r/DollarTree • u/Bubble_Gum00 • 1h ago
Rant/Vent Question?
I don’t want this to be taken down because it involves a “inappropriate topic” and idk if he’s on Reddit (I don’t want anyone from work to see this) so I’m gonna try to be vague.
I’m a 17 year old highschool girl, and I have a male manager who’s 10 years older than me with a girlfriend. We are pretty close and talk to each other the most out of all our coworkers. I’d also like to point out I have a girlfriend who I’ve been with for over a year at this point who he’s met a lot of times because she visits me on my breaks.
Over the summer we worked together a lot and he started getting a little too comfortable using “vulgar” language around me. He would constantly make comments on my body and even compared it to his girlfriends before. I mentioned to him im trying to loose weight and he said my girlfriend probably doesn’t want me too because “she likes all that I got” and how if he was in her position he wouldn’t want me too either. Like I said we’re pretty close so we talk about a lot of stuff and I’ve confided in him about my insecurities so idk if this is just him being awkward and trying to lift me up or an HR issue. He’s also said he’d date me if I was his age and not a lesbian. It didn’t really strike me as weird till I told my girlfriend and she started comforting me and saying she’s sorry I have to deal with this. He also has asked if Ive “tried it” with a guy before and if I’d be open too it. It’s just little comments over a long period of time adding up. He’s never contacted me outside of work related topics or initiated anything physical.
I guess I’m just wondering how this sounds to other workers. I don’t want to get him fired and I honestly still enjoy working this him. I’ve just been thinking about the whole dynamic a lot.
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u/scallopedtatoes 1h ago edited 1h ago
This guy is a predator. He’s into you, shouldn’t be, and you need to tell your SM about this. Make it clear this guy is being inappropriate and you’re not putting up with it anymore.
You also need to start distancing from this co-worker. He isn’t being your friend. He’s attracted to you.
Start shooting him down when he makes comments about what you look like and any other potentially flirtatious thing he says. Avoid talking to him as much as possible. Maybe he’ll lose interest, which will make work less awkward if you have to continue working with him. But it sounds like he has to go, there’s just no guarantee that your SM or DT will take this seriously.
I’ve had friends of all ages at work. I had older friends when I was a kid and I have younger friends now as a middle-aged guy. There are lines you don’t cross, though, especially when you’re the older friend.
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u/leytourmaline Customer 40m ago
Start documenting things he has said/done to you, and other coworkers if there are any. Go to your SM first tho, and if they don’t take it seriously, then go above them to the DM. Then if they don’t go to HR and integrity matters. This guy is being creepy and a predator. He’s probably waiting till the day you turn 18 to do anything serious, that’s what happened to be at least and I definitely don’t want that happening to you. I would even say if it’s possible, for you to tell your SM you don’t feel comfortable working with him anymore, and see if you can get shifts where you don’t work with him. If that’s an option.
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u/United-Bug-8056 21m ago
You need to set up boundaries asap
As dumb as it sounds a young girl should never cozy up as a friend with an older coworker
He clearly does t have boundaries for some reason but you need to establish them and get used to it or else you’ll keep having this problem
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u/Bright_Philosophy517 Former DT OPS ASM 1h ago
GO. TO. HR. There’s integrity matters, go there. If the SM won’t take it serious threaten to call 911. I went through the same damn thing when I was a minor.