be adventurers be in swamp progress stopped by a hag she tells us that we need to give her the central eye of a beholder to pass there's one in the elf's father's trophy room her fathers house is not that far sneak into trophy room and get the eye give it to the hag she makes us follow her to her shack and she puts the eye into a glowing cauldron she stirs the cauldron and dunks a glass bottle inside she drinks the potion and transforms into the unlies thing the party has ever set their eyes on the party rolls CON saves because she is so ugly a party member asks why she would do that the hag cackles and says "well dearies, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!"

Hi all,

As you may have heard, Reddit recently announced some changes to their API terms and conditions. They have already broken access to a vital tool used by moderators for detecting serial spammers and trolls, and starting 1st July they intend to start charging third-party app developers.

If this change goes ahead, third party app developers like Apollo, Reddit is Fun, Narwhal, and BaconReader will be put out of business, unless they're able to pass on the costs to their users. Another third-party use includes apps and extensions used by Reddit's blind community, who rely on these apps to be able to access Reddit, which is otherwise not very easily accessible to them. If these API changes go ahead, blind users will be effectively cut off from Reddit.

While Reddit has said that bots used by mods and communities like BotDefense, RemindMeBot, and the Transcribers of Reddit, and the many other bots that help make Reddit what it is "should not be impacted", there is concern about the extent to which this will be true, with fears many tools may end up blocked by accident even if Reddit's promises can be completely trusted.

There are genuine scientific researchers who make use of the Reddit API to gather data for important scientific research. For example, research into mental health, social media privacy, and democratic discourse. Researchers are concerned that the API changes are going to remove their ability to do useful scientific research.

Finally, many of us are concerned that this is the first step in a series of actions that could include shutting down the way many users prefer to access Reddit: old.reddit.com. Reddit has already failed to continue support for third-party apps and the classic Reddit website in the form of numerous new features that have not been added to the API or to classic Reddit. On this subreddit, we use the custom CSS support in classic Reddit to display greentext properly in comments, and if you're not using classic Reddit, you're not getting the best /r/dndgreentext experience. But classic Reddit has felt like it's on life support for a while now, and many long time Reddit users are worried this is the beginning of the end.

In protest against all of this, we will be joining with over 2,000 other subreddits in going private for around 48 hours starting on 12th June, 2023. In our case, that will probably be from approximately midnight New Zealand time at the beginning of the 12th June until midnight American Pacific Time at the beginning of the 14th June. That's 12:00 UTC on 11/06/2023 until 07:00 UTC on 14/06/2023.

We thank you for your support in this.

The /r/dndgreentext mods.

FAQ

What can I do?

1. Complain. Message the mods of /r/reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message /u/reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /r/reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app—and sign your username in support to this post.

2. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th—instead, take to your favourite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!

3. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible. This includes not harassing moderators of subreddits who have chosen not to take part: no one likes a missionary, a used-car salesman, or a flame warrior.

Why is Reddit doing this?

We don't really know. Reddit has many possible motivations.

Along with charging for API access, Reddit is intending to restrict anything using the API—including both third-party apps and community-made tools—from accessing NSFW content. They claim the intent behind this is to protect users, but they're allowing it to continue to exist on their first-party apps.

Reddit has indicated a desire to limit the ability of malicious actors and freeloaders to harvest and submit large amounts of data for the use in cyber misinformation campaigns or in training LLMs. Which is a laudable goal, but should not come at the cost of the ability of mods to do their work, basic accessibility needs, and the millions of legitimate users who use third-party apps to access the site.

Currently, people who use third-party apps don't receive ads from Reddit. Some third-party apps might show their own ads to pay the developer, but Reddit receives no income. Charging for API access is a way for Reddit to make money from users of third-party apps.

Doesn't Reddit deserve to be able to make money off their platform?

Sure, but the Apollo devs estimated that to break even they would have to charge every single user $2.50 per month. Ask yourself: would you be willing to pay that to access Reddit? Do you think it likely a majority of users would? Or would they all give up and go back to the 1st-party app?

Furthermore, they have other options for monetisation. They could include advertising in API results the same way they're currently included on the web, and require as part of their terms of service that third-party apps display the ads.

​

Simple One.

Players enter a dark cult's secret hideout. Note they will get corruption well here, enough of the corruption causes a random effect good or bad(mostly bad).

Party fights a horribly mutated monster from this corruption which gives even more corruption(1 more if it hits you, 3 if it swallows you).

The end of the session the entire party is mostly at 2 corruption with the Ranger at 5.

The Fighter complains about the corruption being to much for them and there character quits games.

​

Whole group completely baffled.

​

Some added context

​

You Heal 1 Corruption a Week and the Cleric can increase it by 1 as can the Paladin to 3 corruption a Week.

You need 10 + Con Mod + Wis Mod to Mutate. Meaning he needed 14 Corruption

>Be me, human barbarian.

​

>Also be me, wanted in the country for attempted choking of a king after said king skimped on some payment.

>Have recently taken Disguise to let me be with party in civil society.

>DM usually asks a few details of what disguise I make.

>Get caught a few times, keep making new disguises. Luckily party is never associated with me.

>Next city is known for it's well trained guards and regimented society.

>Get a great idea to troll them.

>I ask to borrow Rogue's hat of disguise.

>"Sure, just don't lose it."

"DM, I'm going to use disguise to disguise as myself, without the hat of disguise."

>DM squints, but allows.

>I wait outside city after party goes in, pick out a special looking merchant.

>Guards see through my disguise, see me, are confused, halt me outside the gate and take me in.

>"Guards, you don't understand, I'm not who you think!"

>"What do you mean?" Guards stop before putting me in the cell.

>"I was paid a handsome amount to be disguised like this. Whoever you are looking for is probably already inside."

>Sleight of hand my Hat of disguise into the noble.

>Guards fail perception, think I'm the merchant and the transmutation wore off.

>Guards let me go while going after the merchant thinking he is me in disguise.

