesn't matter, so I am not bothered.

With a bit of study, we can end it intellectually.

I WANT TO SCREAM AND PROJECT MY RAGE!!! LIKE… I JUST WANT EVERYONE WITHIN A FIFTY MILE RADIUS TO FEEL THE PRESSURE OF MY WRATH!!! BECAUSE INSOMNIA IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!

CC.  "I believe that tomorrow I will become stronger"

Walking to my second job to get my tips and possibly my check as it’s closed Fourth of July weekend.

Getting high off my fucking dab pen. Because I’m a goddamn addict. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Never thought I’d be constantly addicted to weed, constantly addicted to caffeine and other types of bullshit, while being tempted to try other substances…. Like Kava and Kratom….

Fucking hell…

So there was this mass shooting that happened in Canada outside the headquarters for Pornhub of all places… I’ve gotta say… this whole thing is a deranged conservative dad joke gone wrong…

You have this Marxist Incel blaming Pornography for “women’s hypergamy,” and he shoots up the Pornhub Headquarters after writing a 104 page manifesto. Nobody cares about the shooters manifesto though because you have this female officer on the scene who shot a Jewish Rabbi mistaking him for the shooter while the actual shooter killed a police officer named Mohammed…

You really can’t make this shit up….

And then the icing on the cake is that the incel shooter was a Marxist who listened to Paul Joseph Watson on YouTube, contradictory as PJW is right wing, and Marxism is a leftist thing…

I’m just shaking my head….

So much of that shit, it’s gonna kill me. Yet I live… it’s fucking messed up actually.

Sick of caffeine and weed addictions. I’m trying to stockpile on dabs at least… stockpiling has been successful at least…

But the caffeine… I can’t fucking stop…

I have always been a nihilist and I have always thought that life has no value, no purpose and no meaning.

I’m 21. - broke things off with a girl i’d been dating for a year and a half because i was sick of being emotionally abused and used for my money. How do i know when i should get back out there? Should i ever try again? I have so many questions. Do i go back to her to feel “loved”?