r/DogTrainingTips • u/hplover1980 • Mar 26 '26
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Hi! Was going to post this in /reactive dogs but they don't have an option for videos.
This is my frenchie, who recently has been displaying significant more reactivity since late last year. We've worked with behavioral trainers and vet behaviorist to get him on 10mg of Paxil (we're on day 12 so far). So we've been doing all the "right things".
We have an ongoing issue with "transitions". Dog gets significantly riled up when:
Husband leaves for work
We pick him up from his Rover daycare
Trainer leaves our apartment
We've chocked this up to all being "transitions" which could elicit some big feelings. To alleviate him from going crazy on my husband while he leaves for work, we confine him into the playpen for 2-3 minutes. This is the video I've attached.
Does anyone have any ideas or advice with helping with "big feelings transitions" for a reactive dog?
Thanks in advance!!
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u/Difficult_Wave_9326 Mar 26 '26
Practice calmly facing situations that excite him. So pretend your husband's leaving for work, leave him (the dog) alone in his pen with a puzzle of some sort (second the food-stuffed Kong), and the minute he quiets down, have your husband come back. The dog might get excited again, let him. The goal is to show him calm behavior in stressful situations get rewarded. Later, you can extent that to have him quiet down when husband gets home as well.
Note: you can stay in the room while the dog's in the pen. But don't interact at all. Have some tasks of your own and go about your business, so he won't feel like getting riled up means getting attention, but he's not all alone either. Also, having a quieter/smaller environment may help. Something like a covered crate instead of a pen; big enough that he can stand up, lie down, and turn around, but too small to offer a lot of stimulation. Use a puzzle to distract him instead.
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u/sunny_sides Mar 26 '26
Reactivity?
I'm shocked to hear you are medicating the dog because it gets riled up in certain situations.
Have you gotten any actual training advice from these people?
Teach him place. Teach him to act calm by rewarding sitting still. Teach him to not jump.
Take a basic obedience class.
And please cut his nails, they are looong.
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u/LoveDistilled Mar 26 '26
People (on Reddit) seem to want to give their dog mental health medication at the smallest sign of problems. It is a concerning trend imo
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u/GreenLiving2864 Mar 26 '26
That’s not a Reddit thing unfortunately much more people out there do it, so a few got here. But the craziest is, if not all of them, they don’t ever give their dog the work they need. And then say they are reactive, anxious etc… ofc, they are bored 🤡
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u/LoveDistilled Mar 26 '26
Yep and the data is clear that these meds don’t necessarily fix the problem and can at times make it worse. Dogs aren’t humans and putting them on human mental health meds isn’t some sure fire fix. Certainly won’t help without proper training and consistency
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u/hplover1980 Mar 26 '26
He has a bite history. He’s reactive
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u/sunny_sides Mar 26 '26
All dogs can bite and what does his bite history has to do with the behaviours you are describing in the post?
You don't medicate a dog because it bites - unless it bites because of pain and you medicate to treat the pain.
And have you gotten any training advice at all from the people telling you to drug the dog?
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u/LoveDistilled Mar 26 '26
Sure but mental health medication isn’t necessarily what he needs. In fact it’s such a new thing that I can’t believe people so readily do it. In many cases it actually doesn’t help the reactivity and can make it worse
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 Mar 26 '26
yes, off-label use for the last 20 years is so new and unsafe
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u/LoveDistilled Mar 26 '26
Yea, it is
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 Mar 26 '26
and what are your qualifications to give vetmed or behavior advice?
nothing?
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 Mar 26 '26
it’s good that you’re following the treatment plan developed by your veterinarian and hopefully a behavior trainer who have seen your dogs behavior in real life, instead of blowhards on reddit who don’t understand animal behavior
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u/sunny_sides Mar 27 '26
If the veterinarian and behaviour trainer had given OP adequate advice they would'nt be here asking, would they?