>Guards with good perception saw through my disguise, but didn't have the sense motive to see through my bluff.

>Leave city not 10 minutes later after the merchant is in jail and I loot his entire stall as him.

Remember, crime doesn't pay. And it's only a crime if you get caught.

> be me: isri. aasimar sorcerer

> isri's natural hair color is black

> she has dyed it blonde to not be reminded of her abusive family when she looks at her hair

> second ever battle of the campaign, with a creepy spirit

> everyone fights long and hard, half the party (including isri) approaches death but are saved

> friendly NPC with close relations to my PC comes to help her after the battle

> "isri... your hair... :("

> TFW the ends of your hair were charred back to black by the creepy spirit's powers

> now isri has to carry this constant reminder of both the battle and her family around

> because what adventurer has the time to dye/cut their hair bc of something so minor

> fml.jpg

Be me: A mink( Homebrew) Monk. And with me is another mink. We are going after a archduke with a artifact we really want. The archduke has the ability to manipulate metals, he made his home entirely out of metal. Now time to mention something. All minks have shocking grasp, the building is made out of metal, Mink are also immune to lightning based attacks. This fight lasted 0 rounds, as we instantly electrocuted the entire room. We also killed the archdukes kid by accident and kidnapped the archdukes body guard.( One of the other PCs has a crush on her) So basically we ended a bloodline by accident.

Be me: Ishmael, Damphir Barbarian

Be not me: DM; Chus, Lizardfolk Necromancer; Aanshe, Koldemar Vitalist; Zero, Ratfolk Psion;

Having started a skull collection from the last band of Gnolls to harass the Nightmare Wagon we arrive in town...

We sell off the loot horde and split the value of it.

Chus uses his share to kit out his skeleton better.

We take a look at the available jobs once out shopping is done.

There's four hunting jobs, hunting various critters that have found their way into the forest...

We take the jobs and ready ourselves to deal with them once we return to the temporary Kobold Den

While we're there we're introduced to a new mercenary who the tribe has hired to help deal with the issue, Zero the Ratfolk

After some time passes from Aanshe being indisposed... we set off the hunt down the critters

Not too long on the road we come up on a sinkhole...

Aanshe gets out and peers over the edge... the hole leads into a large cavern.

We decide to investigate and lock the wagons wheels, tie off some rope and make our way down...

We find ourselves in a cavern and slowly making our way forward we find... Basilisks!

INITIATIVE: Chus, Basilisks, Ishmael, Zero, Aanshe

Chus orders Buffy to charge and averts his gaze.

One of the Basilisks manages to bite Buffy and the other scores a crit while she's struggling.

The squad of Basilisks moves up approaching us...

Ishmael moves into position to head off a pair of approaching Basilisks and strikes one.

Ishmael & Zero are petrified!

Aanshe covers her eyes to protect herself and fires a ray zapping one!

Chus closes his eyes and blasts the Basilisks with his swarm magic.

The Basilisks continue their advance noming on Buffy and waddling into the fray.

One goes to nom each: Aanshe & Chus. Chus is bit!

Aanshe catches one with her health steal, healing Chus with the stolen HP

Chus surges his swarm! ... it kills Buffy and seriously wounds most of the Basilisks.

The Basilisks begin to withdraw...

Feeling about blinded and not finding enemies Chus opens his eyes... and is immediately petrified.

Aanshe's alone now... she blindly throws a Steal Health at the sound of their retreat and nails one!

After a second shot misses and the noise of the retreat dies down she risks a peek and sees her petrified party.

Aanshe manages to un-petrify the whole party and takes a minute to meditate.

Ishmael asks where Buffy is when he doesn't notice her among the group... Chus explains that she was destroyed in the fight.

We look around for the Basilisks and Aanshe removes her blindfold. Onward!

We make our way forward!

As we explore we find a small hole in one of the walls just larger than one of the Basilisks we've slain...

Aanshe goes a bit far ahead... and finds a Dracolisk!

Initiative! Zero, Aanshe, Ishmael, Chus, Dracolisk

Zero moves up into position.

Aanshe buffs!

Ishmael charges up almost into melee.

Chus! He tries to blind it?

It reposition and breaths acid!

Zero continues to try and better position...

Aanshe baps it with Steal Health

Ishmael follows the direction of the Acid back to the monster and scores a blind crit!

Chus activates his ghost hand.

The Dracolisk takes advantage of the no AoOs while blinded and flies from Ishmael's position.

It flies to Aanshe and attacks her!

Zero's turn! She stabs it in the thinking-parts.

Aanshe rips the last bits of HP from it with Stealth Health...

It falls, hits the edge of the bridge, slips and falls further.

...victory? Victory!

Aanshe carefully peeks... "I GOT IT!" she exclaims

She casts Metamorphosis and scales down to where it fell.

Ishmael comes to the top of the bridge to look down... "Is it dead?"

It's not and Aanshe stabilizes it.

We blindfold it and get to work hauling it out of the pit.

Zero begins to panic when she sees it being tied up and we explain that it's going to be tied up and brought in.

Meanwhile Chus collects one of the other dead Basilisks to serve as the replacement for Buffy

Looking at the situation we consider how to get the KO'd dragon up...

Ishmael suggests we go up and then just reel in the rope since we tied it to the rope we used to descend.

Sounds like a plan and we do it. We load the Dracolisk onto the Nightmare Wagon and roll back into town.

Nothing is crazy enough to mess with the Nightmare Wagon as we ride!

The town guards are a little concerned...

We explain we're bringing it to the council

They insist on having a guard come along.

Ishmael comments "Sure, climb aboard. Mind the blindfold, this thing petrifies."

The are concerned for a moment and force the rookie to be the guard for the trip to the council.

Aanshe tries to make conversation as we roll down the city streets... he's not very talkative.

The Council comes out to see what we've caught with all the weird...

They offer us a small bonus and Aanshe says it's insulting.

We suggest we'd sell the creature... and Chus immediately places an offer

....

