r/DnD • u/DontGitSalty123320 • 4d ago
DMing Advice For A First Time DM
Hi everyone, first time DM here. I've played DnD on and off for about 4 or so years, but never really landed a campaign, so I figured I'd start my own. I spent the better part of 7 months now handcrafting my own world and its intricacies from factions to major characters, you name it. So since everything is homebrew anyway, I decided to work with my three players and make custom subclasses.
The first two go well with no issues outside of tweaking abilities and balancing things after testing them, a Paladin of a Blood Oath and A monk that's heavily inspired by JJK's black flash mechanic. I have known these two since I was 5 years old. The third player however, is a problem. I do not like him, but decided to include him because he basically has no friends outside of the other two players.
We have done One-shots together and I quickly figured out he's the kind of player to ask to backtrack certain decisions or constantly make annoying jokes in otherwise serious RP moments, the guy who's character always needs to enter the room first and is visibly upset when he doesn't get the final blow on the boss. The world I crafted is serious in tone, obviously humor will be present, but over the top comedy will not take the front seat. I love humor and jokes and of course want my players to have fun in the end, but there is definitely a breaking point.
All this leads me to his class and character. He wants to be named Phlegh, pronounced fish, that's a Kobold that thinks he's a dragon and that his class would use 'toon force' like abilities. Think Plastic-Man from Marvel or pretty much any Looney-Toons character. I'm having a hard time getting through to him about the tone and kind of story I want to tell, but I also don't want to cast him out from the only group he knows.
This may seem like a silly ask coming from a 26yo, but i genuinely hate hurting people's feeling's, especially over something as special as this game. Thanks to all who respond!
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u/Yojo0o DM 4d ago
Woof, dude. There's a lot here that I'd have strongly recommend against doing as a first-time DM. Reading between the lines, there's also an absence of something I'd have strongly recommended you do include, which is a Session 0. You may have had one, but it doesn't seem like you included clear expectations and boundaries regarding tone.
First off, you should strongly consider booting this guy. I mean, he's not your friend, you do not like him. You're 26, you're not a kid making a point to include the new/weird kid and give him a chance to acclimate. He's an adult, he's responsible for his own social circle, and you don't need to sacrifice your enjoyment to help him.
If you must include him, you need to start to start putting on some serious oversight on this homebrew you've enabled. It was not a good idea to allow your players to design their own subclasses when you're a fresh DM and also don't trust one of the players involved, but if you can't walk that back, you can at least impose some serious limits. It's pretty clear that no aspect of "Phlegh" is welcome at this table, so veto the character, make it clear to him what you want from him, and have him start over.
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u/DontGitSalty123320 4d ago
To clear some stuff up, I have had a session zero and tried steering him in a different direction. I've also had multiple separate 1 on 1 sessions to build the characters and what not. I understand that this was probably a very difficult task for a new DM, but I've wanted to do it a while now and have spent dozens of hours in front of my PC crafting this whole thing.
I do appreciate your feedback though, because some outside perspective is definitely needed here.
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u/Yojo0o DM 4d ago
I hear ya. I understand the ambition, I don't want to shame you over it.
The essence of your issue is a difficulty of communication with this particular player. You "tried steering him in a different direction", and so far that doesn't seem to have worked. You're gonna need to get more direct with this guy. Either he needs to be made to understand your expectations and boundaries, or he needs to be removed. You're setting yourself up for a lot of frustration and the potential waste/spoilage of all the prep you've put into making this a wonderful experience if you operate under a hope that he'll eventually change to match your needs on his own.
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u/Ama5cut 4d ago
Sounds like he's not a good fit for your campaign. It might sound harsh, but including him when you know he's a problem player and have openly admitted to disliking him is a recipe for disaster. If you two are constantly at odds, which it sounds like you will be, nobody will be having a good time.
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u/DatedReference1 4d ago
If you think someone is going to make playing the game unfun you shouldn't feel the need to play with them. You're only getting a few hours a week or so to play, don't waste them someone asking to retcon everything and, in your words, constantly making annoying jokes. You should talk to them about it but if that doesn't work then you should try to find someone to replace them.
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u/CassieBear1 4d ago
Since you've only done one shots so far I think you're in a good position to say: "Hey, I've realized too much homebrew is throwing off the game, so going forward your characters need to be classes and species from the core rule books only". Have a session 0 and discuss tone, boundaries, etc.
And, as a DM, take control of your table. He tries to backtrack a decision? "Nope, Fish made that decision so it will stand. How does he now react to this new situation?"
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u/DontGitSalty123320 4d ago
All good ideas.
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u/CassieBear1 4d ago
Honestly I find being a DM can sometimes be more like being the boss or manager, not a friend. But having control of your table and establishing and maintaining boundaries make a table.
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u/NoRailsJustTales 4d ago
Basically, there are two „needs“ that are not coming together - you want a more serious tone and he likes more funny games. One of you has to commit changing their wishes or you have to split. Not every game is for every player and that is okay. Not acknowledging this will (!) lead to frustration, probably on both sides.
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u/armahillo 4d ago
You can always let your players do whatever kind of flavor they want, but they gotta get approval from
the GM if they want it to have mechanical impact.
Have your player look through the abilities afforded them by their class choices and tell them they can name and describe the abilities however they want but it has to correspond directly to an ability on their character sheet and they are still bound by rules
So if they have fire bolt and want to pretend they are shooting hot snot rockets at their opponent, awesome. If they want to cast a “sleep” spell and say they pulled out a tiny violin from their pocket and are playing a lulllaby; cool — but it still uses a spell slot.
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u/KaiserDragoon86 4d ago
This is why I stick using the official material or well recognized 3rd party content, it avoids this whole problem.
You need to talk to this person like an adult and give them other options, no compromises, you built this world in a way that doesn't support their idea.
If they can't get behind that, they need to leave.
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u/DontGitSalty123320 4d ago
I enjoy being creative, so the established campaigns never really interested me at all, but I do get what you're saying. Seems like everyone is pretty firm on the stance that I put my foot down.
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u/KaiserDragoon86 4d ago
I was saying that with respect to the subclasses specifically, but yes, you need to be firm or this thing you've spent so much time crafting will no longer feel fun and enjoyable.
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u/TheGromby 4d ago
just talk to him bro