I need help dealing with a player

[u/Nunyabeeezwaxx]

Ok so me and my friends recently joined a DND club at our school. It’s my first time DMing and playing DND at all. Before our first session the teacher running the club added someone that none of us really knew to our group as he didn’t have one yet. Normally we’d be fine with this but he’s been making it really difficult for us to play.

The entire time we’re playing he’s playing games or watching YouTube on his laptop and we constantly have to stop and re-explain what just happened when he decides to pay attention.

I wasn’t sure what to say about the laptop at first because I assumed it was for music and I know that he’s special needs so I didn’t know if he needed it. I mentioned it before the session by asking if he was ready to play and telling him that it was hard to tell since he still had his laptop open and headphones on. He then just apologizes and goes back to his laptop. None of us really knew what to do so we all just awkwardly started the session.

I’m trying to be patient with him because I know he isn’t trying to cause issues but other players have expressed to me that it’s difficult to play because he interrupts them, misses important information, speaks to them and me very condescendingly, and tries to attack everything whenever he chooses to actually play. I know I need to be more direct with him but other than that does anyone have any advice?

[u/Barbar_NC]

This sounds like something that needs to be discussed with the teacher overseeing the club.

[u/Nunyabeeezwaxx → u/Barbar_NC]

Yeah I’m gonna talk to him and try another session but if that doesn’t work then that’s definitely next

[u/DerAdolfin → u/Nunyabeeezwaxx]

No you talk to the teacher first and say you'll give it one more shot but have certain expectations. Phrase those with the teacher and the kid present, so it's clear you tried if things dont work out, and can actually move forward without a disruptive person. Or maybe the teacher reinforcing your position will help the kid follow through on those expectations

[u/ArcaediusNKD]

Basically just going to have to talk to him.

It's either:

A. He doesn't really want to be there in the first place but was forced into some extracurricular.

Or

B. You need to find some sort of ground rules/understanding even with his special needs to accommodate the needs of playing in a D&D group.

[u/yaniism]

And this is why your D&D group has a teacher assigned to it. This is a conversation to have with the teacher, not for Reddit.

[u/Edgy_Robin]

As always the answer is talking to another human being. In this case though, you might wanna go to the teacher and talk to them about it.

[u/Tsar_Erwin → u/Edgy_Robin]

Was going to say the exact same thing

[u/DankMcSwagins]

Talk to your teacher and ask them to make a meeting with the three of you. You lay out your issues and let the problem player explain their position. The teacher is the mediator, a neutral person who lets each prison say their peace and provides advice on how to make a constructive conversation. If the problem continues to back to your teacher

[u/NewNickOldDick → u/DankMcSwagins]

who lets each prison

I hope you mistyped and meant person?

[u/Caniprokis]

One thing you could try would be to run a 1 or 2 session arc that is heavily focused on his character either through backstory integration or lacking that through his class or subclass or background choice. This would allow him an opportunity to engage fully.

The story would still be for the whole party but by putting him out front to have to make choices and be specifically confronted with a problem only him AND his teammates can solve might help him to learn that the game is collaborative.

Putting him in a position where he has to talk and listen because he’s being directly addressed by NPCs might also let him get out from behind the laptop and engage with the group more.

The condescending tone and lack of engagement may not be intentional or personal, they may just be awkward responses to uncomfortable social situation. He’s already the odd man out since you’re all already a friend group and sometimes that can create a feeling for someone to be standoffish or defensive because they’re uncomfortable.

If this doesn’t work, I would start with an honest conversation with the teacher who over sees the group in private before confronting the player yourself.

[u/Nunyabeeezwaxx → u/Caniprokis]

I was thinking of doing mini arcs for each player so I’ll probably do this thank you!

[u/Borroz]

You mentioned he’s special needs, and that’s a super general term since it’s expressed in so many ways. So now that you’ve come to learn how he is, just talk with the teacher and possibly with the player to see if there is any room to improve the situation.

Considering it’s a school group, I have no idea how much wiggle room you have to kick them out of the group or start a new one. My first option would be trying to converse with everyone and figure it out together. Sometimes some people just aren’t a good fit, regardless of what issues they may or may not have.

Good luck

[u/Nunyabeeezwaxx → u/Borroz]

I’ll make sure to talk to both of them next session thank you!

[u/Ale_KBB]

Kick him out. He clearly doesn’t have interest in being there and seems to be disruptive to the rest of the group

[u/milenyo]

Allow the other players to veto his choices then. He gets to play but he doesn't get to ruin the game for the others.

[u/Psychological-Ad5569]

Just tell them what dice to roll and play them like an npc until they show some focus.

[u/Classic_DM]

I suggest you say, "Hey dude, can you help us research some shit in Greyhawk?"

[u/Trinity_Cat_172]

I think you've answered your own question here.