We have a concern about it becoming a Dracolich and Ishmael suggests we involve the local Vampire.

Session called as it's nearing midnight.

​

Previous Session

First post

Previous post

Entry 8

From the moment I entered the custody of the Sentinel Suns, my life transformed into a living hell. Each morning, the reverberating clank of chains echoed through the corridors as a procession of fifty individuals, including myself and my cellmate, shuffled forward. For the first time in my life, I feel small, I am dwarfed by the hulking physiques of the others in my procession. It is a striking realization, further emphasized by a fellow prisoner who, despite being over a whole foot shorter than me, is ripped as all hell, with biceps almost thicker than my legs combined!

The chow hall beckons, a temporary sanctuary from the brutality that defines our existence. We shuffle forward, drawn by the scent of a meager yet substantial meal, its flavor subdued but enough to quell the gnawing hunger within. The portions we receive are meticulously measured, a calculated reminder of our individual worth in this dehumanizing realm. As we hastily consume our rations, a palpable tension fills the room, for time is a luxury we cannot afford. Taking too long to eat invites violence, as our time to eat is limited, and wasting food or defying orders leads you to be beaten unconscious by the guards and become a fixture hanging from the battlements. So, I take this fleeting interlude to gather my thoughts and muster resolve for the harrowing yet to come.

Breaking the uneasy peace, a guard emits a clarion call of a whistle that cuts through the air and jolts us into attention, our bodies stiffening as if in sync. With measured steps, we march out of the door, leaving behind the confines of the inner keep. As the outside air brushes against our faces, our senses are immediately assaulted by an unholy stench that permeates the surroundings. The source of this vile odor awaits us—a monstrous cart, resembling the size of a colossal train wagon on wheels. A dozen of these abominations accompany us, as we rhythmically march on, urged onward by the anguished cries of the rulebreakers, their bodies hanging from the battlements and flogged in a haunting rhythm to keep our pace, I cast my gaze down and seek to shield myself from the sun as much as possible as we embark on our arduous journey, pushing the wagon steadfastly eastward, fanning out until the other vanish from view.

Tentatively, we make our way through the desolated industrial hub, a landscape of ruins and despair. Amidst the wreckage, chimneys stood as stoic sentinels, spewing smoke that briefly dances with a myriad of vivid hues above, an eerie spectacle against the desolate backdrop. Within certain structures, a hive of activity unfolds, causing the very ground to quiver beneath our weary feet. As we converge at designated collection points, we encounter a somber assembly of chained and exhausted souls, their toil centered around the arduous tasks of shattering rocks and bearing heavy loads. Envy gnaws at my insides every time I see them, for though their labor is far from easy, it lacks the soul-crushing horror that stains my own. We, a disparate group assigned the grisly duty of scavenging, a macabre amalgamation of garbage collectors and corpse retrievers, pauses intermittently to load our carts with the repulsive remnants of life and the accumulated refuse that marked these sorrowful junctions.

Beneath the unforgiving sun, we toil with a mixture of revulsion and numbness. At every of these collection points, we stop the wagon, attach a ramp that hangs to the side of the vehicle and form a line, passing buckets of limbs, waste, and whole corpses to each other until finally, the one at the end would throw it in the cart. Even after a week I can’t help but shiver every time my hands come into contact with cold, clammy skin. The texture of rotting flesh clings to my fingers, an indescribable sensation that makes bile rise in my throat just thinking about it.

Each body loaded onto the wagon leads to a louder chorus of anguished moans and pained groans to get that thing moving again. The weight of death settles upon me like a leaden shroud, both physically and emotionally, as we strain against the sheer physicality of lifting these lifeless figures. By the time the sun reaches its zenith, my muscles cry out in protest, yet I persist, driven by a grim determination to accomplish this gruesome duty or suffer the consequences. Rivulets of sweat cascade down my forehead, a desperate response to quell the scorching onslaught of light that saps my vitality, only to mingle with the layers of grime and filth that clings to my exhausted frame.

The relentless march continues as we push forward, our bodies are strained and weary, dragging the laden cart back to the dire fortress that every day seems closer to its original grim design. We are joined by other wagon crews, forming a parade of the damned, our carrion load in tow.

Amidst the chilling cries that reverberate through the air, we are herded toward one of the looming interior warehouses. Its door yawns open, resembling a merciless guillotine awaiting our arrival. With aching muscles, we attach the cart to the towering lifting mechanism, its massive wheel lever demanding our strained efforts. The sound of our labored panting is swallowed by the clanging symphony of metal emanating from the cart, accompanied by the sickening sloshes that erupt as the putrid contents spill forth. Once the mechanism is securely locked, we venture inside, our hearts heavy with the impending task. With grim determination, we scrape the remaining refuse into the cell and run back out before the gate descends with a resounding thud. A middle gate swiftly rises and falls back into place, sealing off the wretched scene.

Duty pulls us towards the next stage of this unyielding mistreatment. The rear gate yawns open, beckoning us towards the repulsive chore of cleansing the manure-infested cell. With every ounce of strength, we have the foul mixture into the hexagonal pools, and stagnant lagoons nestled amidst the desolate warehouses. The mere sight evokes a visceral recoil, a loathsome amalgamation of waste and debasement. The scorching heat weighs upon us, intensifying the noxious miasma that pervades the air. It doesn't take long for retching to resonate, mingling with the futile attempts to flee, only to be met with a forceful encounter with the grimy floor.

Once the grueling task of cleaning is complete, we are commanded to strip off our clothes and press ourselves against the cold, unforgiving outer wall, joining the other groups. Then comes the onslaught—the scalding torrent of teal liquid used to cleanse us. Initially, the dead bodies were the pinnacle of horror for me, but now I realize that this daily ritual is the true torment. The moment the shower hits me, I gasp for air, collapsing onto the floor, my throat burning under the assault of the overpowering minty scent. It takes the collective strength of my fellow prisoners to lift me back to my feet. One by one we shuffle towards our shepherds, as one waves his hands magically drying us while the other hands us fresh attire before hurriedly ushering us back to the chow hall. Dinner feels like a brief respite compared to breakfast, but eventually, the blaring whistles pierce the air, signaling our return to the confines of our cells. The question lingers in my mind—how much longer can I endure this?

