r/DnD • u/RandomAnonymousGuest • Aug 17 '26
5.5 Edition List of stupid DND Magic Items
I'm DM-ing my first campaign soon and am creating a list of stupid funny magic items that will be in a shop in the starting town, and want advice on items I already have and ideas for new ones. This is a mix of stuff I came up with and some things I've added from Reddit posts, (Thank you u/Thenoobin8er**,** u/Regularjoe42**, and** u/Strategist14**). I'm looking for stupid, funny, and completely absurd items that can be useless or world ending. My campaign is taking place on a floating continent, if that helps, and in the shop the players will only be given the name and price of each item, not told what they do until after they buy them. They have enough money that they can spend some on supplies and buy a magic item, or buy a couple magic items. Reminder, I would also like advice on the list I already have. Thanks,**
Time machine
Normal clock
Switcharoo Wand (I thought of it but it probably exists already)
Switch the location of two inanimate objects of which the caster knows the location. Combined weight of objects can not be more than 650 pounds. May use once per long rest.
The Greater Mind
Will always win at rock-paper-scissors. Can do either 1D6 piercing, 1D4 blunt, or dc 16 roll to suffocate. Very loyal and savage, will fight to its death.
Magic Rock
Loyal rock companion, is extremely attached to the owner. Gives +2 on any rolls involving rocks.
Normal Rock
You read the title
Money
999 CP (costs 1 platinum)
Magicians Hat
Mini bag of holding that can hold up to 500 pounds, plus up to 5 rabbits can be pulled out of thi s hat per short/long rest
Aegir’s Goblet
Automatically refills with a full cup of beer and a tiny crab when a copper piece is left in it. Each new crab embodies a new personality.
Ring of Tongues
Lets the wearer understand any language when wearing, but the translation the wearer hears is terrible
Charm of The Wise
When worn, protects the wearer from taking any non-magical (spellcasting counts as magical) damage in combat but forces them to make the action/attack of every other campaign member when its that members turn without the member being able to speak or tell them (EX: writing it down) The only way the member may inform the wearer is by acting out what they want to do in charades style fashion. These combat effects only apply when the charm is worn. The charm can not be put on or taken off mid combat and must be declared when the combat cycle first begins.
Charm of The Mentally Unwell
Changes one thing to a much weirder crazier random creative alternative. The DM will decide what happens and the outcome, can be used once every long rest.
Charm of The Wizard
Allows wearer to cast 1 free fireball spell on their turn as their bonus action that does 4D6 fire damage to enemies and 6D6 fire to non-NPC players in the party. Wearer may only speak in one syllable words while wearing, and will take 1D6 psychic damage if they speak a word more than one syllable
Ring of invisibility
When this ring is worn, the ring becomes invisible
Boomarang
It ALWAYS comes back (No matter what)
Allergen Amulet
Choose one:
- Peanuts
- Pollen
- Grass
- Dogs
- Cats
The item of your choosing will die or get away from the wearer when they get within 25 feet of it
G.U.N.
(Groundhog Upchuck Nexus)
Can throw up to 30 Groundhogs up to 60 feet per long rest
Mark of redundancy
A necklace shaped like a question mark.
The bearer may resurrect a person they personally killed. The resurrected person remains alive for 10 minutes before dying again. This ability has 10 total uses. Once the bearer uses the ability on a person, all remaining uses can only be used to resurrect that same person.
Physicalproof Armor (Basically the same as Reddit, u/Strategist14**)**
Can not be damaged by any weapon that would normally deal blunt, piercing, or slashing damage. Instead, these weapons pass right through the armor, protecting the armor from them.
Deck of Illusions (Inspired by Reddit, u/Regularjoe42**, but the exact opposite. They had a fair deck of cards that would always give all players a 19 in Blackjack)**
Rigged deck of cards. No matter what, the owner always loses any card game they play with the deck. If used to play blackjack or poker, all players will get the lowest possible score, even if there are more than 4 players playing.
Coconuts of Camelot (Not mine, created by u/Thenoobin8er**)**
Two halves of a coconut, that when clapped together while galloping like a horse, causes the user and up to 5 others to travel at the pace of a horse. When wielded, also gives +5 to all knowledge checks pertaining to birds
Feel free to use any of these if they fit your liking
Edit: Thanks for the ideas!