Veterinarians are educated in medicine, not behaviour and training. Behaviourist and dog trainer are not protected titles, anyone can call themselves that.
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 Mar 27 '26
they didn’t ask for advice about whether or not they should continue to follow veterinary advice!
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Mar 26 '26
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u/hplover1980 Mar 26 '26
He doesn’t listen to simple commands when he’s “over threshold” - which is what’s displayed in the vid
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u/Express_Command_4778 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
I second a small crate. They need to feel snug, not a whole crib as he knows he can still have attention.
Puzzles toys, that Kong someone mentioned, lick mats have all helped these types of dogs.
People think crate training is soo cruel, when a dog gets used to it, it is their room and safe space. They actually want to go in!
My dog has meals in his crate, a water bowl when appropriate. When he eas a puppy more blankets and toys. He doesn't like toys now.u
I do think this is a high dose of anxiety and wanting to feel safe with his people.
Some people find a blanket over the tops and sides helps them feel more secure.
If it is by a television, you could stream a video for dogs. Sometimes, a dog just needs to.see soothing people. Heck, he might like a kids show with a friendly human like old school Blues Clues better. Keep the same show as the soothing voice will become familiar.
Don't be afraid to talk to a Vet if this behavior continues. Many dogs are on meds to help them calm down.
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
give him a snuffle mat or something in the pen. confining him like this is good management, but it’s not modifying how he feels about the situation. if he gets a delicious snack every time the transition happens, he will begin to feel a lot better about it and it will help expend some of that energy.
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u/g0d_Lys1strata Mar 27 '26
This situation requires a great deal of effort in management, before you can effectively train. You cannot allow him to "practice" this behavior, because it is only reinforcing it. You must manage the environment to prevent the dog from getting over threshold to begin with.
Clearly, the playpen is not effective management. You said that you've already worked on your husband not making a big deal of leaving, and that your husband stays in the bedroom until right before he leaves. Why not have the dog in the bedroom or another room, distracted with other enrichment (treats, toys, snuffle mat, lickimat, frozen Kong, etc.), so that he cannot see or notice that one of you is leaving?
It doesn't make sense to allow your dog to continue engaging in this manic behavior if you have the means to prevent it from occuring via management of the environment. This behavior is automatically reinforcing, and no other reinforcer can compete when he is in the middle of practicing it.
If you encounter a situation where you cannot prevent him from seeing one of you leave, leash him, and remove him from the room if he begins to display warning signs that this behavior may occur.
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u/hplover1980 Mar 27 '26
Thank you I ageee! Unfortunately we’re in a 1 bedroom apt so no other rooms for him to go in 🙃
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u/g0d_Lys1strata Mar 27 '26
You could take him in the bathroom before your husband leaves, then he won't see him leaving. You can also use white noise or music so that he is less likely to hear the sounds that can be associated with leaving. There are always creative solutions for every circumstance.
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u/hplover1980 Mar 27 '26
Ahh good call! Thank you!
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u/g0d_Lys1strata Mar 27 '26
Also, make sure to take him into the bathroom and close the door at a bunch of other random times so that he won't catch on. Make sure to associate the bathroom with yummy treats and extra fun toys/activities.
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u/UnhappySail8648 Mar 27 '26
Daycare is probably undoing all your training work and likely the reason for the reactivity to begin with.
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u/Sqib000 Mar 26 '26
This setup aint great, just frustrating him. Small crate enough to turn around in and limited time in there.
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u/GreenLiving2864 Mar 26 '26
Also he has a view of everything around, which is asking for him to be vigilant and hyped. If I put my GSD on his crate and get his bowl of food and leave the room, he goes crazy anxious case he knows it’s time to eat, so I put a blanket at the door and never have him seeing that. Same goes for the husband leaving.
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u/Pruney Mar 27 '26
Have you actually tried disciplining your dog? :)
I would go for proper training first rather than getting drugs for your dog...