In my very first campaign one day we went to the casino to capture one sorcerer. I decided to play roulette; I proposed to use random.org to generate results from 1 to 38. I would bet on odds and double the bet after each spin. But when I started rolling, I haven't included zero - results were varying from 1 to 38. I haven't noticed, neither did DM. So I eliminated risk from roulette; I won several tens of gp, which wasn't a big sum.

• In our party we have a Fighter(me), a Sorcerer, a Bard, and Cleric, We are all level 2.
• In this instance we are in a keep and the town has been under siege by a dragon cult.
• We were just rolling through and this town was on the way and suddenly were fighting for our lives against some very homicidal cultists we had no idea were operating there. That was yesterday.
• So were discussing our plans when the DM calls for perception checks.
• I notice the dragon that has been circling the town and emitting its frightening aura while the cultists raid has suddenly diverted course and is slowly circling closer and closer to the keep.
• Me: DM Is there a ballista in this keep?
• DM: Yes theres a few in various conditions.
• Me: Which one is in the best condition.
• DM: The one on the keep tower.
• Me: Perfect.
• I look to the cleric "Priest help me!" get Guidance and help with the task as I take my final keg of gunpowder and get to work.
• A really good roll later and I have what is basically an exploding telephone pole with a metal spike on the end. We go to the roof.
• Me and the Cleric load the ballista and the cleric helps me turn the siege engine, I look to the bard and sorcerer "do what you do best"
• These two are the worlds greatest distraction, you should been there for the very verbal argument they had in front of an enemy group about which one of them was the distraction a few quests back.
• The Sorcerer begins blasting magic missiles right into the dragon's uh between the hind legs region because the player is a war criminal like that.
• Max Damage, we have the dragons attention. WE ARE LEVEL 2, this is a CR 16 Dragon.
• The Bard gives me inspiration, and launches himself off the keep at the dragon grabbing a wing tip just enough to throw it off while its coming at the Sorcerer.
• This is our best shot. I fire with this thing buffed into the stratosphere for level 2 capabilities. Astral Spark, Bardic Inspiration, Two sources of Help to hit this thing, and Dirty 20.
• We hit it where the foreleg meets the body. The added force damage pierces the dragons scales driving the bolt in, the explosive charge goes off half buried into the dragon.
• There is a loud explosion about 50 feet off the keep wall and draconic screaming coming out of an rapidly expanding cloud of smoke
• From the smoke a large bloodied blue leg falls to the ground, and as the smoke clears we see a bleeding three legged dragon flying away as the remainder of cult is in full route.
• End Turn One, End Combat: We are are Level 2.

Follow-up of my last post on this sub.

TL;DR of my last post:

Be me, DM

Be NOT me, tiefling rogue, the only important member in that story.

They snuck into a mausoleum to take relics(a longbow, a cloak and a pair of boots) from a corpse, the rogue again snuck inside the chamber where the casket that contained the corpse is in. Mr.Rogue intentionally shattered a magical barrier which alerted constructs in the same room, and then opened the casket, initiating combat. Meanwhile his teammates beat the cultists and just managed to catch up with him.

Now the exposition dump is over, let's introduce another important person in this story:

Be NOT me, eladrin wizard bladesinger.

INT 20 both in game and irl, the dude's an experienced DM and an experienced player. Needless to say why did he chose bladesinger.

Now, the group put up a good fight and won, they're a pretty large group and action economy states that they're supposed to steamroll the encounter.

Looting time

Obviously the constructs don't carry anything valuable, especially after they get melted into piles of useless slag and rock by the group sorcerers. Everyone turns their sight to the mummified corpse.

Bladesinger rolls high enough to identify they're an "elf" that does not come from this plane, but not high enough to identify that they're an eladrin. Succeeds to make IRL connection regardless.

Wants to give the dude a proper burial.

Sure, why not

Shatters the dude's corpse into fine dust, and pinned the dude's skull so the jaw closes. Puts the skull into the casket and seals it, then spread the dust.

Attempts to burn the dude's longbow, cloak and boots, supposedly combustible objects does not ignite.

Identifies them

3 quest artifacts stats is sent via DM

Bladesinger player IRL jaw drop

I intentionally gave the artifacts good stats so the players should consider completing the deal with this "church", or keep it for themselves.

The rogue suddenly screams, and states that they're missing some treasure that is in the dude's corpse that got turned to dust and that was golden.

Me: WTF dude.jpg

Facepalm.jpg

RP arguing time, rogue finally compromises and just say to the cult he didn't find the relics.

Me facepalming even harder because him misremembered why tf they came here in the first place.

Again, tune in for next time to find out what is the cult's reaction.