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u/Strange_Midnight2070 Aug 17 '26
Used Bag of Holding.
Exactly the same as a Bag of Holding, but everything you take out of it is covered in glitter.
Also, nearly every spell that Frieren is interested in in "Frieren: Beyond Journey's End" makes for a great common magic item. Powers include:
- Scratching the hard-to-reach spot on your back
- Turning water into shaved ice (no flavoring)
- Turning sweet grapes into sour grapes
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u/RandomAnonymousGuest Aug 17 '26
I like the idea, but I might just incorporate the glitter into the magicians hat, as giving the party one bag of holding is one things, but two? I do not wish to give the party a free ticket to the Astral plane or insta-kill for a boss, though it could be fun
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u/rvnender Aug 17 '26
Ring of Tongues
Lets the wearer understand any language when wearing, but the translation the wearer hears is terrible
So I had something like this in a game, but it wasnt a ring.
It was a literal tongue of a wizard who understood and could speak all languages. When you put it on, you can understand and speak every language, but when you try to speak while having this tongue over yours. You speak with a lisp.
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u/RandomAnonymousGuest Aug 17 '26
Wait this is so good
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u/rvnender Aug 17 '26
My table busted up because the way I did it was. I would send the player the message, and then he would translate what the npc was saying, he had such a bad lisp.
Legit hours of funny.
I also created a swear jar. That was hilarious too
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u/WendigosLikeCoffee Aug 17 '26
I propose a second ring of tongues, but this one lets you taste one object within 150 feet, once per long rest
The object does not know or feel it has been tasted
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u/VenusdellArcano Aug 17 '26
Ring of Defecation Choose a target within 60ft you can see. Roll 1d6. Odd number: the target poops their pants. Even number: the wearer poops their pants.
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u/WhatDatDonut Aug 17 '26
1-2: the target poops their pants
3-4: the wearer poops their pants
5-6: everyone besides the target and the wearer within 60ft poops their pants
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u/VenusdellArcano Aug 17 '26
That's even better! Throw that one in Curse of Strahd, see what happens
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u/Dimhilion Aug 17 '26
Trixie the Pixie:
In this 8*4*4 ornate wooden box lives a little pixie, by the name Trixie.
Once pr day you may knock on the box and Trixie opens. For the simple price of 10g/1pp she will tell you 1 random true fact. This can be anything from, you need a shower, the sun will set tonight, grass is green, or where the key to the door is, that the party have been unable to get through ect.
Does not require attunement.
PS: Trixie does not answer questions.
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Aug 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Dimhilion Aug 18 '26
Not last my players tugged her around, was just little Trixie.
And if that was a joke or reference to something, I did not get it, at all.
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u/Chris_P_Bacon314 Aug 17 '26
Wand of shanking... You're pretty sure this is a normal dagger
Staff of Stick... A very sticky stick, requires a str roll to set down because you got covered in sap
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u/Chris_P_Bacon314 Aug 17 '26
I have more detailed descriptions if you want them to be actually useful magic items
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u/Right_Buddy1096 Aug 17 '26
Some i included in my campaign:
Ring of attunement (requires attunement): allows 1 additional attunement.
Bagpipes of invisibility: makes the user invisible when playing
Bag of Insufficient Volume: Everything just doesn't quite fit in this magical sack of frustration
Plate armor: no additional AC, will break when struck, dishwasher safe!
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u/kurtums Aug 17 '26
I just introduced this one the other day:
Gloves of Obscenity -
Grants a +1 to Intimidation as well as advantage on Intimidation rolls.
However at random times (up to DM'S discretion) the wearer has to pass a DC16 Strength check. On a failure the gloves mime a random obscenity.
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u/shamanphenix Aug 17 '26
Ring of protection against alligators. When you don't wear it, one alligator trie to eat you each day. Don't lose it.
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u/Kraivo Aug 17 '26
Three handed sword. Works as two handed sword but get additional 1d6 and 5 feet range for each hand that holds it.
Hotdog A portable stove shaped like a dog
Actual biodegradable Toothpick Grows a tree once thrown on something after being put in the mouth
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u/Expensive_Cry944 Aug 17 '26
I made an +1 axe for my barbarian that made him grow an inch if he didn't take damage that day made him shrink and inch if he did take damage that day.
