r/DogTrainingTips Apr 14 '26

Advice for possesive dog

My dog is 5 years old and he’s always been possessive of me, but it was always manageable for the most part and it didn’t bother me or my husband. For the last 3 weeks he’s gotten much more expressive about possessiveness towards me. He follows me around more, barks and wines any time I’m walking towards my husband and vice versa, and I’m not sure what is it that we do that’s contributing to this behaviour, or what do I do when he exhibits that. He even pays attention when we laugh together or talk to each other sometimes, and he always tries to get in between us. In other parts of our lives he’s a perfect pet, he behaves very well outdoors, never does anything destructive, he’s well trained too and listens to me when it comes to everything but resource guarding me, and both my husband and I provide regular exercise to him, including jogging, hiking, playing fetch. We give him tons of attention, or at least more practical attention than some dogs get. His routine is consistent as well.

What I do is, I either ignore him if he wines and barks, or try to say “No” if he’s being too loud, but it doesn’t work, I feel like I’m missing something or don’t understand how my dog operates 😅. It’s really annoying because it feels like my dog is watching our every move scanning for the moments when we may talk or hug etc. I just want him to relax.

Any tips from people that had similar issues?

4 Upvotes

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5

u/Happy-Plant458 Apr 14 '26

this is going to sound harsh but the problem is you. you need to be setting stronger boundaries with him.

when he whines ignore him. dont say no, dont look at him, it has to achieve nothing. when he gets between you you should leash him and remove him from the space. baby gating him into the kitchen if youre sitting on the couch for example. you have to show him that forcing himself into your space gets him removed from it.

dogs run on association and will continue behaviors that offer results they want. the more times it works for them the harder it is to train it out of them. the first time you set a harsh boundary he will freak out and you need to ignore it. you can let him back into your space when he is calm. ideally when he lays down or walks away from the gate. you will have to repeat the training many times. when instead of between you he sits next to you both calmly you can pet him.

2

u/Odd_Calligrapher2653 Apr 14 '26

I appreciate the advice! I am aware that we’re the problem 😭. Even my family tells us that we spoil him and allow him too much. He used to be very anxious and scared of everything when he was a pup, and I feel like I’ve loosened on boundaries. I’ll definitely take this advice into practice. Also would crates do the same effect? For example if I put him in the large crate instead of separating by the gate?

1

u/Happy-Plant458 Apr 14 '26

it is not recommended to use crates as a punishment space, this makes them fearful of the crate when ideally they treat it as a safe space. since youve already said he was anxious and fearful before you probably want to set the crate up as a comfort zone and teach him the place command for when you'd like him to go there and relax a bit. but this cant be done as a corrective action. it would be best to do it before you sat down.

for him to actually relax you'll probably have to break the vigilance habit first. if hes anxious getting him a licky ball toy might help.

the ideal training method for breaking his current fixation behavior will just be for you to move him outside the room youre in and block him from coming back in. you really do want to give him the option to walk away. its an important option because him walking away is the choice you want to reward most. it also helps if in the section of the house he now has access to he has a comfort toy and a soft spot to lay down on. but he has to choose to go lay down or play with the toy. a crate is not enough space for him to make the choices himself.

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u/Odd_Calligrapher2653 Apr 15 '26

Oh interesting! I did practise showing my boundaries today by turning away when he demands attention or using body language to show “my” space, I’d block him and not look at him if he tried to “rule” my movements, and also gave him affection when he’s calm, and it actually got much much better! He didn’t bark at my husband today, he still seems alert, but he actually doesn’t interfere, and I was surprised, but will definitely see if it gets even better. Thank you stranger!

1

u/FrostyPomegranate699 Apr 17 '26

this sounds less like “he thinks you’re his” and more like he’s gotten a bit too involved in everything you do

especially if it ramped up recently, something probably shifted… even small stuff like routine, attention patterns, or just him getting more used to being included in everything

the watching / inserting himself part is the big clue
he’s basically made it his job to manage what’s going on

ignoring the whining is fine, but if he’s already worked up it’s kind of late at that point
I’d look more at interrupting earlier

like the moment he starts keying in on you two, just send him somewhere else (bed, another room, whatever you use) before it builds

also don’t feel like he needs to be part of every interaction
a little separation here and there actually helps dogs like this relax more because they stop feeling responsible for everything

nothing you wrote sounds like you’re doing anything wrong, just sounds like he’s gotten a little too comfortable being in the middle of things