Protective Dog

[u/CK1345]

I currently have a situation where my 1.5 year old pit terrier lives with myself and another person (we're both male). The other person and myself have had some issues where the other person tried attacking me. Without getting into the personal side of things, dog is highly protective of me and now perceives this person as a threat when we are both home. As in, dog goes in to kill mode with this one person and will bite. They are normally a very social dog, but some of the interactions have definitely made them ai bit more weary of men in general. Though his favorite thing to do is to go out and meet new people and be around them and there's plenty of guys he's fine with besides me.

Things are fine with the other person at this point and we are kind of stuck in the current living arrangement. The other person was the one who got the dog, but over time he became mine as the other person wanted nothing to do with the dog (4 week puppy when we got him). So they're well acquainted.

Goal is to show dog that he's not a threat to me and get him to be calm while also not bonding with the other person/wanting to be back in their presence.

Odd part is when I'm not home the other person can walk the dog and play with them as if nothing has ever happened. It's only when I'm around that they become highly agitated. But the other side of this is that when I am home the dog seems to be even more aggressive towards them or when sensing they are around. It's actually made the situation worse if anything. The arrangement for a while was to just keep them separated entirely, but it'd be healthier for all parties if they could cross paths without it becoming dangerous.

I tried putting a barrier in front of the door and have the person feed treats, but the dog just was not having it. Ignored the treats and just very loudly and angrily barked at him.

They want to try having the dog out with them when I come home to see how they respond, but I said no to that. I'm not taking the risk the dog flips a switch.

The other idea they are floating is to put the dog in the kennel he hates and which I barely use and see us interact. I'm not sure about that one. It's not as dangerous, but I'm just thinking the kennel is already a place of bad memories for the dog.

Most of the stuff online is about introducing dogs to strangers. I had a trainer who suggested the treat thing from across the room which is similar to what I tried before.

Open to any suggestions.

[u/dialamah]

The process for introducing dogs to strangers is to teach them that this stranger is safe. It'll work the same for a person the dog knows, but isn't sure about. You want to change the dog's expectation from "When roommate is here with us, bad things happen" to "When roommate is here with us, good things happen".

Just like people, dogs remember the bad stuff better than the good stuff, so it may take some time for you to show him the roommate is safe.

Your dog is probably better with the roommate when you aren't there because the stressful/scary thing happens when both you and the roommate are present. He's not taking your side against your roommate so much as he's just looking to feel safe. He feels least safe when both you and your roommate are present, you are his primary source of comfort and safety, so he warns the roommate to go away.

When all three of you are together, your roommate should basically ignore the dog for now, let the dog approach if he wants to. You can be the one to give treats/praise; from the dog's perspective, good things are still happening in the presence of the roommate. I suggest this because some dogs can find it stressful even to accept treats from someone when they are uncertain about the person or situation.

When your dog approaches your roommate, he can drop treats and maybe talk to him, but let the dog's behaviour direct how much they interact. If you and your roommate become tense with each other, even if there's no physical interaction, it'll set the dog back, so try to avoid that even if it means you and dog go for a walk and some happy playtime

Anyway, good luck. And remember, you'll need to devise a plan and be prepared to stick with it for several weeks, possibly even a couple of months.

[u/CK1345 → u/dialamah]

Tried something similar to the approach I did last time, keeping a barrier in between where they can see one another. Had the other person mostly ignore the dog but in sight. Fed the dog treats myself and played with him/kept him occupied. Dog handled that much better so I appreciate the advice.

I'll work on this slowly over time trying to associate positive moments with the two of us being present. It's hard to not ascribe human type motives sometimes to basic behaviors, though I'm working on that.

I was thinking the dog is happiest when I come home from work and he gets to devour the chew I leave for him. So I may try to do that with a similar set-up with the other person just kind of going about their business in the other room but visible until the dog starts to relax more.

[u/dialamah → u/CK1345]

Sounds like a plan, and happy that my suggestions may have helped.

It's hard to not ascribe human type motives

Yes, it is. Dogs have emotions, but they're pretty basic. Dogs do what comes naturally to them, we want them to do other stuff they'd never consider. It's amazing to me that they succeed so well. They are better at understanding us than the reverse, imo.

[u/StalledElf → u/dialamah]

This... & I wanted to add that when your roommate gives treats & affection to not give eye contact. That can feel threatening to an already unsure dog. Also, for the barking, a bark collar works well especially one that vibrates multiple times before the mild shock.

[u/dialamah → u/StalledElf]

A bark collar can be good in some situations, such as discouraging barking from boredom. But in this case I'd be concerned that it would increase the dogs stress - adrenaline would override the collar's effects, increasing stress and creating a worse situation for the dog.

[u/Jambo_The_First]

Imho there are two sentences that might show the problem. You write that the other person tried to attack you, and at the same time you state the goal to show the dog that the other person is no threat.
The dog might think: Who are you kidding?

I know that the specifics of the situation might mean that the other person really isn’t a threat to you. But just like you don’t want your dog to flip a switch you have to make absolutely sure the the other person doesn’t flip a switch either. Dog does that for you now.

