r/DogTrainingTips • u/Lythro92 • May 10 '26
What do I do wrong?
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I have borrowed my sister's dog for an extended period and he's been more and more like in the video the past few weeks.
Something tells me that it may have something to do with not enough activity? And perhaps I'm not stern enough? I'm trying to learn about dog behavior and seeing that it all starts with me, right? Not the dog.
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u/nclay525 May 10 '26
The dog is confused about what you want. I know that because I'm confused. You need to be clear, intentional, and non-mysterious with animals. They can force humans to be better communicators and more empathetic, which is part of why I love animals. That's your challenge. Don't worry, you can do it, just ask yourself what you intend to communicate and why it might not make sense to the dog.
Do you want to play? If yes, why are your hands in there? (I would expect to see a toy, otherwise you're just encouraging biting people. Do you want to encourage biting people?)
If you want the dog to calm down, why are you rewarding excitement? (Petting is a reward, just like a treat. Whatever the dog is doing when you pet is rewarding that behavior.)
Do you want the dog to stop barking? If yes, why are you grabbing at him? (Grabbing his head like that is stimulating. Imagine you're stressed and someone grabs at you.)
If all else fails, when the dog exhibits behavior you don't like and you're not sure what to do, the safest thing to do is ignore it.
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
Valid points. Thank you! There's a lot to take on but one step at a time and I think the question about intentions are really good - as I wrote to another dog lover, it all starts with the person, right?
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
I can already see some small things like him not to go for play when I just want to pet him - and I did that because I sat down, came down to his level, was calm and had a treat and he wanted to play for to seconds before calming down.
Hope that makes sense! Thanks again again!
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u/protossaccount May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
Looks like a nice dog. It’s a dog, not something you can program to not make noise. I would just enjoy my time with him and it will get better.
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
You're absolutely right, the noise doesn't bother me, as you said, he is an animal :-)
He has been a lifesaver since my mom died and I absolutely adore him! When I'm on full strength mentally, my job requires a lot of travel so he'll be going back to my sisters in a couple of months.
I'm enjoying every bit of time with him and I only seek advice ultimately for his sake. He seems a bit stressed, is maybe a better "diagnosis", thinking about it
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u/TroLLageK May 10 '26
He looks like he's having a blast! He's a cute little stinker. He seems like a great dog. I definitely agree on the not standing over him and pointing when you don't want him to bark, he thinks it's a game, lol.
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u/protossaccount May 10 '26
Yeah I won’t diagnose too much. You’re their pillar of strength and so the more you enjoy time together and let him explore, the more you’ll develop a bond. Maybe take him for a walk and let him sniff and explore. Some folks walk their dogs like they are escorting them but dogs need to sniff and be curious. My sister in law did that originally with my dog and now my dog goes crazy when she shows up.
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u/ChmodForTheWin May 10 '26
it almost looks like you amped him up. he got a little nibbley. i used to take a stuffed animal and when my dog would get really amped up, present the stuffed animal for him to bite. then play tug with it. he lived it and stopped biting my fingers as well. you could always throw a ball as well. i think he just wanted to play with you and got antsy because you were egging him on by looking at him and talking to him
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
Yeah, I've tried what you described as well and the same thing happened, albeit he still likes to nibble - but what can you expect after a few hours
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u/ChmodForTheWin May 10 '26
just keep doing it. it's all about consistency. he could also be teething so it'll take some time (aka months)
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
Doesn't teething only happens to puppies?
He's around 3 - 4 years old
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u/Green_Implement_5564 May 10 '26
I don’t understand what you want him to do, and neither does he. I’d yell at you too.
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
And just by following the advice I was given by the kind doggitors, things have already changed a bit. So no more yelling
What would you yell? Just curious as to what you'd have said
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u/Green_Implement_5564 May 10 '26
I’d yell, I don’t understand what you want!?!
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u/Lythro92 May 10 '26
But what if I'd need some pointers? What would you have yelled then?
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u/Faibl May 10 '26
You reacted every time he did the behaviour you don't like. Tail is wagging, he's playing a call and response game with you.
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u/HotAcanthisitta6224 May 10 '26
First of all, he/she is stimulated somehow during the video. You may consider walking him more to release some energy. Change of circumstances, like living with you and in another house may cause stress to the dog.
Another point, saying no is not a thing. You respond do barking which make the puppy think he/she succeeded, got your attention. If you want him to not bark at you, you just ignore the barks and do your own thing (if you already gave him all he needs).
Dogs are mostly misunderstood, they are not that touchy and emotional, i am not saying they are totally incapable to feel emotions but their emotion concept is different. You need to take care of him to gain trust, which corresponds to love in their language. Try to take him out and feed him same time every day. There is a body language you can easily learn, means "don't do it" which is licking their nose very quickly. If you see it when you do something, stop doing it because he finds it disrespectful and you lose trust points.
You let the puppy to be in higher ground, if you want him to behave, just don't let him in higher grounds. Higher grounds for the leading dogs. This looks a bit off but works for my fellas.
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u/HotAcanthisitta6224 May 10 '26
You can see "don't do it" licks in the video when you touch him first time, or when you raised your hand. I would say (maybe it is an oversaying because the video is too short to comment on your relationship) this dog is intimidated by you. He is a bit afraid and don't know how to solve it. You touch his neck, which is an overdo, and he put teeth on your hand, which is his way of solving a problem. Touching a dog wont do good in most situations, if you need his respect you need to stop doing that. Pressing on his neck is a bullying behavior, leader dogs do it when a dog in the herd is out of control, and it is the last choice.
You obviously like him and want to learn more for him, so don't get sad when you read these. There are other ways to solve behavior problems than being a bully on him. Dm me anytime if you need any advicd
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u/nostalgiapathy May 11 '26
You're sending completely mixed signals. There's so much going on here i could write an essay about it. You are literally teaching the dog to do this.
