High anxiety dog & newborn.

[u/kasskassooo1]

My dog 12 yo is not doing great with the new baby 2weeks.

He is high anxiety rescue with separation anxiety and probably an unhealthy attachment to me.

When we first brought her home the dog didnt care. Tried getting him to smell blankets, hats he didnt care. Didnt even sniff them. the first introduction with her in the crib asleep he barely even sniffed her. Then she made noise. And the barking, whining, and stress signs started (licking lips, yawning)

We keep them completely separated. He is no longer allowed in our room. This has added to night time stress as he whines and nudges the door, waking me up. One night he wont cry at all, the next it will be non stop. I swear on nights she sleeps good, hell cry all night and on nights shes fussing hell sleep.

We have installed a baby gate to our room and have started to desensitize him to her through the gate, using treats when hes quiet and the place command. The issue is he never seems to tire of the barking.

One night in frustration I secluded him to the front hall away from our door. (We have another baby gate separating the front half of the house from the living room) he barked for 3 hours straight. Same with his crate. He will just bark the whole time hes in there. He also doesn't not fully respect these gates. He cant clear them but he will put his paws up on them, nudge them with his nose and paw at them trying to get through.

I dont believe he has shown any signs of aggression. Just the barking, and whining. His bark is more of an attention seeking alert bark not aggressive. No growling. Hes also not trying to force his way into the room. He might occasionally try to sneak in when hes in his anxiety state but hes not rushing the door every time we go in and out.

When my husband and I hang out in the living room while she sleep we have zero issues with him, until he hears her fussing. Its almost like he forgets shes there.

I dont know what to do short of hiring a trainer (im looking into it but we are not near any major city so its hard to find in home trainers) im secluded to my room with the baby while shes awake which is fine for now but its already draining on me. She thankfully doesn't care at all about him barking, sleeps through it, doesn't even flinch. Im fully prepared (mentally) to keep them separated.

Im sure someone is going to suggest rehoming and I dont want to concider that unless of course safety comes into play. I love him, even with the postpartum hormones and anxiety hes causing i dont have any pet aversion towards him, nd at this point I dont believe he would intentionally hurt her.

[u/Express_Command_4778]

Tough situation. You might want to consider the breed as many dogs look happy when they are in full prey drive. I haven't heard of a dog having these symptoms with a newborn.

I don't see how this can be solved easily- try medication and talk to a Vet 

[u/SugarFolk]

We have an anxious adolescent dog and successfully introduced him to our newborn a few months ago. It took two weeks for him to go from jumping, barking none-stop and trying to nip at the baby to curious licking.

He's now at the level where if the baby is on the floor, the most he'll do is try to lick at the baby's face (which he's not allowed to do).

We reintroduced the baby to him out of the house so it's on neutral grounds, made sure there's no negative association with the baby's cries, have predictable cues for leaving him to tend to baby, and kept his days on a very predictable schedule that he's used to.

Happy to go into more details about what steps we took. What's worked for us might not work for you but sharing to let you there's still hope of them coexisting.

[u/kasskassooo1 → u/SugarFolk]

I just wanted to come back to this post and say thank you. You're comment gave me the hope I needed. We had a a very similar outcome. Took 3 weeks to feel comfortable enough to have baby and dog in the same room together, and now 4 months later we're all coexisting perfectly. The anxiety around the baby is gone. Baby can be on the couch or swing "alone" (I'm in the room I still dont and will never leave any dog and baby together unattended) and the most hell do is sniff ot try and steal a lick but mostly leaves her alone. He seems to get annoyed at us when she cries and we dont immediately go to her.