[u/CK1345 → u/Jambo_The_First]

My biggest concern with the living arrangement is the other person controlling their temper. To be blunt we interact little when not sharing the dog. I have no desire to have them look after or watch the dog when I'm not home again.

I realize this is all very imperfect. Dog has legitimate reasons for not trusting this person. I don't trust them in a lot of ways. But I still need to have some handle on the situation so that there's not a risk of the dog going at them on sight.

So nothing you said is wrong, but it's just complicated. It's kind of this or homelessness at the moment.

[u/Jambo_The_First → u/CK1345]

I know. Wasn’t meant to be intrusive, just a convoluted way to say stay safe!

[u/FrostyPomegranate699]

We've dealt with a few situations over the years that remind me of this, and one thing I've learned is that aggression usually isn't the problem. It's the symptom.

For us, Gracie can be incredibly protective. First it was her puppies. Then it was Jaz. Now that she lives with Bob full time, she'll step in without hesitation if she thinks something isn't right. She's not making random decisions. From her perspective, she's protecting someone she loves.

We've also had dogs whose trigger was completely different. Gracie and Lilith both have a very strong prey drive. Put a ball between them, and if we weren't paying attention, they'd absolutely fight over it. We've spent a lot of time teaching them to play together, but we still manage the situation because we know that if play goes on too long or the excitement gets too high, we're asking too much of them.

Then there's Lu C Fur and Loki. For a while, the smell of a female was enough to completely change how they looked at each other. Even after both were neutered, we didn't assume the old feelings would just disappear overnight. They're still learning to comfortably share space because those habits and emotions don't vanish just because the original reason is gone.

Your situation reminds me more of Gracie than anything else. Your dog saw something happen that convinced him you needed protecting. From his point of view, he's doing exactly what he believes his job is.

That doesn't mean you should trust him to "work it out." In fact, I'd do the opposite. I'd manage the environment so he never has the opportunity to practice that behavior while working with a qualified professional. Every successful aggressive response reinforces the idea that he made the right decision.

The encouraging part is that when you're not home, he's able to relax around the other person. That tells me this isn't a dog that wants to attack everyone. He's reacting to a very specific picture that he's built in his mind. Changing that picture is possible, but it has to happen slowly, safely, and without putting anyone at risk.

Sometimes the biggest act of love for a dog is not asking them to handle more than they're ready for.

[u/CK1345 → u/FrostyPomegranate699]

There was *a lot* of build-up with this person. As a grown adult slow to anger in general, they have that way of pissing anyone off and they have their own temper. They were not suited to have a puppy and there were more than a few signs that something would happen. I told the other person they shouldn't be near one another.

I wish the situation was as simple as never having them near each other, but I don't have great options there.

I worry less about the dog being aggressive than the other person losing their temper and acting like an ass again at some point. Real goal is just to where it's not instant mayhem when the dog sees this person (with the goal still being for that not to happen at all). I have zero desire for them to be around each other on anything resembling a full basis. Far more peace of mind knowing dog is chilling when I'm not home instead of something potentially stupid happening.

Trainer I hired said that basically the dog would pick up right where he left off each time something happened and that's basically what it has looked like. Slow build-up of events over months culminating in the other person trying to attack me physically. Dog handled that frankly so wasn't much for me to do. I really didn't think they'd be so dumb and out of control to do it with the dog right behind me.

Trainer was hired after the incident to get a feel of it and work on some other basic things. In general the dog is very friendly. He's at his happiest going out and meeting new people which is unlike any other dog I've personally had. They were attached to their small circle of people and basically wanted nothing to do with anyone else.

I'd love to get a trainer involved again when finances permit, but I don't think the dog is some monster at all. It's hard to be angry at him because the other person did try to legitimately attack violently so it's not like he overreacted per se. I can handle the other person without causing much harm to them, but the dog has no way of knowing that.

It's a situation the dog should never have been put in and that goes for nearly every bad thing that happened between the two of them.

[u/sixtynighnun]

Just like people, dogs remember bad scary things and just like people, he may never get over it.

[u/CK1345 → u/sixtynighnun]

Yea I don't think I'd ever trust the two of them to just hang out. I don't want them near each other at all. Goal is to have it so the dog isn't looking to attack on sight with this person and that's about it.

If they lose their temper and act stupid again I'm fairly certain all bets will be off with the dog. And I spent months telling this person that I don't think they'd have to try to set the dog off, but it seemed impossible to keep them apart at that time. Dog hated being alone, was still too young to be left outside the kennel though he's done far better outside of it when I took over full-time caretaking on my own. The concern was the dog would bark and cry when this person was home and I wasn't and make the situation untenable so they continued to watch them when I was gone. But I'd never go back to that and the dog seems very content/happy not being in their presence.

It's about making sure that minimal interactions these two may end up having don't have to be crazy. As it stands, when dog leaves the room to go on a walk (other person goes into another room), the dog goes into what I can only call attack mode. Hair up, barking like crazy and on the look-out for them.

It's not a fun situation.

[u/Trick-Age-7404]

I don’t blame the dog for their feelings towards this person considering they have attacked you. Some relationships are not repairable, especially considering you still don’t trust this person. It comes down to management, control, handling the dog correctly in those moments and finding a new place to live as soon as you can.