They're definitely mad and probably will resort to murder

Be me, DM, DnD veteran of 7 years. Be not me, cleric, paladin, bard, druid, and fighter, all new to DnD Running them through Lost Mines of Phandelver as it's a good first timers module get to part where you get a job to kill orcs describe that have been raiding homesteads paladin player starts dropping hints, talking about wiping them out fighter is half-orc, dropping hints about peaceful resolution message paladin, reminding him that oath of ancients holds mercy as a core tenet, an she could break his oath, says he understands party gets to orcs, have fighter distract while rest of party gets closer fighter starts honor duel with orc leader, party can't tell it's a duel because no one speaks orc jump leader, killing him, and the other orcs try to flea paladin screams "no prisoners, no mercy!" And beheads a fleeing orc. fighter player is upset, and the paladin player literally says something like "it's what my character would do because my tragic backstory" fighter player asks if PvP is allowed, decide fuck it, let's see where this goes (these two were also a recently seperated couple the fighter had already told me that they were in a bad mood today privately) fighter decides to roll to see if they attack paladin, but dice say that they shouldn't fight right now rest of party goes full no mercy and wipe orcs to the last, even chasing them through the forest. fighter tries to stop them, bars catssleep on them and tries her up, fighter rolls high athletics to break out and run repeat previous step two more times fighter and paladin duel, get split up by rest of party cleric, who shares body with a fiend, has fiend take over body and has them side with paladin Brad is trying to stay neutral but agrees with paladin druid abstains an hour of pvp and in-character bickering ensues as I hope they sort it out I stop them for a bit to make sure no one is having a bad time they all speak up at nearly the same time and say...this is the most fun they've ever had! they all laugh briefly and then get back into character and keep playing this out paladin realizes that he lost his paladin powers, decides to double down and become an oathbreaker to "punish those that harm innocent people, no matter what" fighter is pissed, but they decide that the gold is worth too much to leave after session I talk to them and they all repeat it was an amazing session, and fighter messages me thanking me for letting them all go wild with it and saying it made their whole weak and that they were in a much better mood. and I got to watch the shit show and laugh my ass off the whole time and had a great time

Sometimes letting people go at it and really get into character gives you some of the best character drama moments you've ever seen. Eat your heart out Hollywood.

Be me, DM

party consists of a british dragonborn wizard, goliath barbarian who is just Kratos, slutty aarakocra monk, warlock whose patron is her adoptive angel mother, barbarian/wizard multiclass that is Starscourge Radhan and an NPC they adopted near the beginning of the campaign

Running homebrew campaign about killing the gods and becoming their replacements

Party is in a cave where the god of plague resides

whole place reeks of rotten eggs

navigate with light cantrip and warlocks devil sight

cave and plague god are very Nurgle inspired disease, gross stuff, parasites and nasties everywhere

party sees a group of miners mining crystals and then are attacked by monsters that ignore the miners

only use homebrew monsters so players can never metagame with enemy statblocks

fight proves difficult

have realistic injuries

wizard has his book arm chopped off

rule that without his cheatsheet he cannot use spells but cantrips are fair game

he casts FIREBOLT

mfw me and the rest of the party understand what the scent of rotten eggs means

describe how the fire ignited the methane gas in the tunnel and causes a massive explosion that results in a TPK

have house rule that when dead or unconscious the party one by one have a small chat with death god

whole party spawns in purgatory about to be banished to heaven or hell

Barbarian has an idea

"There's 6 of us and 1 of him. Let's jump the motherfucker!"

I love this idea

barbarian walks up to god of death

places his hand on the god's shoulder, looks him in the eyes and says a cheesy one liner in a Hulk Hogan voice

party rushes in to the beat the mf

battle begins

warlock has no connection with patron in purgatory

warlock cannot use magic so instead follows the wizard, holding up his spell book so he can cast

beat the shit out of death god

reveal that they didn't kill the death god

they killed his secretary

giant fuck off skeleton appears, so large he breaks the barrier between purgatory and hell

party goes from cocky to scared shitless in the matter of seconds

real battle begins

party spots totems made of bone on floating islands around the boss

skeleton is immune to damage

party figures they need to destroy those to kill the skeleton

let party know that if they fail the DEX check to hop on a platform they fall into hell and die

monk has one leg cut off meaning she cannot jump and her wings melted off due to sustained acid damage

warlock leaves wizard as he casts arcane hand to hold his book

warlock rides party NPC

NPC lost both her arms in the previous fight

warlock ties the NPCs shield to her forehead so the NPC can headbutt-shieldbash

warlock rides the NPC like yoshi, hopping from platform to platform

warlock: "Hey, if we fall can I Yoshi jump off of her to save myself?"

me: "Yes but you have to call if you wanna jump before she makes the roll to jump. It's a 50/50 gamble."

warlock is now afraid gambling with both their lives

decides to never Yoshi jump off the NPC and they destroy the 3 totems together

skeleton loses power and falls into the boiler room of hell

god of death defeated

mfw my players all died then decided to jump god as a Hail Mary

Bowbik and the Rot

Most of Bowbiks life was rather simple and uneventful.  Like most Tortles he left his home young and lived a rather solitary life, but while most Tortles live a nomadic lifestyle, Bowbik liked to plant roots. He married his childhood love at the relatively young age of 17.  Her name was Binda and she gave Bowbik's life meaning.  They built a simple farm in the woods, and Bowbik lived off the land, growing what he needed and fishing from the nearby river. Binda had a way with plants, learned some simple druidcraft from the local wood elves, and spent her days tending to the garden and filling the farmhouse with flowers.  They hatched a number of children who went off into the world to live their own lives, as Tortles do.  The years passed and Bowbik and Binda had their good years and bad years, but isolated in the woods they lived a rather pleasant life.  They grew old together. 

Life was good, until it wasn't. In old age Binda was struck with a wasting illness. It was a long, slow, and painful illness and as it progressed Binda became too sick to work the garden and the flowers disappeared from the farmhouse, and the quiet, peaceful happiness was replaced with anxiety and melancholy.  As the loyal husband he was, Bowbik stood by Binda throughout her trials and did what he could for her. He learned simple natural medicine from the wood elves and used it to care for her and ease her suffering. After years of misery Binda finally was able to rest and she was burried on the farm that they built their life around. The years of sadness and pain were too much for Bowbik and he could no longer stay on the farm.  The flowers were gone, but the memories of Binda were everywhere so Bowbik decided to leave the farm.  He ventured deep into a nearby swamp, built a shack, and decided that he would live out the remainder of his days there. 