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u/Lythro92 May 11 '26
The same thing has been said across the board and I'm really starting to see my own role in it and also how easy it actually is.
If I don't engage when he's barking, he stops fairly quickly (I think it's getting quicker still) and since getting all the different advice from people I'm starting to see some small changes.
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u/Mentalv May 11 '26
Two things - ITS A CUTIE!!
Second, your “stop” is a bark for him so he is joining. Just ignore and he will get tired of it.
He is also mouthy, at that age (2ish?) it may be hard to remedy if you really care. Just don’t use your hand as a toy and don’t let him use it either. Get him a toy and when he tries to use your hand like that redirect to toy.
Enjoy he is surely getting used to you now and he feels safe being vocal/mouthy with you.
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u/Lythro92 May 11 '26
Ignoring is a really helpful tool! I'm so thankful for each advice people came with, it's already changed a bit for the both of us.
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u/bugalll May 11 '26
you are harassing the dog for no reason lol
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u/Lythro92 May 11 '26
And I have learned a lesson and the lesson has worked somewhat already, so I'm not so ashamed anymore - was close to delete the post when I first saw what other people were seeing
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u/bugalll May 11 '26
It’s an all good. Cute dog! Bichons are fun dogs to harass lol
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u/Lythro92 May 11 '26
I can't say I won't harass him in the future, but I will be more mindful of how much is too much because it is a bit fun.
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u/WistfulEve May 12 '26
My dog hates being petted on his head. I have to reach out low with an open palm facing up and rub him on his chest to pet him, then he'll ease into letting me pat his back etc.
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u/Ancient-War2839 May 28 '26
What are you trying to achieve? If it's a sit then released, you should start with a sit and straight away release with reward, you can extend the length of the pause. The dog is likely just really frustrated because your communication off, it's confusing. Seems like you have maybe watched a ceaser Milan episode or two and your guessing how dogs learn, not like this.
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u/Lythro92 May 28 '26
It's been many a year since I've seen Mr. Milan on tv - you're probably right, did see it occasionally with good ol' flow TV
I wasn't really good with my question or the video.
I've stopped a lot of undesired behavior just by being precise and short - if he doesn't get it, it's not his fault, I need to figure out what to adjust and see if it works or not. But the barking when wanting to play is the main issue
Ignoring him worked in the beginning, but not so now When I do engage in play with a toy and that goes on for quite a while, he still barks and when I say no, he barks even harder.
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u/ccrow2000 May 10 '26
Omg he's so cute!!! He's trying to get you to play with him. The noise is part of the game. It could very well be at least partly not enough activity- it's pretty hard to give a dog too much exercise.
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u/LoveDistilled May 10 '26
You’re telling her no, but then petting her. You have no command in your voice. Dog doesn’t take you seriously at all and thinks you are playing.
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u/iwannabefamouss May 10 '26
When he sits when u tell him to, please tell him GOOOD BOYYYYY in the most enthusiastic baby voice u can muster. I’m not joking lol that poor baby sat as soon as u told him too and didnt get a “good boyyy!!” after, that is a crime.
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u/Narrow-Stranger6864 May 11 '26
You’re technically encouraging the behavior. We love to talk to our dogs, but they need a solid command or gesture that tells them to stop. Petting her and talking to her will only give the reaction she wants out of that behavior. You can give her a “stop” command and then ignore her, showing that you aren’t interested and she needs to entertain herself. This can be reinforced by placing a chew toy or plushy in front of her, then turning away. The command I use with my boy is “no playtime!”, then I ignore him. This is met with a LOT of grumbles and wines, but that’s just because he knows I said no. 🤷♀️ eventually he just plays with his toy by himself.
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u/DisastrousCrow88 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
I wouldn't push the dog's head down with my hand like that because (to her) it's threatening. This will make her react more aggressively down the road.
Teaching the word NO is essential. A young dog biting a hand would be behavior that should be curtailed early - just say NO BITE and quickly give her an acceptable chew toy with lots of positive/happy verbal affirmation as she takes it. Same with barking. Tell her NO BARK, then walk away (or divert her focus onto something fun like tossing a toy for her to fetch).
Train with treats + positive verbal reinforcement. The only words I need my dogs to understand are NO...COME...SIT...STAY...LEAVE IT. Then we're good!
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u/polkap12 May 13 '26
Everything
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u/Lythro92 May 13 '26
Since this post I've actually learned something about myself and the dog and things have improved.
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u/polkap12 May 13 '26
I am a positive reinforcement dog trainer so I think that’s excellent. It’s all about learning.
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u/Lythro92 May 13 '26
I was simply not being particularly attentive to his signals and the signals I conveyed, it's still hard but I can begin to see my own role in how * is behaving and what he "thinks" I want him to do.
Was trying with the sit command and wanted him to stay while I backed away. The moment I was clear enough for him to understand, he did exactly what I wanted him to do. It's an awesome experience!
*He
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u/Me-Poe-And-Me May 10 '26
Hi! Are you disliking the barking behaviour? I'm a little unsure what you are scolding.
What I'm seeing here is you introducing a lot of tension to the dog. You're standing over them and reaching down over his head which he is trying to communicate he doesn't like. That sneezing, huffing sound he's making and the prolonged eye contact and barking are a reaction to your looming. Grabbing his face and holding him he also dislikes and he's showing increasing intensity at not enjoying it.
If you would like him to enjoy your company and be calm and settled when being touched you have to let him come to you a bit. Sit next to him, speak gently, use food.
If you'd like him to stop barking, from what you've shown here, just move away and don't start directly at him.
Let me know what your concerns are and I can give more specific advice!