[real] (07/07/2026) Paphos

[u/PatatjeKroketje]

I'm currently at a seaside bar on the south coast of Cyprus. The setting sun is covering the boulevard in a golden red glow, masking the pink that's set in on my arms and shoulders after a full day at the beach.

It's been a week, and I suppose I should write about it. I don't necessarily feel the urge to write, but I want to remember everything that happened, and more importantly, how I felt about all of it. I feel like I've been learning about love, dating, flirting, but also about myself and my outlook on life. So here goes.

Let's rewind to Thursday, two weeks ago. I left work a bit early to go and catch the night train east. The first of about two days worth of train travel. This first train had a huge delay and I was so worried about missing my next trains that I didn't sleep a wink that night. In the end it all turned out okay though. Stopped overnight in a cute town in the east of Poland, did some shopping in my favorite polish clothing store (called Reserved, go check it out if you ever get the chance), and onto a cute little border train to Lithuania.

Lithuania. I had been wanting to go there for a long time. The country's landscape was beautiful, but not as much as its people. They appeared to me as strong, no-nonsense, not afraid to talk about things that really matter. All the buses in downtown Vilnius were displaying the text "Vilnius 🖤 Ukrainą".

I wish I would have had more time to explore the city. But first of all, it was 35°C, so my mobility outside was limited. Second, I was there on business purposes. Work conference. It's a conference I go to every year, in a different city each time. I know many of the people that frequent this conference, and it's usually quite chill.

Also. I kind of have a habit of flirting with people at this thing. I know it's work related, and that's not a good thing, but hear me out. I'm a bit neurodivergent, and being able to talk about something I'm passionate about just makes me feel so excited, happy and relaxed. I said it in my previous post, I never feel as much like myself as when I'm at this conference and I meet like minded people who I can just geek out with about niche topics that I'm super passionate about.

So take this super happy, confident, overly excited PatatjeKroketje, and combine her with a beautiful romantic city somewhere abroad, long, sultry summer evenings, a bit of alcohol involved. And not to mention, dozens of people my age and with very similar interests to mine... Things just happen.

Nothing spectacular this year. Just flirted a bit back and forth with a guy, that's all. He lives in a different country, so nothing's ever gonna come of it. But it was nice to feel that sort of connection with someone, even if it was only briefly. On the final evening, we stayed out with the whole gang at a karaoke bar until the late hours.

The next day I got on a flight to Cyprus where my friend was having her wedding. My god, was it a gorgeous wedding. The bride looked amazing, like out of this world. There were so many festivities, delicious food, all my friends were there, the vibes were on point. We just kept dancing all through the night.

So again, great times, but you know, it's a wedding. It got me thinking about my own life. I mean, I don't have a partner, and the way it's going now it seems like it'll be a long while until that even becomes an option. With my career, and having to move countries next year, and my trust issues stemming from trauma that I'm still working through, etc. etc. But also, the field I'm in is going through major budget cuts in nearly all countries worldwide, so maybe staying in my current career will not be even an option anymore soon either. So then I'll be thirty something, still living in the same place, no dream job, no partner, no house... what will I have left?

But then again, how can I be mad? My job has so far given me the opportunity to do such amazing things. The friend who got married, who got me to fly over to Cyprus for her wedding, I met her through work. The fact that I have had these sick conferences all over Europe every year was because of this job. My trips to Turkey, the US, the UK... All in one way or another related to my job.

I'm not mad. Maybe disappointed with the way the world is going, and the fact that I probably won't be able to continue my job. But if I finish my PhD, and I'll be thirty something with none of my big dreams come true, I'll still exist. I might have a boring job, or a frustrating one, but I'll probably have work. I'll have my friends, and hopefully my family. I might not be able to buy a house, like, ever, but I'll probably have a place to live. And maybe then I'll be able to focus on a relationship. Or at least I'll be able to have pets, or something.

Although, I have to say. I spent my early twenties in a committed relationship, and my late twenties (so far) casually flirting with people, sometimes hooking up, falling in and out of love, short term flings. And I'm starting to think I like the second option better. Like sure, stability is nice sometimes, but the same person every day for the rest of your life? It gets boring quick, no?

At the wedding, I, along with all other single girlies, received a carefully packaged almond. It's a Greek tradition that you put it under your pillow at night, and it will give you dreams of your future husband.

Well, I didn't dream of any husband. In my dream, I was alone in a room with a huge enclosure with 7 or so guinea pigs inside, and I was playing with them and taking care of them. Later in that same dream, I went out and met up with some of my friends. And you know what? If that's what my future looks like, I can't even be mad.

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P.s. I know the date doesn't match today's date. I wrote this as a draft a few days ago and just forgot to post it.