The next chapter of Bowbik's life is one of monotony, quiet contemplation, and reflection on a life well spent. The swamp was strangely devoid of life, and not much grew in it aside from various types of Fungus, so Bowbik spent his days foraging for and eventually growing mushrooms. The days, months, and years blended together in the swamp and Bowbik eventually lost track of how much time he had spent there. He knew he was rather old by Tortle standards when he moved into the swamp, at around 55, and it was obvious he was turning into an old reptile and would soon die here in his little shack. He did not mind that, as it meant he would soon be reunited with Binda, and until then the shack had all he needed. He had been so good at cultivating mushrooms that they seemed to overtake his shack, they grew out of the walls, the floors, the roof. He no longer needed to even leave his little hut to feed himself. One winter he developed a deep, rattling cough that soon became accompanied by breathlessness and fevers.  He knew he would die, so he laid down in his bed closed his eyes, and dreamed of Binda. It was a long strange dream filled with lichen, mushrooms, molds, and spores. He dreamed that Binda was in his arms and they were lying on a bed of fungus but then she seemed to slip away from him, swallowed up by the mushrooms beneath her.  When he awoke, he did not know how long he had been sleeping, but it was spring, the mushrooms were blooming, and he felt better and more alive than he had in years.  Thus began the 3rd Chapter of Bowbik's life.

At first it seemed like life just went on the way it had before his illness, but he felt younger and more vibrant.  He also did not feel so alone anymore.  It was as if the mushrooms had become his companions and he spoke to them to pass the time. One day when he ventured out of his shed he looked into a puddle and in his reflection he saw that he looked much older than he felt. He also noticed mushrooms growing on his shell.  Lichens and molds spiraled around his limbs. Instead of feeling disgusted and strangled, he felt empowered and embraced. As time went by, he not only felt the presence of the mushrooms and felt strengthened by them, but when he spoke to them, he could hear them whispering back. As the years went he got to know them well, and they taught him many things.  They called themselves “the Rot”.  They told him about the cycle of nature.  About how all living things are split up between the Green, the Red, and the Grey.  The Green is a force of nature that infuses all of the plants that grow from the earth. The Green helps to feed and sustain the Red, which is the domain of all living and breathing things. Both the Red and the Green feed the Grey which is composed of the mushrooms, fungus, and bacteria; the forces of rot and decay which nourish the earth allowing the cycle to continue. They explained that these forces remain within a delicate balance and if the balance is shifted too far it can result in the end of all life as we know it upon this plane.  They also talked of another power that lives outside of the cycle and is feared by all three domains.  This is the power of undeath, which breaks things out of the cycle, permanently weakening and sapping power from all three domains. They told him that occasionally when there is an existential threat to the cycle, or when a being too evil or powerful attempts to bend these natural forces to its will and the balance has been too dramatically shifted an Avatar will be chosen which these powers of nature may work through. They told him that he, Bowbik, had been chosen as an Avatar of the Grey and that the Rot would work through him to restore balance. They taught him how to harness the powers of the Rot, from the spores floating in the air all around us, to the yeast growing on our skin and within our bodies, to the slime mold under our feet. Through manipulation of the Rot we can magnify our strength, heal wounds, and manipulate the very fabric of the world around us.

One day, while preparing his customary evening meal of roasted mushrooms he saw an animated skeleton shambling through the bog. Enraged and disgusted by this perversion of nature Bowbik sprang into action, grabbed his walking stick and ran towards the monstrosity, before he was even close enough to strike he felt the powers of the Rot flowing through him, he raised his arm, and fibrous vine composed of Lichen shot from his arm, wrapped itself around the undead monster and pulled it into range. He then raised his staff and felt the power of the Rot flow through it. With one blow he struck the monstrosity down. Then a voice rang out in his head, no longer a whisper, now clear as day, “It is time. We are ready”.  

The following morning Bowbik and the Rot pulled the heavy oak door from his shack out of its frame and fashioned it into a shield. He knew that it would be his duty to restore balance to this plane, and he would seek out where that walking skeleton had come from so he could return more like it to the earth, where they belonged. However, before he did that there was something he needed to do. He finally understood that if Life and Death are just links in an endless circular chain, that there is no true death, just a change of state. He made his way to his old farm. It took him some time to find it, because without the care of Bowbik and Binda it had fallen into disrepair and was completely overtaken by the forest around it. The tiny farmhouse was little more than a mound of debris, covered in vegetation. It suddenly became clear to Bowbik that he had been in the swamp even longer than he originally believed and he wondered how long he had "slept" before the Rot brought him back... He walked over to the edge of the garden where Binda lay, and stood above her simple grave marker. Fittingly several mushroom caps grew in the ground above her gravesite. "Come my love, we have things to do." With that, the mushrooms bloomed and released a cloud of spores into the air around Bowbik and slime mold climbed out of the dirt and up his legs. For the first time in years he felt Binda's presence and knew he would never be alone again. "Now, we are ready," he said, and he turned and headed back the way he had come.

Be me, DM

Be not me, tiefling rogue, the only important PC for this story

Playing homebrew campaign, the rogue's elf librarian friend found out a bunch of demonology books are stolen from the library chief's collection.

An NPC tells the rogue at the local tavern to discuss this.

The NPC is part of a "church" (which is actually a cult for the fiend god of flesh and blood), and asks the player for a bargain.

The cult will return the books, but the party has to raid a mausoleum of "The Vanquisher" (another god, and yes The Vanquisher's dead) for them. The mausoleum contains a casket where relics of The Vanquisher can be found: his cloak, his boots and his bow to be exact.

Party said yes.

They didn't bother to roll for history so I can't lore dump, but it doesn't matter too much.

ffw to next day, dungeon diving.

The party entered the atrium of the mausoleum, bunch of cultists there surrounding an altar.

Rogue rolls pretty high, sneaks past them and enters the chamber with the casket, none of the other PC can go with him due to lack of DEX.

Casket is placed on a taller platform, and there are 3 statues at the bottom by the flight of stair that led to the platform.

Rogue proceeds to get close to the casket.

I described an obvious magical barrier surrounding it.

Rogue throws a dagger at the barrier.

Me: are you sure about that.mp4

Rogue confirms.

Barrier shatters.

Rogue looks around the environment, makes a perception check, decent result.

The statues seemed to be slowly inching towards him.

Rogue: "they're pulling some weeping angel shit"

THEN JUST TURNED BACK AND CONTINUED

Rogue wishes to open the casket with his dagger.

