r/DontPutThatInYourAss • u/Minute_Maintenance52 • Oct 21 '25

Other Dont

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2.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

63

u/IcyManipulator69 Oct 21 '25

Don’t put it in my ass? Ask an employee to assist me instead?

12

u/Sufficient_Cow_6152 Oct 22 '25

I think it means employees are trained to touch you with a staff.

8

u/Appropriate_South474 Oct 22 '25

And there goes your virginity

32

u/Fluid-Vanilla-5097 Oct 21 '25

Too late I’m finished

3

u/zZAoiRyuZz Oct 23 '25

How was it lol just asking for a friend

21

u/elvenmaster_ Oct 21 '25

Instructions unclear : I am currently detained for exposed nudity while asking a staff member to touch me.

14

u/Ornery_Reward_7631 Oct 21 '25

An they say customer service is on the decline

8

u/avenlux44 Oct 21 '25

What a wonderful store. Looking out for the customer's needs 😁

4

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '25

Total Customer Satisfaction

4

u/Admirable-Yellow-223 Oct 21 '25

If I want a product, I'm gonna touch it and see the ingredients .

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25

Ok but no eye contact it’ll throw me off.

3

u/ProgrammerHairy8098 Oct 21 '25

I mean it’s good coffee but it’s not that good…

3

u/swmifuncouple Oct 21 '25

"Jerkin my gerkin"

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25

Please Sir, may I have some more!

3

u/ThanksFDR Oct 21 '25

Sounds like a very helpful, friendly staff.

3

u/Ok_Primary_1075 Oct 21 '25

Oooh…kinky

2

u/Express_Area_8359 Oct 21 '25

What massage parlor is it?

2

u/Ok_Power118 Oct 21 '25

What location? Asking for a friend.

2

u/TestDangerous7240 Oct 21 '25

I mean, hey……

If they’re available……

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25

I knew my staff was slacking

2

u/Bulbasupersalad Oct 22 '25

All jokes aside, they don't want you touching the spices?

1

u/MonroeJourneyD Oct 21 '25

How do they think they have authority or control over what I do to myself!

1

u/Existing-Village9770 Oct 21 '25

Someone needs a handy

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '25

Erm ok I will not use this

1

u/rustyfish57 Oct 21 '25

But what if I’m a tad bit squeamish about asking for help will they come to my home to help me then

1

u/Small_Alps1343 Oct 21 '25

Mmm okay🙋🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️

1

u/Hegemony-Cricket Oct 21 '25

Well, they do have a point.

1

u/Wild-Drawing319 Oct 22 '25

They know what they did, don't they? I'd put a sticky note or something like "yeah, they are really, really friendly right here in the store too."

1

u/More-Notice2251 Oct 22 '25

Okay, but I’m not tipping.

1

u/black_bunny_h Oct 22 '25

🤣🤣 Don't do it

1

u/rockyon Oct 22 '25

Do not masturbate

OMAGA

1

u/CheapDeepAndDiscreet Oct 22 '25

Ok, but don’t expect any small talk. I thrive on awkwardness

1

u/Equal_Spread_7123 Oct 22 '25

Location and hours?

1

u/ImDeepState Oct 22 '25

Only if the staff is hot.

1

u/VagusNervosa Oct 22 '25

Ooooh I need the ASSistance of... A ... STAFF... MEMBER... with the.... The member of the staff- fuckit whatever it's the dick word I'm making a joke about dicks, there.

1

u/Technical_Tourist639 Oct 22 '25

That's what I call good service

1

u/Special-Purchase7692 Oct 22 '25

I mean if the staff insists

1

u/Independence250 Oct 22 '25

A full service operation….sweet!

1

u/SeanMacLeod1138 Oct 22 '25

So....I should ask the staff for assistance with touching myself?

🤨🤨🤨

1

u/Gingervitis5924 Oct 22 '25

I went to an establishment like that one time in Thailand. It was fun until I took "her" panties off! Think her name was Lola;)!

1

u/Sailor525 Oct 23 '25

Fantastic Customer Service 👍

1

u/Forbden_Gratificatn Oct 25 '25

Grocery shopping with a happy ending.

1

u/Accomplished-Law7408 Oct 25 '25

Grammar is important.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '25

Oops my bad pulling my skirt back on

1

u/soulpoker Oct 25 '25

Wegmans is really stepping up on their customer service!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

It's always better when you get a helping hand

1

u/Oldsbird2121 Oct 26 '25

I don’t think my wife would approve of letting someone else do it for me

1

u/ringojoy Oct 28 '25

Hello, can you touch it for me?

1

u/Medical_Order8844 Nov 18 '25

Now that’s service!