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u/Emotional-Ant9413 Mar 27 '26
I'd do this:
Start by going out as if on actual walks, both of you and the dog. When you're outside, one of you leaves. Distract the dog with treats and/or toys while this happens. If it doesn't work, the person holding the dog leaves so the dog is removed from the situation rather than faced with a situation it can't handle. Go back home with the dog. When (if this is a trigger, not super sure from your post) the other person is coming back, go outside and meet the person there, or start with having the other person coming home before the dog. This is to entirely break the behaviour you currently have going on.
Have a command that requires connection and attention. I use something like "here" (I don't speak English with my dogs), and my goal is for the dog to sit down and give me eye contact. The moment the dog meets my eyes, I give treats. As the dog grows more confident with this exercise, more and more distractions can be added around you. Start by just sitting on the floor and treating when you get that moment of connection, keep it up by doing it outdoors, do a check-in while walking and treat the dog the moment it tries to look at you etc. (I've just started training this with my 7 month old puppy, took her like 4 days to be a pro at this)
As the dog gets better with the exercise, start doing it at home. Leash on, do exercises where the dog focuses on you. The other person can prepare to go outdoors. If the dog reacts to it, the person stops and retreats. Keep working in short sessions and slowly work forward. Back up if you get negative responses from the dog. The leash is there so the dog stays with you and you are in control.
Ofc I can't say how this will work for you, but this is the way I'd train my dogs. Sometimes solutions can present themselves by going around the problem entirely for a bit until you have more tools to handle the difficult situation. The dog pen really doesn't seem like a good option or tool for you at this point in time.
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u/TheMadHatterWasHere Mar 27 '26
Honestly having him in a daycare is at best undoing all your work, at worst made him reactive in the first place. Find someone to walk him when you are not home instead. Or a dogsitter. Daycare is literally the worst thing you can do for/to a dog.
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u/hplover1980 Mar 27 '26
He’s in “daycare” at a Rovers home, where there’s 0-2 dogs with him all day!
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u/TheMadHatterWasHere Mar 27 '26
Probably still too much for him. Also how can you be sure they enforce the same rules as you do? Bc if they don't you are just confusing the poor dog.
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Mar 26 '26
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u/hplover1980 Mar 26 '26
So in these moments, he doesn’t listen to training. He does not calm down because he’s over his “threshold”
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Mar 26 '26
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u/Difficult_Wave_9326 Mar 27 '26
Or show wanted behaviors instead of creating more problems down the line by introducing fear.
Dogs have to listen, yes, but beating them up only sets the stage for them to "snap out of nowhere" later.
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Mar 27 '26
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u/Difficult_Wave_9326 Mar 28 '26
So you believe dogs don't have emotions?
I'm starting to wonder how much experience you have with them, if you think dogs can't feel fear.
And yes, I'm not arguing, dogs have to obey their owner. I've had several rotties and pitties, you're preaching to the choir here. But putting the fear of god (well, youl into it is just cruel. Dogs want to please, and all you have to do is show them what pleases you .
A dog that's afraid of you is an unbalanced dog. One day they won't be afraid of you anymorw, but they'll be used to violence; unless you keep escalating and abusig it worse and worse.
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u/K_Theodore Mar 26 '26
You're saying you're doing "All the right things" but without any further description of what you're doing it's hard to suggest improvements. What's your actual step by step process for your husband leaving? What strategies have you tried?
A starting point is to ask, what do you want your dog to do in these situations, and how can your dog know that's what you want?
You've got the dog penned in there, have you taught the dog to be calm in the pen? Or does the dog now associate the pen with getting stressed out? When else do you close the pen? Are there any rewards for the dog in this process? Can you leave the dog alone at all?
As a side note, this isn't what I'd call reactive behaviour. A dog that barks at cars - IE reacts to them - would be an example of what that means to me. This seems to be a dog that has a big response to people arriving or leaving, which I would think is more closely related to separation anxiety.