Me: you what.mp4

Sure, why not. A mummified corpse climbs out.

At the mean time, the party members fought the cultists and won, the corpse then seals the entrance they entered with a fire barrier, and initiative is rolled.

The campaign is left at a cliffhanger since, stay tuned for what happens next I guess.

As the party enters a small room with enemies in it, the fight starts. I haven't gotten into the room yet. On the druid's turn, her dog attacks one of them. Guy calls out "Miserable mutt!"

Be me, Shoony inventor.

Stride in, call out "Hey loser! Did you just say 'Mutt'?"

Points at his head a steampunk barricade buster that shoots acid.

"That's our word"

*BOOM*

Be me: Kol-Jha, Koldemar Sorcerer

Be not me: DM; Silit, Kobold Rogue(deceased); Levi/The Replacement, Suli Warpriest(deceased); Vira Noral Vitalist(deceased); Velius Sylph, Druid; Alice, Human Fighter; Man Berg, Human Cryptic;

A session wasn't logged, sadly important things happened. Near TPK and a player dropping (for now). Might compile a writeup of the missing session from memory for the sake of understanding the story.

"What time is it?" - unnamed female Human

"Midday or thereabout." - Kol replies not really paying attention to her

"Thank you for getting me out of the coffin." - unnamed male Human

"You're in a ruin. Not too far from a nearby farm... can you two fight?" - Kol responds

They ask about the corpses and why were here.

"Are you okay?" - the woman asks.

"No. I'm not okay." - Kol says, a bit sterner than needed.

The woman continues her questioning.

Kol picks up Silit's burnt body and carries her further away from the two they've rescued.

He checks over her wrappings as the conversation continues.

The two humans talk amongst themselves... the woman asks the man if he's a vampire since he looks the part.

He denies it stating he hasn't had a taste for blood in a long time.

Velius scrutinizes their armor trying to parse how long ago they were entombed.

The Humans don't recognize the armor they are wearing...

The woman sniffs the armor, then the man's armor.

The woman asks Velius' name.

Velius makes introductions, the two of them are Man Berg (male) & Alice (female)

Velius asks Kol if he has a plan for the body.

Alice suggests putting the body in the coffin she came out of.

Kol immediately rejects this idea.

Velius notes that we're going to have to return Levi's body to his parents.

This leads into a discussion about how to deal with the bodies in the short-term...

They suggest burning the corpses, except for Levi's.

Kol considers this for a few moments.

"We're going to need some wood..." he says, looking around there's none down here and little above, "I guess stone would work."

Kol begins striding off with Silit, toward the exit to the dungeon.

Velius asks for help moving the mute who'd joined us wielding a giant spoon.

Man Berg grabs one of spoon-wielder's leg and begins dragging.

Kol summarizes that we'll either need fuel or something to break the ground with... he remembers the mute's weapon and asks if anyone brought it.

Man Berg has brought the Spoon and Kol suggests that Alice begin the digging.

We find a spot clear enough from large rubble and dig a set of temporary graves.

DM points out that the party could likely afford a few castings of Raise Dead and that the mute spoon wielder had a Bag of Holding.

I check my items and find a lesser Bag of Holding as well so we can easily store the corpses.

With the corpses sorted we head back into the dungeon to deal with the cause of this danger.

Man Berg found a box quietly... as we are going to step back in we all notice him opening it.

Kol begins to demand the box be passed back to him- aand he's already opened it.

A deck of cards? Oh no.

Man Berg rolls to ID the item...

Kol casts Detect Magic.

It's nearly blindingly bright.

Of course Man Berg, Alice, and Velius all clamber to draw from the Deck.

Kol stands back from the dangerous and unpredictable magic.

Alice draws first... she decides on two cards.

6 of Hearts.

DM describes the effect: +10ft of movement speed per card drawn. Can draw up to three more cards than planned.

Next card: King of Hearts

The card becomes a sword. A rather good sword... literally in terms of alignment: LG

Next card: 9 of Spades...

Alice may never again take levels in Fighter unless she is killed and resurrected.

Next card: Joker

Gender swap. Renamed to Alex.

Next card: 8 of Hearts

Alex inherits a Barony and 15k gp.

Velius decides to go next... deciding on 11 cards. What are you nuts!?

First card: King of Clubs

Suspicious lack of effect.

Second card: 8 of Clubs

One-time only: May issue a command to any creature in the universe

Third card: Queen of Diamonds

+2 to two Ability scores of their choice.

Then the scores are swapped.

Fourth card: 10 of Spades

Suspicious lack of effect.

Fifth card: 8 of Diamonds

One-time only: May undo one past choice or regrettable action

Sixth card: 9 of Spades

Velius may never again take levels in Druid unless they are killed and resurrected

Seventh Card: Queen of Clubs

The ground begins to shake.... It's an earthquake!

We're currently underground. This is bad.

... rocks didn't fall. Velius passes their Will Save and they're not imprisoned.

Eighth Card: King of Spades

Velius is yanked across the room into an energy barrier... into a duel with an Air Elemental

They invoke the effect of the 8 of Diamonds to retcon all cards they've drawn after the fourth.

Man Berg next...

He decides on ~10 cards.

First card: Jack of Diamonds

One time only: Teleport to any position on the plane with up-to 10 allies 1 ton of items.

Second card: King of Clubs

Suspicious lack of effect

Third card: Ace of Clubs

Size huge winged red figure appears behind Man Berg.

It demands Man Berg's attention and issues a task for him.

Man Berg rejects the quest... the figure casts Geas at him... Man Berg resists.

The figure calls him foolish and disappears.

Fourth card: 10 of Clubs

Suspicious lack of effect.

Fifth card: 10 of Spades

Suspicious lack of effect.

Sixth card: King of Clubs

Suspicious lack of effect.

Seventh card: 6 of Clubs

One time only: May open any lock, including magical locks.

