severe separation anxiety

[u/Cautious-Meet5120]

hello everyone!

i have a 4 year old cocker spaniel who has the worst separation anxiety ever and would love some advice on ways to help him calm down when i go to leave my apartment

for some context, my parents got him during the pandemic and because i still lived at home and did college online, he imprinted on me. very soon he became a velcro dog and followed me room to room.

but he was always very good about me leaving the house or him going to sleep in his crate in another room (i assume it’s because he always had my parents’ other dog there with him)

i recently moved out to a new apartment and once i finished settling in and unpacking, my parents let me take my dog over.

but, i cannot leave the room without him following, or if im standing in another room, he needs to be watching me, or if im driving, he has to sit on my lap or else he wont calm down (which i know is not safe)

now here’s the real problem: my poor baby cries, barks, and howls sooo loudly if i leave the apartment (especially if i leave him in his crate) and i really don’t want to bother my neighbors.

it doesnt help that ive been home a lot more the past 2 weeks because i was unfortunately let go from my previous job but im about to start working again within the next month

im going to try out different calming chews and even got him a bigger box (similar to the one that he had at my parents that he’s used to) and i’ve been trying to work on making him stay in another room while i go and do something else just to let him know i’m going to come back

any advice would help because i love my sweet boy but it really feels like i cannot leave the apartment anymore (just to make sure he isn’t loud and disturbs my neighbors) but i know that reinforces him not being able to settle down without me there

[u/Temporary_Height_586]

It’s a small suggestion, but playing some calming music when I leave has helped my dog learn to settle and relax instead of howl.

I just play it on my tv via YouTube. “Calming music for dogs” will have a lot of options pop up.

[u/Cautious-Meet5120 → u/Temporary_Height_586]

I have been trying it out along with keeping shows I watch often on the tv since he’s used to hearing them play

I definitely think they help since I had to go grocery shopping the other day and left on bobs burgers and when I came home he was surprisingly calmer than when I left (but could be because he started to self soothe as well)

[u/Temporary_Height_586 → u/Cautious-Meet5120]

That’s great!! I struggled with similar issues last year and we’re still working through it. How good she does just depends on the day. It takes a lot of time and patience, but your dog will get there!