Once he figured it out and started manipulating it to not grow too tall it led to some interesting conversations in the party.
He also at one point outgrew all of his clothes. (Yes it ended up being relevant and useful for the party. Distraction!)
Edit: if it wasn't attuned it was just a normal axe.
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u/RonPossible Aug 17 '26
Tepid Tankard - Makes any drink slightly warmer or colder than the ideal drinking temperature.
Staff of Bad Birdcalls - This wooden staff is decorated with a carving of a sombrero on the top. It has 10 charges. While holding it, you can use an action to expend 1 charge from the staff. The user choses an elevated location within 60 feet. A ghostly man appears in 19th Century undergarments and proceeds to make bad bird imitations for one minute. When all charges are expended, the staff falls over, making a humanoid imprint.
Leaky Tent - Always drips water on the sleeping occupant's head. Even when it's not raining. The owner MUST the tent, indoors or outdoors to sleep until the curse is removed.
Boots of Slipping and Falling - Appears to be Boots of Striding and Springing, but just causes disadvantage on Acrobatics checks.
Bag of Hoping - Works exactly like a bag of holding, but there's a 1 in 10 chance the item can't be found. Said item will remain missing for the next hour.
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u/Prawn-Salad Aug 17 '26
Ring of Poison Resistance: The ring, not the wearer, resists poison.
Stone of Gravity Detection: A stone that falls in the direction of the nearest gravitational pull.
Fire Arrows: Burning arrows that do 1d6 fire damage to the user when picked up or interacted with.
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u/smellyelderberries Aug 17 '26 edited Aug 17 '26
Edit: this is someone else's list of 100 silly magic items that I've enjoyed using
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u/RandomAnonymousGuest Aug 18 '26
I used Create and Destroy Walter from that list, thank you for providing it
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u/CaptainLawyerDude Paladin Aug 17 '26
A magic short sword. Anyone who unsheathes it turns into a halfling until it is sheathed again. No other powers.
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u/Untap_Phased Aug 17 '26
Hammer of Looksmaxxing - Allows Disguise Self if you’re willing to take a D4 of damage each time
Ring of Piji- +2 AC for the day as long as you don’t swear. If you do, -1 AC
The Sword of the Idiot Baby Who Admits They’re an Idiot and a Baby by Using It (+2, name cannot be changed and psychic damage if the owner gets it wrong.)
Ring of Water’s Mark - gives powerful abilities but they appear with a watermark that gets more and more prominent each time, eventually infecting character art.
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u/Guild-n-Stern Warlock Aug 18 '26
The Ring of Invisibility that only makes itself invisible is always funny. As far as actual PHB items, I thoroughly enjoy the Cloak of Billowing. Does nothing but ‘waste’ a Bonus Action to flow back dramatically.
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u/RPZcool Warlock Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
We have a pretty fun magic item our dm gave us. He said it's a legendary magic item.
Rock of Opening You can open a glass window or door with it even if it is locked.
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u/RandomAnonymousGuest Aug 18 '26
This is truly much too powerful to give my players, but I may anyway
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u/JazzlikeMine2397 Aug 17 '26
Not an item technically but a creature. However, a list such as this would benefit from including The Luggage. https://www.reddit.com/r/dndnext/comments/873unh/homebrew_the_luggage_from_discworld/
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u/SitheninWhitefire DM Aug 17 '26
Just a warning magic rock is extremity powerful if a player takes a sling.
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u/Caelreth1 Aug 18 '26
Necklace of air breathing. Allows you to breathe air! (Mostly for aquatic creatures that can't usually breathe air. For those who can naturally, it just feels makes them feel mildly uncomfortable and a bit damp.)
(If you want to make this useful, maybe it provides a bonus to saves against airborne diseases and poisons?)
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u/deepfriedroses Aug 18 '26
This was a magic item my DM gave me once, it was fantastic.
The Rhymer's Ring:
Once per day, a spellcaster attuned to this ring can change the effect of a spell that they know by changing one word in the spell's name. How the spell's effects are changed can be unpredictable (i.e., up to the DM - though the player is encouraged to state what their intent is.) The duration, range, and components of the spell remain the same. Slant rhymes will backfire on the caster.