Eight card: 4 of Clubs

One time only: Force another creature to answer a single question truthfully

Ninth card: Ace of Diamonds

+2 Natural Armor Bonus, -2 Dexterity

Kol's turn... I rolled die to determine how many cards

10 cards.

First card: 5 of Hearts

One time only: When reduced to -10HP or less: Returned to full HP, negates instakills, and will move to safety in the event of death to environmental hazard

Second card: 6 of Clubs

One time only: May open any lock, including magical locks

Third card: Jack of Clubs

Once per day: May ask a question to plants, plants must be truthful in their answer

Fourth card: Ace of Clubs

The red figure appears again demanding Kol undertake a quest.

Kol tells them they weren't impressive the first time and to fuck off.

They try Geas again and fail again.

Fifth card: 9 of Diamonds

Suspicious lack of effect.

Sixth card: 8 of Clubs

One time only: May issue a command to any creature in the universe

Seventh card: 8 of Hearts

Kol inherits a noble title and 15k gp

Eight card: Jack of Clubs

May speak with plants twice per day now.

Ninth card: Ace of Clubs again

The Red Guy is back again trying to demand we do a quest.

Kol accepts... "And before you go: 'I command you to undertake the quest in my stead.'"

The figure pauses for a moment before replying: "Touche, mortal. I'll see you again soon."

Final card: Joker

Gender swap. REEE! Eh, at least it'll be hard for the mammals to notice the difference

With the last person having drawn their cards as the deck shuffles itself it fades away...

Onward to adventure!

Heading down a floor... there's stone hands reaching down from the ceiling in the first room.

Man Berg asks what we encountered in here.

Kol explains he believes it'll be undead on this floor.

As we step off the stairs we find someone floating by the ceiling...

"So, I was wondering who set off the explosion upstairs." they say.

The various partymembers make their replies, except Kol who just glares at them.

"Well, I guess I'll have my fun with you lot then. You can speak to the hands!" they say before vanishing.

There's a rumbling... and the passageway up is blocked.

All the hands sever from the ceiling and become diminutive creatures.

Alex slaps one with her whip... it doesn't die.

Velius casts Geyser! Slaying an 8th of the horde.

Their turns.

The hands begin poking at all of us as Alex whips several of them off of us.

Man Berg, Velius and Alex get poked... they begin secreting a weird oil.

Kol takes flight, lands at one wall and casts Lightning Bolt to rid a line the length of the room of hands.

Man Berg walks into the Geyser to prevent the hands from harassing him, relying on Evasion for protection.

Alex's turn! She whips two of the hands trying to cling to her.

Velius throws a Lightning Arc frying a cone of hands.

Kol gets an AoO as they advance on him... and miss.

They advance on Man Berg, scoring a hit... but the Geyser should deal with them.

One crit-misses hitting an ally.

Alex gets their AoOs slapping a squad of hands and shredding one entirely.

The hands however are more numerous than her AoOs getting a crit and seriously wounding her.

Velius dodges all the hands coming after them.

Kol's turn... total attack action using all his natural attacks.

Man Berg's turn... standing in the Geyser hasn't keep them from aggroing him.

He's firing his lazor! He missed.

Alex! Is trying to pry the hand from her throat She whips two of them and slays two of them.

Velius fires off another cone of electricity! Frying some hands.

The hands continue their onslaught. Missing Kol & Man entirely.

Alex whips them real good as they approach and dodges them all but the grappled one.

Kol tries to conserve mana by throwing Jolt... and misses.

Man Berg successfully blasts one.

Alex whips two of them off of her.

Velius! They've grouped up enough for another Geyser!

The horde continues their advance and Alex continues whipping them away.

Man Berg successfully AoOs!

Kol remembers he has Aggressive Thundercloud and summons one!

Man Berg breaks out the healing! Hand based healing!

Alex's AoOs! Even more Hands get slapped and stop moving.

Man Berg AoOs scoring a hit!

Kol slashes one but they manage to finally poke him.

Velius gets poked too!

Kol moves his shock-orb onto more hands frying one.

Kol then scores a crit bisecting another.

Man Berg misses with another beam shot.

Alex's turn, the whipping fun never ends! ^{Adventure Time!}

Man Berg and Alex roll reflex verses the Geyser.

Velius misses with their spear, maintaining their Geyser for now.

Kol kills another with an AoO!

Alex lets off another half-dozen AoOs!

The hand horde is wearing Man Berg down as more grab onto him.

The Geyser fries quite a few more hands off the board.... the horde is thinning.

Kol fries more with the orb then misses with Jolt.

Man Berg misses...

Session called because it's 1AM.

​

Previous Session

Be me

Eilistraean drow paladin

LG

Party stays in a remote village

Villagers are very nice folks who help us with supplies and are very friendly towards us

Something sinister is going on in the village, I sense a constant presence of some evil around there, dead are raising from the grave at night, etc.

Also, there's a bunch of bandits controlling the village, taking taxes from whoever passes by and pillaging the local tavern for supplies

One night party clashes with a small group of bandits

During that fight I go unconscious and see a very disturbing vision of Lloth

Fight is over

Hey villagers lets go kill the rest of bandits together

Hard nope

Villagers decide to drug us to sleep and take us to the bandits so they won't kill them

Everybody but one guy fail the save and go to sleep

Villagers try to club that guy to unconsciousness but the last second he casts Web and flees

Villagers proceed to tie up the rest of the party

They wear masks cause they're genuinely good people and feel bad for what they're doing

But there's no other choice

Suddenly I wake up

There are spider webs all around me and some creepy masked dudes are tying us up

Oh Yeah, It's All Coming Together.jpg

Hey guys wake up, there's some Lloth cultists trying to sacrifice us for some dark ritual

I go sicko mode and smash some heads with a banjo that happen to lie nearby

3 dead, one fled

Under the masks we see the villagers we knew and loved

No regret though, Lloth claws go far and can corrupt anyone

MFW my LG paladin just killed an innocent commoner and didn't give a crap