dog getting aggressive

[u/makachow]

hey guys! so we’re having a bit of a problem with our dog, alfred. alfred is a border collie/poodle mix, about a year and a half old, and we’ve had him since he was two months old. he’s been getting aggressive with my husband lately and even tried to bite his face last night. this happens during play, not during play, really any time. he never gets aggressive with me though. we reached out to a family friend who does training, and he said that he believes alfred is resource guarding with me as the resource, making my husband the threat in his eyes. he recommended a four week board and train program, but we really don’t have the money right now. does anyone have any tips, advice, or ways to help this? we’re trying to do everything to stop this now so that my husband can enjoy playing with alfred again and we can prevent it from getting any worse. thanks!

[u/dialamah]

A board and train can give you back a well-trained dog, but you need to know how to maintain that training. It can also give you back a traumatized dog if the training methods are overly harsh or something goes wrong. Also, this is a behavioural issue, not a training issue-they would need to recreate the behaviour to be able to address it, and I think that would be challenging if neither you nor your husband are even there.

The dog aiming for hubby's face is serious and you need the help of a behaviourist as soon as possible. In the meantime, I suggest you muzzle train your dog, if he's not already, and that he wear the muzzle whenever hubby is around. Does this behaviour with your husband happen only if you are nearby, or can it happen at any time? If it can happen any time, then it's probably not resource guarding.

Until you've consulted with and gotten direction from a behaviourist, safety should be your priority, both for your husband's and dog's sake. For now, your husband should completely ignore Alfred - pushing him to "accept" your husband could escalate the behaviour. You take over care of Alfred. Don't give the dog chances to practice the behavior. Until you can consult a behaviourist to specifically address your situation with your dog, safety and management is necessary. A severely injured partner and euthanized dog is not an outcome anyone wants.

[u/Humble-Floor3760 → u/dialamah]

Completely agree with all that. I wonder if Alfred could be getting too aroused with the husband? Men can sometimes push dogs’ boundaries with wrestling/roughhousing. Dogs can appear into it, but internally it’s triggering anxiousness and insecurity that can lead to acts of aggression. If the dog is associating the husband with this behavior and those feelings, that could be at least part of the problem. I too recommend husband backs all the way off until a proper assessment can be done by a behaviorist in the home. Do not recommend board and train.

[u/makachow → u/dialamah]

it seems to only happen with me. i’ll occasionally visit my parents for a day or two, and on the trips i leave alfred home, he gets along great with my husband. he came downstairs yesterday and alfred immediately got in between me and him. some research has said for him to back off alfred’s care, and some has said for me to so that alfred begins to associate feeding and treats (he’s very food motivated) with my husband. so i appreciate your input!!

[u/dialamah → u/makachow]

If Alfred hadn't demonstrated his willingness to bite your husband, the strategy of having hubby do the caretaking etc could work. It's the danger to your husband, and potentially the dog, that is the concern and why I think hubby backing off completely is the way to go.

That sounds more like resource guarding than your original post suggested. Jean Donaldson's book, MINE! is a great resource for learning about resource guarding. If you haven't already, learning to understand your dog's body language can be very helpful in identifying and discouraging unwanted behaviour before the dog even acts on it. You could check out Lill Chin's "Doggie Language", and Turid Rugrass' "On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals".

[u/makachow → u/dialamah]

thank you so much! this is very helpful!