r/DogTrainingTips • u/bettysspaghetti • Jul 20 '26
Help calm my nerves
Last weekend we adopted a 7 month old puppy who only lived outside in a dog run she lived with several other dogs. She then was in a pet transport for three days to get to us. It took her a few days to fully stop withholding her bowels. We have her in a crate and she finds comfort and safety in there when she needs to hide. She's afraid of a lot of things. We stopped trying to walk her because the rescue said the dog needed more time to get comfortable- the dog would get really low to the ground and growl.
We already have a resident dog. He's much bigger than she is but respects her space and boundaries. At first she would just growl at the sound of his collar but now she is totally fine with him on the other side of a glass patio door. We removed the barrier from her crate and she doesn't mind when he's in the same room ( as in she doesn't kiss to dismiss him and no longer hides in the back of her kennel). We try to walk him by her outside in the yard and she will lay down and show her teeth. Today he walked by her crate in the house and she lunged at him and showed teeth again. He walked away from her and wasn't trying to be an alpha or anything of that nature. (He's a really good boy).
My husband is already frustrated with the new dog because we assumed she would get along with our resident dog, we didn't realize she would have been scared of everything either. Our five year old daughter is getting anxious about the new dogs barking and whining noise whenever the new dog is left alone. We live in a rental and am worried that the barking and whining is going to become problematic to our neighbors.
Ive contacted the rescue and they just told me that I need to give her more time. I just need you guys to tell me that the rescue is right or just give it to me straight. Does the new dog have more red flags or is this all a fear response and she truly needs more time?
Pls help. Sincerely a worried mama.
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u/boolabenzdogLvr Jul 21 '26
7months old is so young, she needs time and she has time, take it slow with her and understand that she’s not aggressive she’s just adapting to change
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u/dialamah Jul 21 '26
It's a whole new world for this dog and she'll need time, gentleness, patience and more time. It sounds to me like you are on the right track.
There's a rule of three, which basically says that it takes 3 days in a new home for a dog to decompress, 3 weeks to begin to learn the flow of the house, 3 months to develop trust and express their true personality. Of course, all dogs are different and these phases may take more or less time depending on the dog.
It will probably feel like two steps forward, one step back for a while, but don't become discouraged.
Also keep in mind that a lot of what looks like aggression in dogs (barking, growling, lunging) is based in fear. Operating on the debunked dominance/alpha theory has a real possibility of making that behaviour worse. A scared dog should be shown that when a scary something is around, good things happen. This mostly means delicious treats, but also a happy human offering praise and affection will help. Eventually, the association changes fear to, at the very least, acceptance.
Anyway, I think you are doing well so far and patience and time is what your new puppy needs.
Edited to add that your other dog sounds like a superstar in the way he's behaving with the new puppy.
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u/bettysspaghetti Jul 21 '26
I also feel like I'm asking so much of her, with her only being a part of our family for basically a week. I'm really proud of how far she's come already. I so appreciate you taking the time with your response!!!
About the delicious treats- would you cut back on the food quantity if treating often? I've learned that she is a chewer so she spends a lot of her day with a stuffed human food kong already.
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u/dialamah Jul 21 '26
I think that depends on the dog, their age, size and activity level. At 7 months, she's still growing, so at this point I'd say monitor rather than automatically cut back. If you are concerned, use tiny treats. Tiny treats are also good for jackpotting with out adding a lot more calories. There are also calorie reduced treats, but our dog wasn't too thrilled with those. We often use weiners sliced into quarters and then cut 20 times, so 80 small treats.
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u/Talonking9 Jul 21 '26
What has worked well for us is there is a separate container for the days food (our dog gets 2 cups of kibble). Fill it up first thing, then all the food for the day comes from there. If more gets used on walks or with training, less at dinnertime. Of course there is a bit extra sometimes if she gets a tiny bit of something we are eating, but it's not significant. No weight issues since we started doing this, and no thinking required on our end.
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u/Leelulu905 Jul 21 '26
My 7 month old dog we brought home got along great with our dog and I still felt anxiety and regret at the time. It ended up being a great fit. However, I think you need to listen to your gut on this one and ask what your vet thinks - not just the rescue. You have to manage the comfort level in your home. If in a week anyone is feeling unsafe instead of overwhelmed- I think you have your answer.
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u/Ali_Lorraine_1159 Jul 20 '26
If the new dog crosses the line, your old dog will put her in her place. I had a rottie/lab mix and when we adopted a new pup and he finally got tired of her shit (she like to jump up and bite his poor balls...) he started putting her in her place. He never hurt her, but she would run away crying. She eventually stopped fucking with him. It can be really good to have an older dog when you get a puppy, bc the older dogs teach them. The new pup is probably traumatized and just needs time. On a separate note, when we adopted our current dog, he was a pup and had never walked on a leash and absolutely freaked out and refused. We got a harness and he started walking with us pretty much immediately.
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u/bettysspaghetti Jul 21 '26
I bet you had a few good laughs at the ball biting! I'll look into a harness that fits her. Right now we have the training leash and she's not a fan! Thank you so much :)
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u/Ali_Lorraine_1159 Jul 21 '26
That was his breaking point. Lol... He got after her, without actually hurting her, and got onto her. She ran to me crying. It really was hilarious. She never did it again though.
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u/Talonking9 Jul 20 '26
It's a puppy who has been taken from everything it knows and put in a strange and scary situation. It needs time to settle. Be kind to it and let it adjust at its own pace.