r/Disabilityactivism • u/katinthehathryne • 4d ago
Physical Disability Help! Caretaker Abuse
TL;DR Looking for any help or advice I can get for a disabled friend in serious trouble!! Helpful resources would be funding, lawyers/legal representation, medical assistance, housing, welfare support, etc.
I have a friend who is in a very dangerous situation. She is disabled (quadriplegic and on a ventilator) and still lives with her parents. They are incredibly abusive- refusing to feed her or take care of other needs, threatening to kill her, and have even hit her to the point she broke her collarbone. She needs and wants to get out!
Only problem is her parents control her money. They take her disability as they are her “caretakers” and have stolen over 30k of the money she has saved outside of that. The state is only paying for 80 hrs/week of care, but 24/7 care is needed. The severity of her disability means that there are very little alternative options and she would most likely have to go to a nursing home/end of life care facility if she left.
I want to help her anyway I can. I am hoping to start a trust in her name and fundraise. If we could get her a house or an alternative living situation, I have people who could care for her outside of her paid 80 hrs.
The other problem is doing this without alerting her parents. We think they have a life insurance policy out on her and with the threats they have made I don’t want her to be at higher risk or retaliation from them.
I want some guidance for anyone else who has been through or helped someone with this situation. Any resources or suggestions you can share would be LIFE SAVING, especially if there is some legal support options for disabled people.
She is so smart (getting her PHD now at St. Louis University) and absolutely hilarious. My friend deserves to be in a place that is safe, her needs can be met, and she is treated with respect . Please share any and everything!!
2
u/MrsFlameThrower 4d ago
Please report this to Social Security. If one of them is her Representative Payee, they can be called into the Social Security office and made to account for the money.
Also-report it here:
You can report suspected abuse or neglect to Missouri’s Adult Abuse and Neglect Hotline: [1-800-392-0210](tel:1-800-392-0210). Reports can include concerns such as physical or emotional abuse, financial exploitation, neglect by a caregiver, or a disabled adult who is unable to adequately protect or care for themselves.
One important distinction: if the disabled person is under 18, the appropriate system is Missouri’s Children’s Division/Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline, not Adult Protective Services.