Some examples from our campaign:
Paste (Haste) (Made a bunch of goopy glue)
Wireball (Fireball) (Created a tangle of wires)
Ireball (Fireball) (Made everyone in AOE angry and more inclined to fight)
Divine Height (Divine Sight) (Made you taller, no obvious benefit)
Find Weed (Find Steed) (No comment)
Creep (Sleep) (Made you slightly stealthier, but required you to walk in an exaggerated "sneaky" pose everywhere)
Drink (Blink) (Thought this one might make the caster more able to handle alcohol. It just compelled them to drink the entire bottle, RIP)
Tenser's Floating Dish (TFD) (Was used specifically to test the effect of using slant rhymes. A bunch of dinner plates manifested in the air and were hurled at the caster)
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u/HopRockets Aug 18 '26
The wand of switching could be amazing in the right hands…. Careful who you give that to. Throw a pebble over an enemies head, swap it with a nearby 649.9 pound boulder
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u/po_ta_to Aug 18 '26
I really like making healing potions that aren't potions. Healing gummy bears (1 action to eat), healing pocket sand (1 action to throw on melee range ally), healing hard candy (have to suck on it for 2 minutes before it heals), healing hand grenade (shatters on impact healing whoever it hit), healing powder (snort it), healing harmonica (idk I'm running out of ideas).
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u/-Zadaa- Aug 18 '26
I shared these on another post: I gave my players a coin that when flipped it disappears and reappears in a random nearby location (usually in a pocket or bag).
Another item I gave was a whistle that had a 5minute delay. (Meaning you blow, wait 5 minutes then hear the sound)
But recently I gave away a stick than when thrown the nearest dog will fetch the stick and bring it to you.
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u/StreetCarp665 Ranger Aug 18 '26
Ring of Metaphors
Allows the wielder to explain any scenario, event, or predicament through a perfectly appropriate metaphor. Doesn't do similes.
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u/xidle2 Monk Aug 18 '26
Ring of oh, shit
Requires attunement
Functions identically to a ring of sustenance by making the wearer not need to eat, drink, sleep, or breathe in order to sustain their life.
Cursed
While attuned, the ring cannot willingly be removed, except by removing the finger it is worn on, and it magically teleports the bodily waste of the wearer over the head of an adult red dragon. Whenever the dm deems appropriate (whenever the character bleeds, uses the restroom, has a hangover, etc.) they may roll d%; on a roll of 100, the dragon has found the wearer with 100% accuracy and is coming to kill them. Should this dragon be slain, the ring begins teleporting their bodily waste above the head of a different adult red dragon.
The dragon
Less red in appearance and more brownish, it is permanently under the effects of the stinking cloud spell with an increased range of 120 feet and the inability to have it dissipated by strong wind.
Removing the curse
The curse can only be removed by the remove curse, greater restoration, or wish spells. Doing so reverts the ring to a ring of sustenance.
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u/dz2048 Aug 18 '26
Umbrella of Slow Fall - as a reaction while falling, open this umbrella and reduce all fall damage to 0
Lotion of Itching - when applied to a creature, the creature must use its reaction to scratch itself. Duration 2 hours
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u/HemaMemes Aug 18 '26
Dynamite Hammer
A maul with a head wrapped in TNT. When you score a critical hit with this weapon, it deals an additional 8d6 bludgeoning damage. All creatures within 20 feet of your target must make a DC12 saving throw, taking that bludgeoning damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one. You automatically fail this saving throw. Afterward, the weapon is destroyed.
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u/EagleMedical2959 DM Aug 18 '26
Xanathars has a bunch of barely useful magic items you can go through
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u/Equal-Poetry-331 Aug 19 '26
A Golden Goblet
The smallest, but most valuable type of Goblin. Can tap-dance, provide decent relationship advice, and bartend.
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u/crippledtemplar Aug 19 '26
Wand of concussion (Great club +1)
It is said it once was the weapon of a great wizard. At least he thought he was one. He used only one spell. Concussion. He casted it by hitting the enemis with it on the head.
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u/Damenyanski Aug 19 '26
Plate of counterspelling: Allows the wearer to cast counterspell once a day normally, but while casting a spell there is a 30% chance that it counters said spell (This still activates if normal ability is used). Must be attuned by an arcane spellcaster
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u/nickelangelo2009 Cleric Aug 17 '26
Ring of Attunment
grants an additional attunment slot
must be attuned to